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Posts Tagged ‘michael steele’

EASILY MADE INTO DRINKING GAME

Wonkette Games: Let’s All Play The GOP’s New Friendship Quiz Together!

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

The RNC is considering making all Republican politicians take a ten-question Ronald Reagan-themed purity test! According to Daily Intel, “If someone disagrees with three or more of the policies, the resolution’s supporters want to withhold party money and endorsement. The 80 percent threshold comes from a famous Reagan quote: ‘The person who agrees with you 80 percent of the time is a friend and an ally — not a 20 percent traitor.’” Valid, but: Couldn’t Michael Steele have also, in theory, said those words in that order? So it’s unfair to call it a “Reagan” quote when, technically speaking, it’s potentially a Michael Steele quote. See, here’s your credit baby! Anyway, let’s play Michael Steele’s new politics quiz game, right now! MORE »


A MAN GOTTA HAVE A CODE

Michael Steele Will Just Fire Everyone Until He Feels He Has Gotten ‘Enough Credit’

Tuesday, November 24th, 2009

Whenever absolutely anything goes wrong, immediately fire the nearest communications director. This is a law, in our politics. It would follow, then, that Michael Steele would have already gone through all the communications directors on Earth, multiple times. Well! This recent RNC communications director, Trevor Francis, had only been at his job since March but lasted til yesterday, when Steele fired him to death because Steele was sad he, Michael Steele, did not receive “enough credit for the GOP’s electoral success earlier this month.” MORE »


AMERICA'S GREATEST WEBSITE

Look, A Well Produced Internet Video Game From GOP.com

Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

Have you all pored through today’s RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING? Eh, it’s pretty good; we’ll give it a 7 on the ol’ RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING Scale. So: Michael Steele invented a video game, according to the RNCRESEARCHBRIEFING: “‘The Senate version of lapdogs.GOP.com is our latest effort to hold these Democrats accountable for their actions.’ – RNC Chairman Michael Steele.” Great, let’s check it out. MORE »


WAGG THE BOG

Marco Rubio Downloads Sarah Palin’s Brain Torrent, And The RNC Goes Green

Wednesday, November 11th, 2009

Personality Parade!

In an effort to reduce its carbon footprint, the REPUBLICAN NATIONAL COMMITTEE has pledged to recycle smear campaigns and political spin! Yes, MICHAEL STEELE has finally done it! He’s bringing back all your favorites: “flip-flopper” … WILLIE HORTON … “cut and run” … “Why did the Democrats flip-flop and let Willie Horton cut and run?” This is an important question Michael Steele will inevitably ask in the days to come. MORE »


MOO MOO BABY

Steele Confirms That White Republicans (’Republicans’) Are Terrified Of Him

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Uh oh, you naughty man, Roland Martin, playing the devilish Steele Game again. In today’s edition of “How did Michael Steele take the bait this time,” the communist CNN contributor Roland Martin, in his side gig for a black people thing called NewsOne, interviewed the triumphant cow and dared put forth this snare: “One of the criticisms I’ve always had is Republicans — white Republicans — have been scared of black folks.” Yeah, ever come across anything like that, Michael Steele? MORE »


PURGEMASTERS

Meet The New, Very Violent Michael Steele

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

Michael Steele was so enraged by RNC Chairman Michael Steele’s original endorsement of Scuzzlebutt, the Maoist “moderate Republican” candidate in the NY-23 special election, that he has killed that Michael Steele and invented a new Michael Steele to dress up and run around on television as. This Michael Steele despises any semblance of moderation and promises to go Stalin on those moderate motherfuckers he’d already selected to run in various 2010 races. Moo moo, baby, motherfuckin’ cow on the tracks, can’t catch me, I’m on fire… MORE »


RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Yes, This Is What The ‘GOP Renaissance’ Looks Like

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
  • Sesame Street beefs on FOX? Oscar the Grouch lives in a trashcan because he is a dirty Maoist. [Gateway Pundit]
  • Barack Obama > Moderate Democrats > Barney Frank’s Dining Room Table > Moderate Republicans > Michael Steele. [Matt Yglesias]
  • The best part of last night was when voters told the Gays they couldn’t get married. Remember the Maine! And suck a fat one, Rachel Maddow! [The Corner]
  • A Hoffman poll watcher had his tires slashed by ACORN, but “local police are not willing to confirm it was a tire slashing.” Ha, typical! More foul play from the conniving Democrats. [RedState]
  • “The GOP renaissance has begun,” said the cow blocking the train. “Moo.” [TPM]

PRESUMABLE MALAPROPISMS

Why Is Lawrence O’Donnell Trying To Spoil Michael Steele’s Juice When It’s So Obvious He’s Not Going To Be Able To?

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009


Oh look: Michael Steele went on Lawrence O’Donnell’s Try To Make Everyone Laugh Using Just Your Clothing show. Lawrence O’Donnell’s like, “Michael Steele, on a scale from total failure to total failure, how would you rate your involvement in the NY-23 race?” Michael Steele, gloating and beaming as if his mouth has never met the words coming out of it, basically responds that it’s not like winning political races is a skill you can just study and perfect. But ho ho, sure Mr. Guy, you just yell if it makes you feel better about your own insecurities, an offering which Lawrence O’Donnell readily accepts. [TPM]


RARE OPPORTUNITIES

Michael Steele Is Taking Questions On Facebook, You Guys!

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

See, there’s TwitPic Proof that he was, at one point, answering one question on a Facebook thread. He has yet to respond to either of your editors. Try your luck! [Facebook]


CHANGING THE GAME

So For No Reason Michael Steele Loves Olympia Snowe Now?

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

Okay you guys, Michael Steele has been doing some Googling. No one panic. It’s just that, well, you’ve probably already heard about her, but… this Olympia Snowe lady? “I say, Welcome. Welcome. Each member of this party has a unique footprint. And it’s different from region to region. I can’t win in the Northeast with a candidate best suited for the South and vice-versa,” he said on teevee this morning, during which he disagreed with Tim Pawlenty’s criticism of Snowe’s liberal-ish proclivities. Oh but so anyway, because it is Michael Steele, his current M.O. is of course diametrically opposed to his public stance on this exact issue from ten months ago. MORE »


MOO MOO BABY

It’s Michael Steele’s GOTV Video Hooray

Tuesday, November 3rd, 2009

Michael Steele has something to ask all of you in “the Internet Land” (the bathroom): let’s get our win on, baby? “Donate your face… to the campaigns,” he adds, as Bob McDonnell and his evil children plot to destroy him from behind. [Rumproast]