• SCUZZLEBUTT QUITS NY-23 RACE! The communist liberal abortion-loving ACORN Stalinist (”moderate conservative”) Republican candidate in the NY-23 special congressional election, Scuzzlebutt, has dropped out only a few days before the election. She was sick of getting yelled at by wingnuts. More likely, though, is that the RNC applied severe pressure on her (”Just get your quit on, baby”) so it could claim a Conservative Party victory as its own. The possibilities for bipartisanship in Congress have never been better. [AP]

Oh man, this would piss the wingnuts off so much, and we wouldn’t blame them. Michael Steele, the animated .gif in charge of the Republican party, sees that his moderate conservative (communist) Republican candidate in the NY-23 special election, Scuzzlebutt, is losing by billions of percentage points to both the Democratic candidate and the “Conservative Party” dude to whom all the big-name wingnuts have been defecting. Time to call the POLITICO and hedge! “Steele argued during an interview with POLITICO that the GOP doesn’t need to worry about Scozzafava’s lagging ratings because Hoffman is essentially a Republican.” S’all good, baby. And yet, poor Scuzzlebutt! [Good Politico]

Perhaps the least hilarious of the hilarious things Michael Steele said in his interview with Univision was that the American health care system doesn’t need comprehensive reform — just a little “elbow grease.” Yes! Save the corrupt Medicare by passing a bill that bans prevents any aspect of Medicare from ever changing. These things, and more. But what did he have to say about the race card? MORE »

Another reporter plays the Steele Game and snags the guaranteed victory: Poor Michael Steele is so scarred from The GOP.Com Incident that he still thinks he is a “health care train”-destroying milk cow, from the streets. [TPM]

Is Michael Steele the new black male Michele Bachmann, minus the macabre, plus the sexy hobbit dancing? Yes, he is that exact equation. We dedicate this blog to him, for acting out so many harmless stage gimmicks every hour, to lift the American spirit. What did he say this time, on the teevee? Well, he now fancies himself to be a cow. MORE »

Two seconds ago this blog was called “What Up?” He is running out of Wire allusions and “the Corner” is already taken! GOP Webmaster, please add Michael Steele’s new “Change the Game” blog to “Accomplishments.” [GOP.com]

Michael Steele you have got to stop it with the funny today, we can’t take much more. NO NO DON’T GO ON TV! Oh no he’s going to say something too hilarious! Uh oh: “It’s a new platform for us. It’s not even really a web site.” No! A website is *exactly* what it is! This is too much. Let’s read some arbitrary news outlet to get away from all this, it doesn’t matter which… ah, New York Daily News, as good a choice as any, let’s see what’s in the ollll’ NYDN… “GOP Posts Password, Admin Instructions on New Web Site.” GAHH. [TPM, NYDN]

Yes. YES. Look at him shake it. He’s like, “What up? I’m here, and it’s time to party, baby.” Again: a hilarious dancing hobbit version of Michael Steele appears when you load the new GOP.com. Everyone is loving this. Think Progress is having a very Think Progress-y field day, with its dreaded flat tone of icy partisanship: “However, one of the people listed as a ‘great Republican’ is baseball legend Jackie Robinson, who actually identified himself as an independent. In fact, Robinson spoke out about the ‘hatred’ he saw at the 1964 GOP convention, where Barry Goldwater won the nomination. He called it ‘one of the most unforgettable and frightening experiences of my life.’” Holy potatoes, this is one fuckin’ website here. We’ll probably post about some other insane aspect of it in like an hour. [GOP.com]

Barbara Boxer sees Brad Woodhouse’s “Republicans = Taliban” and raises him a “Republicans, namely Michael Steele = Taliban + Hamas,” which is true, but not really because of Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize. MORE »

Michael Steele! It has been a full forty-five minutes since he has last tempted John Boehner to actually murder him. Things are quiet… too quiet. Back on The Streets when things were too quiet, this meant that one of the Street People had to make a move. You can bet your Boston Terrier that Michael Steele has internalized the Street Lessons. John Boehner would be a FOOL if for one second he really believed that Michael Steele considered the GOP’s threats to be hip OR hop, ho ho ho! Manifestly, that sort of arrogance would get him GUN-KILLED back on the Streets! Michael Steele’s hatred of John Boehner is literally the only possible explanation for Steele’s latest thing: publicly announcing how much he loves ACORN’s leader, despite, of course, despising the work that she does and everything she stands for. MORE »

Wacky RNC chairman Michael Steele, who is in very deep shit right now with the orange boner in charge of House Republicans, heard about all of those white coats from the American Medical Association — historically Republican allies against health care reform movements, until now, because things are just so terrible — showing up on Obama’s front lawn today, and proceeded to make his devastating move: “The AMA is–does not have the credibility on this health care issue, as they would like to project.” He will now write an op-ed for the Washington Post to introduce his latest alternative, which would order a government bureaucrat get between you and your lying so-called “doctor.” Michael Steele also said “poop” today, which was pretty cool. [The Hill]