Tag Archives: michael steele

  hot pix

Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In

Did you know that the first black chairman of the RNC was fired on Martin Luther King Day? We are not going to look it up, we are sure this chick Miranda was right about it, she seems like the kind of person who would be right about stuff. And even if Michael Steele, the first black chairman of the RNC, was not fired on Martin Luther King Day, it seems like the kind of thing the RNC would do, so we are just going to go with it. Did you also know that Michael Steele was not invited to participate in this Republican National Convention, like at all? We read that somewhere, it is probably also true. Him and Sarah Palin, man, the UNINVITED. Read more on Arianna Huffington’s ‘Oasis’ Lounge Is the Only Place In All Of Tampa That Will Let Michael Steele In…
  rumors on the internets

Your American Dreams Are A Virus Against America

Do you have dreams, Wonkette commenters? I totally had one the other night about–wait, you want news? Oh, fine. Turns out Kickstarter is even worse than we thought! According to this article, it is destroying the economy because everyone is following their dreams. Yes, really. [Slate] Read more on Your American Dreams Are A Virus Against America…
  the call is coming from inside the state!

Michael Steele Called Upon To Prove Some Republican Isn’t Racist

Irrepressible scamp and incidental former lieutenant governor of Maryland Michael Steele testified Thursday as a character witness for Paul Schurick, an adviser in former Maryland governor Bob Ehrlich’s failed 2010 gubernatorial campaign who is in trouble for allegedly putting together an election-day robocall effort to drive down black turnout in the race. Schurick lined up a two-day flood of character witnesses including Steele and others (taking all comers, obviously!) who will talk about, oh who knows, the winsome glint of his eyes under the harvest moon? His unimpeachable church-goingness? And God, and the Bible? Pretty much his defense is trying to convince the jury that Schurick only approved the robocalls on accident because look at how Michael Steele is black, and he sure does like Shurick! Case closed. And with respect to the roboscript in question, there has probably never been a more noble defense of the idea of participatory democracy. Read more on Michael Steele Called Upon To Prove Some Republican Isn’t Racist…
  hippity hop

Michael Steele Is Now Going To Wreck MSNBC

Michael Steele was (barely) chosen as the Republican Party chairman a few years ago as a response to Barack Obama’s election to the presidency. Not a political response, so much as an image-y kind of thing. It’s hard to remember now, but the trend in 2008-2009 was all about tall, dark and handsome men. Especially the “dark” part. But the Republicans only had creepy old goatee-man Alan Keyes and bald Maryland mediocrity Michael Steele to choose from, and what’s his name, the pizza man, hadn’t yet been born. (Herman Cain is a super baby, were you aware?) So they, the Republicans, picked Michael Steele to run the Republican party. And all the angry white old people promptly started their own Republican Party, but without the black people, and they called this the “Tea Party” (even though they mostly drank Sprite). Now Michael Steele has finished his work at the RNC, and is going to be a TV star with Rachel Maddow and … I don’t know anyone else on MSNBC. Conan O’Brien? Read more on Michael Steele Is Now Going To Wreck MSNBC…
  the olbermann replacement

Sad Michael Steele Pretending He’s About To Get Own Cable News Show

Will the lamestream media throw our dawg a bone? “We’re talking to everybody and anyone who has an interest in talking,” he said when asked if he is in serious negotiations with any specific channel at this point. “You know, I have obviously a long relationship with Fox. And you know, I have friends at CNN and MSNBC. So it’s a very dynamic opportunity and it’s one I’m hoping, you know, we’ll have an opportunity to move forward on.” […] Read more on Sad Michael Steele Pretending He’s About To Get Own Cable News Show…
  street beat

Michael Steele Shows Up To Gay Party, Discusses Having Sex With Sarah Palin

GOProud/Andrew Breitbart’s “Big Party” last night was the happening CPAC place to be, because it had an open bar, and because the people there were capable of not shouting about abortion to random strangers every five seconds. Also, your Wonkette caught up with its dawg, Michael Steele, who has opinions about Sarah Palin’s sexy body, apparently. That’s him in the photo, pictured with his newest intern, some kind of gelatinous pale monster head. Read more on Michael Steele Shows Up To Gay Party, Discusses Having Sex With Sarah Palin…
  just like caesar

We Made a Michael Steele Hamster Dance

Your editor is sort of drunk, and you know what? Commenter “simplyblue7″ is right: We have to give our Michael Steele GIFs and pictures and the man himself a fitting goodbye. So we will remember Michael Steele the way he would want to be remembered: We made a Hamster Dance. Scat scat scat. (Click through to see all the stupid pictures and to hear the music.) Read more on We Made a Michael Steele Hamster Dance…
  it's morning in america

Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election

The 168 members of the Republican National Committee will cast their secret ballots today to decide who gets to be the next RNC Chair, and exit polls already suggest that Michael Steele lost by a million secret racial slurs. Will the white lady from Missouri win? Or maybe the white guy with the funny name? It’s difficult to say, since all of the candidates who are not Michael Steele are white and love Ronald Reagan and machine gun deregulation. It’s a win-win-win-win-Michael Steele loses! You can probably follow Michael Steele’s Adventures in Unemployment at streetguy.blogspot.com. [AP/The Hill] Read more on Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election… Read more on Voter Turnout High, White At RNC Secret Ballot Election…
  idiots

Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books

Which pea-brained clown will become the new chairperson of the Republican National Committee? Whether it’s the dingbat woman dreaming of getting wasted at her kitchen table again or the lunkhead who just keeps barking “Reagan! Reagan!” when asked if he has ever read a book, all five of these mouth-breathing imbeciles are perfect representatives of America’s Political Elite, circa 2011. Read more on Republican National Committee Candidates Unfamiliar With Books…
  it's morning in america

Michael Steele Ready For First RNC Hip-Hop Poetry Slam Battle

Self-proclaimed “street guy” who also is “chairman of a country club political party” Michael Steele is expected to say all sorts of preposterous things during the first RNC spoken word debate this evening. And Michael is already mowing down the competition: Bunk-ass hater Gentry Collins, a former RNC political director best known for writing a rude letter about how dumb Michael Steele is, has already dropped out of the chairmanship race! This leaves a few weirdos from Missouri and Michigan to challenge Steele and his dismal fundraising numbers and overall incompetence. There’s gonna be some serious disrespecting tonight. Maybe we will liveblog this comedy? [The Hill] Read more on Michael Steele Ready For First RNC Hip-Hop Poetry Slam Battle… Read more on Michael Steele Ready For First RNC Hip-Hop Poetry Slam Battle…
  send in the clowns

Will ‘Reince Priebus’ Defeat Michael Steele As New GOP Jackass?

Many important nobodies from the nether regions of the GOP will compete to defeat superstar clown Michael Steele and become the new world champion RNC chairman. While the current crop of contenders lacks an actual slaveowner from South Carolina like the last time around, the 2011 contestants do all have extremely stupid names, such as “Reince Priebus,” whatever the hell that means. [Washington Post] Read more on Will ‘Reince Priebus’ Defeat Michael Steele As New GOP Jackass?…
  i do declare

Republicans Still Trying To Figure Out How To Get Rid of Michael Steele

Michael Steele ruined everything that is sacred about the God’s Own Party by running for re-election as chairman of the RNC, even though he is a silly individual who didn’t do a very good job. This leaves the party is still struggling to figure out how to get rid of him because he’s, well, one of those. Of course, many had played the trite card by assuming Steele would play “the race card,” because that is how all non-white people attain and keep their political power, surely. Someone named “Mr. Bopp” said this out loud, to pre-empt Steele’s THE RACE CARD, but Michael Steele called this man dumb, because, according to Michael Steele, Michael Steele is the reincarnation of Abraham Lincoln. Read more on Republicans Still Trying To Figure Out How To Get Rid of Michael Steele…
  it's morning in america

‘Street Guy’ Michael Steele Seeks Second Term

Michael Steele informed the Republican National Committee last night that he would seek a second term as RNC chair, causing committee members to choke on their mint juleps and then beat their Rentboys with riding crops as they whispered to themselves “that Negro!,” over and over and over again. Moments later, Steele appeared on Greta Van Susteren’s variety show, to explain why the Republican White Establishment hates him so dearly. “I’m much more of a street guy,” Michael said, meaning that he’s black. “The party needs to get outside its comfort zone.” Michael Steele is our favorite. [TPM] Read more on ‘Street Guy’ Michael Steele Seeks Second Term… Read more on ‘Street Guy’ Michael Steele Seeks Second Term…
  it's morning in america

Michael Steele Might Not Run For RNC Chair, Boo/Moo

Michael Steele is expected to announce whether he will run again for RNC Chair during a conference call with Committee Members this evening. Chris Cillizza has a sexy anonymous source that says Steele will definitely run, but Fox News analists insist he will do nothing of the sort. Most Americans are too preoccupied with being poor and sad to really care about what Michael Steele does, or if he still claims to be “a cow on the tracks, Moo.” But Comedy Connoisseurs will certainly be filled with grief if this delightful gaffe heifer were to surrender his chairmanship to some pasty white guy, who will probably be heinously boring and awful. Four more years (or whatever), please. [The Caucus/Fox/WaPo] Read more on Michael Steele Might Not Run For RNC Chair, Boo/Moo… Read more on Michael Steele Might Not Run For RNC Chair, Boo/Moo…
  saul of the wild?

Uh Oh, Michael Steele Gets a Challenger; Rap Battle Time!

Michael Steele no longer has free time to flash “gang signs” with interns. He now has an opponent running against him for his job: former Michigan Republican Party Chairman Saul Anuzis, who ran against him last time. “Awe, snaps!” Anyway, like Newell, we noticed something when we tabbed this story this morning: Anuzis’ blog is called “That’s Saul, Folks!,” which… c’mon, guy. This man will need a better blog-title pun than that, so we will help him out with some better options: Read more on Uh Oh, Michael Steele Gets a Challenger; Rap Battle Time!…
  but your lovin' don't pay my bills

Haley Barbour Will Buy the Republican Party, With Money

Oh, sad face, did you know that the Republican National Committee, which solely exists to raise money for Republican candidates, has no money? It had money at one point, we suppose, but somehow it let it all slip through its fingers, or maybe nobody was giving new money to it because Republicans don’t like giving money to black people like Michael Steele. Remember, even for the committee’s core expenditures, like lesbian bondage clubs, they needed some donor to front them the money, which they promised to totally pay back! Does this mean that the Republicans will lose big in November, because they have no money? Probably not! Read more on Haley Barbour Will Buy the Republican Party, With Money…
  that's like saying tacos aren't delicious oh wait

Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE

WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona’s immigration law is “not a reflection of an entire political party.” WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY ORTHODOXY, AND THAT ORTHODOXY SHALL BE DICTATED BY THE MOST EXTEME AND HATEFUL AND LOUDEST. Michael Steele obviously thought that Real Americans could not hear his words behind this Messican talking over him, but we must have sophisticated 21st-century technology that now has let our reporters hear the English that is being said. Read more on Michael Steele Says Not All Republicans Want To Racial-Profile Messicans, A HUGE GAFFE…
  fire pb&j

Michael Steele’s Top Priority: Sandwich Time

“Facing questions about whether he can win a second term as chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele boasted Friday that he has re-shaped the committee from an unwieldy top-down behemoth into an agile grassroots organization with a record of success.” Somebody finally told Michael Steele he should just say he’s done a good job, even if he’s actually fucking everything up. Also Michael Steele and the entire crowd wore red “FIRE PELOSI!” hats, a message Steele announced the GOP will be promoting in a “bus tour,” so it sounds like this was a fun time. But Michael Steele isn’t holding out hope for another term as RNC chair, because he’s too busy concentrating on trying to get that sandwich made the way he likes it. [Peter Hamby] Read more on Michael Steele’s Top Priority: Sandwich Time…
  always plotting against us

Michael Steele Is Receiving Ambassadors Now, Because He Is The Secret President

With the 2010 elections coming up and the Republicans poised to make real gains, fearless leader Michael Steele has hit upon a clever new strategy: talking to foreign diplomats, who can’t vote, can’t give money to U.S. election campaigns, and can’t be seen interfering in America’s internal political affairs, because their jobs require them to be “diplomatic.” This sort of outside-the-box thinking is exactly why Steele got the RNC job in the first place, and … wait, what? Prominent Republicans are upset about this? What the hell is wrong with them? Read more on Michael Steele Is Receiving Ambassadors Now, Because He Is The Secret President…