Wonkette

How much does fluorescent light advocate and Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann’s staff love her? So much that they are constantly quitting! New information reveals that Rep. Bachmann has lost two chiefs of staff, a district director, a press secretary, two legislative assistants, a staff assistant, a caseworker, an outreach and grants coordinator and a district scheduler since she hired them early last year. Is her insanity driving them away, or is it her penchant for playing footsie with her colleagues? MORE »

Bush-groping robot-loving Foster MILF Michele Bachmann is America’s favorite Republican lady congressperson from Minnesota, but is the baby-farming beauty getting busy with a fellow lawmaker who is not her husband? Read the hot rumor that is suddenly sweeping the state, after the jump. MORE »

Insane baby-farming robot-herder and sometime Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann has a new enemy: fluorescent light bulbs. That’s right. She does not care for these newfangled hippie environmentalist group-sex bulbs, preferring the honest and trustworthy incandescent kind. And now she is taking her case to the American people with her “Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act.” MORE »

Minnesota Representative Michele Bachmann recently took a little break from her baby-farming to remind voters of how crazy she is. She assured her constituents that God had not abandoned them in Iraq and called global warming “voodoo.” She also warned them about a terrible place called “Democrat land” where something is horrifically wrong with the phone systems. More gibberish after the jump. MORE »

It turns out Michele Bachmann isn’t the only terrified lawmaker hiding from her constituency behind a wall of phone-dialing robots. Politicians across this great land of ours have discovered the beauty of the tele-town hall, which allows them to pretend to interact with voters while sparing them the pain of actually talking with them. MORE »

Crazed baby-farming Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann has recruited a robot army to stand as a first line of defense between her and her increasingly disillusioned constituents. One voter writes of a chilling episode in which robots called him at home, promising to let him speak with the elusive President-groper, and then hung up on him before he got to ask his question. MORE »

Bush-groping FosterMILF was one of 11 congresspeople to vote against assuring the independence of inspectors general offices, a bill supported by nearly everyone else in Congress but staunchly opposed by Bush. No surprise there, right? Anyone who’s willingly made out with the president in public should probably be expected to support even his craziest notions. But then Bachmann decided she’d made a terrible mistake. Is the honeymoon over? Can Bush safely lift the restraining order? MORE »

After last January’s State of the Union address, Americans looked on in helpless horror as crazed Minnesota Congresswoman Michele Bachmann viciously assaulted the President, grabbing him, holding on to his back with a fierce death grip, and finally forcing him to kiss her. Now, according to the Bachmann, she’s done it again. And like all abusers, she insists her victim was asking for it. After the jump, courtesy WCCO and MN Publius, we have embedded audio of Michele telling a probably made-up story about the President coming on to her and planting one right on her at the scene, naturally, of the fucking 35W bridge collapse. That’s romance. MORE »

Michele Bachmann, congresswoman, baby-farmer, president-groper, is apparently not groping enough of her constituents these days. An impassioned letter to the St. Cloud Times back in her Minnesota district wonders why she’s forsaken them: MORE »

“It’s absolutely huge,” she said. “I turned to my colleagues and said there’s a commonality with the Mall of America, in that it’s on that proportion. There’s marble everywhere. The other thing I remarked about was there is water everywhere. He had man-made lakes all around his personal palace — one for fishing, one for boating.” [Eschaton]