Tag: michele bachmann

Michele Bachmann Knows What God Wants, Again, Is Wrong, Again

God sure has a good sense of humor!

Michele Bachmann So Mad Obama Made It Legal To Beat Up White People

We can hardly believe it either (because it is not true)!

Let’s Imagine: Michele Bachmann Advises Donald Trump On Foreign Policy

The helicopter soared over the Minnesota woods like a huge machine designed for that purpose. Inside were Donald J. Trump and his pilot, Golden Pilot, a gold plated human pilot who was very expensive. “Golden Pilot,” said Trump. “Yes, Mr. Trump?”...
Financial model remarkably similar to Trump's

Michele Bachmann Advising Donald Trump On International Policy, Radical Islam, Underpants Gnomes

Michele Bachmann is advising Donald Trump on foreign policy. How's that for a kick in the pants?
When in doubt, use this picture

Michele Bachmann Knows Jesus Told Her To Jump Huma Abedin’s Muslim Bones

Does Michele Bachmann regret being the most insane congresslady ever? Heck no, she was just doing the Lord's work!
Beast Jebus is BEST Jebus!

Deleted Comments Of The Week: Why U Make Baby Jebus Cry, Wonkette? WHY?

Wonkette made fun of Michele Bachmann and Donald Trump's pretended outreach to evangelicals. Clearly, we hate Christians and want to impose Sharia. Duh.

Wonkette Baby Literally Walking All Over Your Weekly Top Ten

You come vote for the Wonkette Baby in the Cute Baby Contest right now!
Really can't go wrong with this pic. Or the corndog.

Michele Bachmann Makes Donald Trump’s ‘Evangelical Advisory Board,’ Wasn’t Busy Anyway

Donald Trump went and got himself a bunch of top rightwing Christian thought leaders to join his newly-announced 'evangelical advisory board.' He got Michele Bachmann, too.
Shoulda gone with Prince

Phyllis Schlafly Says Michele Bachmann Too Stupid To Be New Phyllis Schlafly

Conservative All-Mother Phyllis Schlafly (yes, she's still alive, stop being so surprised!) revealed Wednesday in an interview with Alex Jones that, in the continuing mishegas over control of the Eagle Forum, the rightwing group she founded, she once considered...

What Stupid Gaffes Are We Accusing Hillary Clinton And Bernie Sanders Of Today?

HOLD THE PRESSES. Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders did two stupid things that actually are not stupid at all and everybody needs to shut the fuck up cuz this shit is stupid. First, Bernie Sanders was "discourteous" to the Vatican....

Michele Bachmann Says Brussels Attacks Were God’s Little Way Of Giving Obama A Wedgie

How grateful are we that Michele Bachmann refuses to go gently into that good night? She rages, rages, at the dying of her political career, and we are the recipients of that gift. Michele opened up her AOL Tuesday...

Who Will Save The Babies Now That Antonin Scalia Is Roasting In Hell?

Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia (or "Anthony" Scalia if you are a moron, like Michele Bachmann) died Saturday night, when his heart quite suspiciously up and quit, as if a 79-year-old with health problems suddenly dying out of the blue is even...

GOP: The Only Person To Replace Scalia Should Be The Reanimated Corpse Of Scalia

After Antonin Scalia shocked the world by abruptly dying in his sleep some time Friday night, your namby-pamby liberal Twitter feeds and Gchats and your texts and probably your Tinder messages exploded with a mixture of (1) "Good. Fuck...
Where is your Godzilla now?

Michele Bachmann Not About To Let Obama Become Antichrist At The United Nations, No Way

Former Congresspastor Michele Bachmann has been playing the ol' "The Bible Is A Roadmap For History" game again, and she has some pretty fascinating predictions about what's going to happen in the Middle East any day now, as we...
He's thinking of ideas right now.

New House Speaker Paul Ryan Has Some Ideas, You Guys!

Fresh-faced dumb baby House Speaker Paul Ryan woked up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning! He did his P90X, said his affirmations into the mirror, and then tweeted out an idea he had been having, about how it would be...

PolitiFact Lie Of The Year Is Every Single Word Out Of Donald Trump’s Face Hole

The fact up-lookers at PolitiFact, best known for finding creative ways to label true statements as anything but -- half-true, mostly true, true-ish but not really, true with a smidge of false on the side -- have announced their annual Lie...