michele bachmann
Michele Bachmann’s God Is One Weird Fella
Super-sane and not at all Kaa-eyed congresslady Michele Bachmann prays to a fearsome G_d. First, He did Benghazi. Next, he will send the archangel Michael, probably disguised as a bunny, to wrestle the repeal pen into Barack Odumbo’s hand, and then Odumbo will sign the repeal of his signature law, Odumbocare, because Michele Bachmann prayed [...]
New Poll: Michele Bachmann Already Losing Her House Race
Here is an important 2014 election update brought to you by AHAHAHAHAHAHA: Michele Bachmann is trailing her Democratic challenger for her House seat by two points, according to a new survey from Public Policy Polling: The survey…shows Democrat Jim Graves leading Bachmann, a four-term congresswoman and former GOP presidential candidate, 47 percent to 45 percent. [...]
Tea Party Has New Holy Cause: Converting Known ‘Atheist’ George Soros!
The Tea Party is the absolute worst party in American history. It’s just like every sequel — the first one is totally awesome and brings about the creation of a new country, and the second one is Hangover 2. The Tea Party Nouveau is just like that! There is a fucking monkey and a Thai [...]
Michele Bachmann: God Did Benghazi
Well, looks like Hillary Clinton can relax, she will not get inpeached for murdering all the Libyan ambassadors even before her election and swearing in. But why won’t she get inpeached, when she finally got her two a.m. phone call and jumped into action to personally fly to Benghazi and do murder? She will not [...]
Everything Turning Up Horse Poop for Michele Bachmann
Beloved nut Michele Bachmann, whom we mostly picture these days as a wee Roomba whirring around on the carpet of her House offices sucking up dropped pain pills, is having some legal problems lately. Have you heard? The chief justice of the Iowa Supreme Court will name an independent investigator to look at claims she [...]
Lamestream Media Hunting Down Poor Michele Bachmann Like Wild Dog
So here is how it went: First Michele Bachmann screeched about how our dastardly Usurper got a total Death to Amerikkka Boner when he murdered our Libyan ambassador in BENGHAZIIIIIII, and then Michele Bachmann told some dumb lies about the five chefs who fly on Air Force One and the “presidential dogwalker” and $1.4 billion [...]
Your Smile-Time Schadenfreude Headline Of The Day: Michele Bachmann Is ‘Very Proud’ That She ‘Didn’t Get Anything Wrong’ in GOP Primary Debates
Yes, she really said that. As CityPages’ Aaron Rupar reports, the woman who the AP gave up on fact-checking because she “was so full of shit, the AP would’ve needed round-the-clock staff to check all the claims she made” said this in an interview yesterday at Patrick Henry College in Purcellville, Virginia: “If you are [...]
U.S. Winning War On Sluts Through Proud Tradition Of Self-Inflicted Stupidity
Happy Friday everyone! Did you have an awesome Valentine’s Day yesterday? Did you follow yr Wonket’s advice and fuck literally anyone besides one of the Vestal Virgins over in the rightwing blogosphere? Congrats! Oh and you should probably go over to Planned Parenthood after breakfast because you probably have the clap now: The United States’ [...]
Michele Bachmann Still On House Intelligence Committee
Did you feel safer sometime around 11 a.m. Eastern on Friday? Almost as though someone (or someones!) very capable was keeping an eye on our enemies, both foreign and domestic? Of course you did, this is because John Boehner has put Michele Bachmann on the House Intelligence Committee again. Aren’t we lucky, Amercia? USA! USA! No, [...]
Victoria Jackson, Allen West Still Suffering From Wingnut Vocabulary Disorder
Hey, lissen up, guys, Michele Bachmann is being THREATENED and we need to PROTECT her! Darn it, no matter how much we disagree with someone, we certainly don’t want them to be threatened… So tell us more about these threats, former weakest member of the 1986-1992 SNL cast Victoria Jackson, on your sloppily formatted webpage: [...]
Michele Bachmann Campaign Aides Fighting Over Who Was Slimiest Slime Ever
Today we have another entry in that timeless political genre, the Disputed Insider Account of a Failed Presidential Campaign. This time around, the dish involves the implosion of Michele Bachmann’s highly amusing 2011-2012 campaign (for PRESIDENT!), which one former aide suggests would have gone just swimmingly had the candidate not come under the hypnotic influence [...]
Michele Bachmann Stiffing Campaign Staffers, Offending Lord
Who could have EVER guessed that the lady who stomps around Washington accusing high-ranking aides of being terrorists might not necessarily be the best person to make business deals with? Turns out it could be… true. Rep. Michele Bachmann, she of the terrifying blank stare and razor-thin 2012 victory, is being accused of refusing to [...]
Sad Face: Wonkette Bread And Butter Michele Bachmann May Be In Trouble
We’d really hate to jinx anything, so we are typing this with our fingers crossed: America’s Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins), despite the advantages of a fanatical national following and a very conservative district, just might not be a shoo-in for reelection this fall. (Also, OW! OW! OW! Do not try to type that [...]
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