Michael Steele was so enraged by RNC Chairman Michael Steele’s original endorsement of Scuzzlebutt, the Maoist “moderate Republican” candidate in the NY-23 special election, that he has killed that Michael Steele and invented a new Michael Steele to dress up and run around on television as. This Michael Steele despises any semblance of moderation and promises to go Stalin on those moderate motherfuckers he’d already selected to run in various 2010 races. Moo moo, baby, motherfuckin’ cow on the tracks, can’t catch me, I’m on fire… MORE »

• Sesame Street beefs on FOX? Oscar the Grouch lives in a trashcan because he is a dirty Maoist. [Gateway Pundit]
• Barack Obama > Moderate Democrats > Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table > Moderate Republicans > Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
• The best part of last night was when voters told the Gays they couldn’t get married. Remember the Maine! And suck a fat one, Rachel Maddow! [The Corner]
• A Hoffman poll watcher had his tires slashed by ACORN, but “local police are not willing to confirm it was a tire slashing.” Ha, typical! More foul play from the conniving Democrats. [RedState]
• “The GOP renaissance has begun,” said the cow blocking the train. “Moo.” [TPM]

Oh look: Michael Steele went on Lawrence O’Donnell’s Try To Make Everyone Laugh Using Just Your Clothing show. Lawrence O’Donnell’s like, “Michael Steele, on a scale from total failure to total failure, how would you rate your involvement in the NY-23 race?” Michael Steele, gloating and beaming as if his mouth has never met the words coming out of it, basically responds that it’s not like winning political races is a skill you can just study and perfect. But ho ho, sure Mr. Guy, you just yell if it makes you feel better about your own insecurities, an offering which Lawrence O’Donnell readily accepts. [TPM]

See, there’s TwitPic Proof that he was, at one point, answering one question on a Facebook thread. He has yet to respond to either of your editors. Try your luck! [Facebook]

Okay you guys, Michael Steele has been doing some Googling. No one panic. It’s just that, well, you’ve probably already heard about her, but… this Olympia Snowe lady? “I say, Welcome. Welcome. Each member of this party has a unique footprint. And it’s different from region to region. I can’t win in the Northeast with a candidate best suited for the South and vice-versa,” he said on teevee this morning, during which he disagreed with Tim Pawlenty’s criticism of Snowe’s liberal-ish proclivities. Oh but so anyway, because it is Michael Steele, his current M.O. is of course diametrically opposed to his public stance on this exact issue from ten months ago. MORE »

Michael Steele has something to ask all of you in “the Internet Land” (the bathroom): let’s get our win on, baby? “Donate your face… to the campaigns,” he adds, as Bob McDonnell and his evil children plot to destroy him from behind. [Rumproast]

• SCUZZLEBUTT QUITS NY-23 RACE! The communist liberal abortion-loving ACORN Stalinist (”moderate conservative”) Republican candidate in the NY-23 special congressional election, Scuzzlebutt, has dropped out only a few days before the election. She was sick of getting yelled at by wingnuts. More likely, though, is that the RNC applied severe pressure on her (”Just get your quit on, baby”) so it could claim a Conservative Party victory as its own. The possibilities for bipartisanship in Congress have never been better. [AP]

Oh man, this would piss the wingnuts off so much, and we wouldn’t blame them. Michael Steele, the animated .gif in charge of the Republican party, sees that his moderate conservative (communist) Republican candidate in the NY-23 special election, Scuzzlebutt, is losing by billions of percentage points to both the Democratic candidate and the “Conservative Party” dude to whom all the big-name wingnuts have been defecting. Time to call the POLITICO and hedge! “Steele argued during an interview with POLITICO that the GOP doesn’t need to worry about Scozzafava’s lagging ratings because Hoffman is essentially a Republican.” S’all good, baby. And yet, poor Scuzzlebutt! [Good Politico]

Perhaps the least hilarious of the hilarious things Michael Steele said in his interview with Univision was that the American health care system doesn’t need comprehensive reform — just a little “elbow grease.” Yes! Save the corrupt Medicare by passing a bill that bans prevents any aspect of Medicare from ever changing. These things, and more. But what did he have to say about the race card? MORE »

Another reporter plays the Steele Game and snags the guaranteed victory: Poor Michael Steele is so scarred from The GOP.Com Incident that he still thinks he is a “health care train”-destroying milk cow, from the streets. [TPM]

Is Michael Steele the new black male Michele Bachmann, minus the macabre, plus the sexy hobbit dancing? Yes, he is that exact equation. We dedicate this blog to him, for acting out so many harmless stage gimmicks every hour, to lift the American spirit. What did he say this time, on the teevee? Well, he now fancies himself to be a cow. MORE »