Wonkette

Minnesota Congresswoman, President-fondler, child-farmer, and crazy-ass foster-MILF Michele Bachmann went to Iraq. The thrilling story of her trip was recounted recently in the Times of St. Cloud, Minnesota, that bastion of quality journalism and repository of insane ghost-penned letters from the children of Bachmann’s staff recounting how awesome a job their mom’s boss is doing. It sounds like it went pretty well! MORE »

Paul Bremer gets chicks by saying he’ll do to them what he did to Iraq, John Boehner wants to learn the technique, Michele Bachmann might have already, Ricky Martin’s feeling gay, Teri Hatcher seems to be alive, and bon soir to leftist cartoon Howard Dean.

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Minnesota congresswoman and President-abuser Michele Bachmann lost her first of what is sure to be many chiefs of staff last month, as Brooks Kochvar departed her office to go work for a sensible person from Oregon. MORE »

The most successful “grass roots” campaign in political history continues to produce results: A second Letter to the Editor praising baby-farming Jesus freak Michele Bachmann has been published.

Bachmann’s staff sent an e-mail to supporters earlier this month begging them to write nice things about her. After all, she has personally had or purchased more than a hundred babies and her husband has long battled homosexuality. Oh, and she tried to rape the president in January, on live teevee.

Anyway, the crusade first saw success last week when a Republican Hill staffer got a letter published in the St. Cloud Times. Now that same paper — which is apparently run by utter tools — has printed a new letter, this time from Bachmann’s staffer’s son. You can read this very convincing epistle, after the jump.

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Beloved Minnesota congresslady and foster-baby farmer Michele Bachmann is for the right things (Jesus, sexually assaulting George W. Bush) and AGAINST the wrong things, such as The Devil and the Soviet Union. This is why we love her. Plus, her staff demanded that all of us Bachmann fans write letters to the newspapers about how she is so awesome.

We have found the first fruit of this important letter-writing campaign, and you can read it after the jump.

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Subject: Possible letter to the editor on behalf of Michele Bachmann
Date: Wed, 7 Mar 2007 17:42:08 -0500

Suggestions:

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This is the kind of double-secret intelligence-gathering covert agent work that separates the Tipsters from the Operatives: Congresswoman Michele Bachmann ISO young, sexy college students to serve as spring interns.

Although she has only served for six or so weeks (so far!), Rep. Bachmann has already distinguished herself by:

a) Sexually assaulting the president on live teevee after the State of the Union speech.
b) Doing right-wing talk-show interviews while naked.
c) Unveiling the secret conspiracy to give Iraq to Van Morrison’s old band (”Them”).
d) Running a Minnesota baby farm.

Don’t you want to work with the Honorable Hotty McCrazyLady? Details after the jump.

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Our nation’s loopiest congresslady has revealed Top Secret government intelligence plans to give half of Iraq to Iran. The new half-country will be a special terrorist safe haven, says Rep. Michele Bachmann, and it’s going to be called “the Iraq State of Islam, something like that.” MORE »

The Politico reports today that everyone in Congress is still upset that Nancy Pelosi said they’d have to work five days a week. They quote ten separate Senators and Reps bitching about being overworked, including our new favorite member: MORE »

It just gets worse. Maybe this is why Bush is always covered in welts and boils and whatnot — they’re actually hickeys from Michele “Let’s Make Babies, Baby” Bachmann.

Another horrifying shot, after the jump.

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Hey, you recognize that old familiar 3/4 profile? That’s right, it’s Kitty Harris, who, thank god, has not yet and hopefully never will actually leave Washington. Or even the Capitol. She attended the State of the Union last night, and Washington Whispers caught her handing out her business cards to anyone she could reach. MORE »

Enjoy it while you can! MORE »

Yes, we saw crazy Michele Bachmann sexually assault the President. It was… weird. It made us uncomfortable. Sadly, Minnesota’s KSTP has taken the video down from their website, after their servers were presumably swamped by perverted Drudge readers. We’ll work on getting our own up, but in case you’re wondering what you missed, the crazy Jesus Lady held on to the President’s shoulder with a Holy Ghost-strengthened death grip for what felt like an hour. He signed her an autograph, she still held on. He tried to ditch her and kiss some other congresswoman, and she still held on. In fact, she held on even tighter. MORE »

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