michele bachmann
Hooray! Ron Paul won the Emmy for President of California Republicans! Ron Paul won the California state GOP straw poll with 44% of the vote for the bargain bin price of $25,000, compared to second-place loser Rick Perry who spent nothing, did not show up and got 29% of the vote just for being an [...]
Geez, the 85 or so spam emails we get from Michele Bachmann’s campaign begging for money each week are apparently going unheeded, since this latest campaign video appears to have been recorded for the rental price of the plastic tree in the background and shot on Marcus’s laptop computer camera in a dank office hallway [...]
The New York Times has a cute piece sort of attempting to “figure out” what is wrong with Michele Bachmann that makes her spout irrational nonsense with the clockwork frequency of a regular bowel movement. We automatically assumed it is because she is actually insane, based on evidence, but maybe, for journalism fun, there is [...]
Some person at the University of Iowa is suffering whatever consequences one faces when one makes a dumb joke about an all-around insane woman trying her absolute hardest to win America, on the promise of giving everyone cervical cancer popsicles forever. The University of Iowa is apologizing for a joke on a school Twitter feed [...]
The GOP is of course known generally as the “pro-genocide party” when it comes to illegal immigrants, but the field of GOP presidential candidates appears to be worried that America’s dim racist slobs have not been able to connect them enough with this platform. “Hey,” the Racist Slob Empire of Arizona whispered, “we’ve got a guy [...]
It’s sort of like if there were a Photoshop equivalent for watching a methane tank explode in the middle of a clown convention. [Amazon]
Welcome to the seventh dimension, humans: even Satan’s pet horned toad Rush Limbaugh thinks Michele Bachmann’s ludicrous claim that the Gardasil HPV vaccine causes girls to “suffer mental retardation” is off-the-reservation insane.
You know those dirty syringes loaded with a terrible cervical cancer-preventing drug cocktail that Rick Perry was sneaking around and chucking basically nonstop at the innocent young ladies of Texas like a mad pervert on a dart-throwing spree, back in 2007? Well, Michele Bachmann has consulted her expert panel of invisible witch doctors just now, thank [...]
CNN’s spambots have been trolling our inbox since approximately forever with their creepy propaganda for this ludicrously billed “First Ever Tea Party Republican Debate” war film starring rusty news studio camera tripod Wolf Blitzer, an event which is neither the first “Tea Party debate” nor even the first Republican debate in the last week. We [...]
Tune in tonight as we liveblog, against our will, CNN’s very own amateur porn hour GOP debate edition of Wolf Blitzer trying to cop a feel off deranged hair monster Rick Perry! 8PM ET! Herman Cain will also sex 9/11, Michele Bachmann will sex the corpse of her own campaign, Rick Santorum will sex himself, Mitt [...]
Infamous hollow-gazed wretch Michele Bachmann gave a largely comatose debate performance last night that would have been easily upstaged by, oh, probably a cheap household stereo blaring a mixtape’s worth of her stump speeches played backwards, at half speed, to the Ride of the Valkyries. To celebrate, the media will begin its time-honored tradition of [...]
In these tough economic times, white people are really struggling to find preexisting jobs that don’t include touching dirt or doing actual work (that is for Mexicans) and because of this, “entrepreneurship” is the cool name for trying to make a buck off a mostly lousy idea. We are guessing this is the background story, [...]
Hello fiends! Your editor is back tonight to do some hot Reagan Death Zombie liveblogging, and your other editor will be here later to take over, and if there was EVER a week to come back to Wonkette and “mind the gap” or whatever, this is a very bad one indeed. TONIGHT: Eight sociopaths suffering [...]
Lunatic pill-head Michele Bachmann’s veteran campaign manager Ed Rollins is stepping down for “health reasons,” and, he added, “it’s a Romney-Perry race” is the name of his illness. We hear you, Ed Rollins, that is a tough disease to battle on campaign hours, seven days a week, with only the “hope” of certain death at [...]
