michele bachmann

Things are scary out there, you guys. Obamacare has racked up another victim! And this one isn’t just some simple simpleton weeping about losing her insurance that only pays the first $50 for those rare services it actually decides to cover. This is one of our nation’s finest, a leader among men and women, a […]

This has been a fun couple of days, what with watching the Cephalopod caucus in Congress run shrieking from the Affordable Care Act and dulling the pain by driving nails through our testicles and all. So you’ll forgive us if we missed the news that a few of the walking yeast infections on the Republican […]

Aw yeah, it’s that time again folks. The end times, you hear? Time to get right with the Lord and take stock of your personal relationship with Jesus Christ, because the apocalypse trend is back again, hotter than hell-fire. And the fervent calls to immenantize the eschaton are being led this time by what has […]

Poor Michele Bachmann needs a hug. She called the reopening of the federal government after a two week shutdown “a very sad day,” because mean old Barack Obama “got 100 percent of what he wanted” — you know, a functioning government, and no worldwide economic meltdown due to a debt default. We ask you, is […]

Omnipotent omnipresent omniscient Miley Cyrus showed up on “Saturday Night Live” on, well, Saturday as both musical guest and special guest star. Ladies and gentlemen, please start your engines to discuss any of the following: 1) SNL sucks now and no one should ever watch it. 2) Justin Timberlake is the only person that should […]

The good folks at Michelle Malkin’s Home for Aggrieved Aggregators have made a shocking discovery! House Republicans did not shut down the park service, and in particular did not shut down the World War II Memorial on the National Mall. Turns out the orders to shut out WWII vets came directly from Barack Obama himself! […]

Attention, America! Michele Bachmann has taken a close look at Barack “Tha Ghetto Gangsta” Obama and has figured out what his nefarious plan for America is — he wants to get us sucking on the crack pipe of government dependency! And you know how Americans are: once they slip into the “Blue Cross Haze” of […]

And now, a Very Important Clarification! It turns out that a story from July that suggested that a supporter accidentally sent Michele Bachmann a sex toy instead of a scalp massager to help with her migraines is… well, Maybe Not True. Or so says one of the people close to the situation, in a sworn […]

Sure, Republicans, try to stop Hillary Clinton from landsliding straight into the White House in 2016 with your BENGHAZIIIII!1 investimagations if you think that’ll help (psst, it won’t), but Rep. Michele Bachmann, who is on the House Intelligence Committee because God enjoys irony, has studied the Bible, which is sort of like God’s FiveThirtyEight, and […]

America’s three stupidest congresscritters, Michele Bachmann, Louie Gohmert, and Steve King (the cantaloupe guy, not the IRA guy), held a press conference Saturday to praise the Egyptian military for overthrowing the elected government and for its recent attempt to eliminate the Muslim Brotherhood; they also expressed their support for continued arms sales to the military […]

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Birth certificates were all the rage a couple years ago. But now they are so passé, except for a few wingnutters out there. However, GOP Canadian-born Anchor Babby extraordinaire Ted Cruz (R-Calgary) is trying to put a new twist on an old favorite. Per The Hill: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Tex.) released his birth certificate to […]

Poor Glenn Beck has been betrayed. Again. Guy has been stabbed in the back so many times people mistake him for a really stupid, conspiracy-spouting pincushion. The latest Judas to break Glenn’s heart is Rep. Michele Bachmann, who voted against a bill Wednesday that would have defunded the NSA’s data-collection program, as revealed by the […]

We had a good laugh yesterday in the secret Wonkette chatcave, about Michele Bachmann’s thievy aide getting arrested for stealing sad little envelopes of petty cash. Or at least we think we had a pretty good laugh about it. We might have just moved on to shinier things, like how fun it is to shoot […]

Minnesota performance artist Michele Bachmann sat down with WND to explain how Congress needs to “spank the President” and take away his “magic wand” before he grants voting rights to illegal aliens. Again. Buried lede: the double entrendres aren’t even the craziest part of this story! No, the main thing is that Michele Bachmann says […]