Tag Archives: michael mukasey

  Assholes on Parade

People Are Finally Going To Jail For Iraq War Crimes. No, Really!

Four Blackwater mercenaries were sentenced Monday for the 2007 massacre of 17 unarmed Iraqi civilians in Nisour Square, with three of the thugs getting 30-year sentences and their leader getting a full life in prison, which as of today makes them the only people to have gone to jail for the clusterfuck of horror that was the Iraq War. Small victory? It might have seemed like a slam dunk case for just about anyone who has ever even heard of the word “murder,” but would you like to learn all about how the Bush administration tried their absolute hardest to fuck it all up? Let’s Wonksplore. Read more on People Are Finally Going To Jail For Iraq War Crimes. No, Really!…
  medical news

Mukasey Just Had A Touch Of The Vapors

Well phew now everybody can just go back to mocking this guy for being a torture-lovin’ Bush sellout, because that scary incident where Michael Mukasey conked out in the middle of a speech did not signify a stroke or a heart attack or anything serious. He just had what a spokeswoman for the Department of Justice called “a fainting spell,” which is Republican code for “collapse due to oldness.” Read more on Mukasey Just Had A Touch Of The Vapors…
  painful to watch

Awful Video of AG Michael Mukasey Collapsing

Ugh. Why do we even post such things? Breaking News, etc., that’s why! So do us a favor, commenters, and try to control yourselves, show some class, &c., unless Mukasey has specifically done something personally horrible to you. We have no useful update, to this old dude just falling over and people shouting OH MY GOD JESUS CHRIST CALL SOMEBODY. He is in the hospital somewhere in/around Washington. Read more on Awful Video of AG Michael Mukasey Collapsing…
  breaking

RUH ROH: “Attorney General Michael Mukasey collapsed Thursday night while giving a speech to the Federalist Society in Washington, according to three senior administration officials… At 10:30 p.m. Eastern, medical officials were still working on him on the stage, administration witnesses said.” [Politico] Read more on …
  but they will get a strongly worded letter

THEY’RE MORE LIKE ‘GUIDELINES': Attorney General Michael Mukasey announced today that former Justice Department officials like Monica Goodling will not face prosecution for hiring D.O.J. staffers based explicitly on their political views — i.e. how many awesome things they could say about Alberto Gonzalez in 20-second lightning round interviews. Mukasey’s statement came replete with a classic Bush Administration sound bite: “not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime.” Ha ha, the top legal official in the country just said that “violation of the law” and “crime” are different. [AP] Read more on …
 

Bawling Mukasey Defends Spies, Calvinists

An emotionally fragile Attorney General Michael Mukasey addressed audiences at the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco yesterday and nearly wept at the thought of the American government having its precious spying freedoms taken away. He also observed that Muslims, and not followers of a strict Protestant religious sect, deserve the government’s hairy eyeball. Read more on Bawling Mukasey Defends Spies, Calvinists…
 

Nuh uh. You’re shitting me. The Department of Justice has opened a criminal investigation into the destruction of those CIA interrogation tapes? That means either (a) Michael Mukasey will be fired immediately for not living up to the Bush standards set by Alberto Gonzales or (b) he will conclude that the tapes were fine, a little waterboarding here and there, but that’s only torture when performed by Megan Carpentier. (Shudder). [Bloomberg] Read more on …
 

Things To Think About

Hillary’s numbers are dropping the closer voting gets. That obviously means she’s doomed. [Wizbang Politics] Don’t like your new adopted child? Send it back! [Michelle Malkin] Iowa likes underdogs, because, you know, who the fuck wants to live in Iowa. [Political Wire] Read more on Things To Think About…
 

There’s nothing we can add to this: “A magazine published by the American Bar Association on Wednesday named former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales its Lawyer of the Year for 2007 — mostly for creating so much controversial news.The ABA Journal also picked Attorney General Michael Mukasey — Gonzales’ successor — to be its lawyer of the year for 2008 because he has to deal with the problems left when Gonzales resigned under fire last fall.” [AP] Read more on …
 

Friday Fun With Icy Queen Dana Perino!

So you know how the CIA destroyed tapes of [fun and happy!] interrogations of al Qaeda operatives in 2005? Well some Demrats like Ted Kennedy and Dick Durbin having already called for Michael Mukasey to lead an investigation, which will obviously never happen. There’s a war going on, people! Anyway, the would-be scandal’s served White House Press Secretary Dana Perino another heaping pile of shit to eat in an already dense week, and she was the antithesis of informative today. The count for her most commonly used phrases today was: “I don’t know” — seven times; “decline to comment/not commenting” — 10 times; and “still gathering facts/gather the facts” — 11 times. So this little deletey situation should get cleared up right quick. [White House, NYT] Read more on Friday Fun With Icy Queen Dana Perino!…
 

Stephen King to Waterboard Jenna Bush

Suddenly-more-brilliant scary book author Stephen King is suggesting that a fellow member of the literati, Jenna Bush, undergo some “personal investigation” of waterboarding to determine for her father whether it’s torture or not. He mentioned this in a segment for Nightline, which he recounts in Time: “Someone in the Bush family should actually be waterboarded so they could report on it to George. I said, I didn’t think he would do it, but I suggested Jenna be waterboarded and then she could talk about whether or not she thought it was torture.” Oh Stephen, it’s not as easy as that! Waterboarding is torture some days, happy play time others. Our Attorney General can’t even decide if it’s torture, for Christ’s sake. [Time] Read more on Stephen King to Waterboard Jenna Bush…
 

Larry Craig’s Gay Blue Honda Reappears!

This week, Michael Mukasey, Larry Craig, Tim Russert, Jerry Rice, Marion Barry, and David Gregory were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. Read more on Larry Craig’s Gay Blue Honda Reappears!…
 

The Senate Judiciary Committee voted to advance Attorney General nominee Michael Mukasey to the Senate floor, where more Democrats will say “waterboarding is bad” and then probs vote for him. The vote was 11-8 after senators Chuck Schumer and Dianne Feinstein, the new Joey Liebs, supported the nomination. [CNN/AP] Read more on …
 

Ted Kennedy will oppose Michael Mukasey’s nomination for Attorney General; Bush, McCain and Lindsey Graham support him; Harry Reid and Chuck Shumer are unsure. Why not waterboard them all? [MSNBC]
 

‘Times': New AG Not Exactly RFK II

The Times urges us all not to be fooled. Mukasey may seem moderate but he loves the Patriot Act, detaining Muslims, and Claus von Bulow. And he’s backing Rudy for Prez. So before you get all happy with Mr. Nice New Attorney General ‘Won’t Thow Me in GItmo Forever’ keep in mind that he will still be Mr. Attorney General ‘Tapping All My Phones Without a Warrant.’ Read more on ‘Times': New AG Not Exactly RFK II…
 

Wingnuts Furious Over Bush’s Liberal New York AG Nominee

Guess who hates Bush’s compromise candidate for the vacant Attorney General job? Right-wing conservatives, that’s who! Let’s learn all the reasons Judge Michael Mukasey hates America: * He’s a New Yorker! What part of “New York ain’t America” is the White House not understanding? * Speaking of New York, guess who vetted this whole rotten thing? Chuck Schumer. Jesus christ, why didn’t Bush just dig up Stalin and have him pick the new communist Attorney General? * What did Ted Olson get for arguing the Bush v. Gore case before the Supreme Court? You know, the case that ended American Democracy and installed Bush Junior? Nothing, that’s what. Olson was supposed to get the AG gig because that’s how the mafia works. * In 1994, Mukasey sent an innocent Chinese couple back to China so they could be forced to have abortions. * And you realize this is the same Judge Mukasey who ruled in favor of Jose Padilla, who had some pretty vague ideas about one day trying to do something, which is why the Bush Administration put him in a dungeon and tortured him for years until Mukasey let him out so he could be tried in court and put in prison forever. MUKASEY=TRAITOR/NEVER FORGET! * He’s BFF with Rudy Giuliani, which means there are surely dozens of marriages/abortions/cross-dressing videos in his past. * A a right-wing Catholic group called Fidelis has assigned an albino monk to assassinate Mukasey, in the Louvre. Read more on Wingnuts Furious Over Bush’s Liberal New York AG Nominee…
 

Meet Mike

Meet our new Attorney General, Michael Mukasey — he is qualified because he presided over “The Case of The Blind Sheik,” which sounds totally awesome. It’s like an Arthur Conan Doyle story! Anyway he’s a 9/11 hero and hey, the Democrats will confirm him, so Bush is on tv right now looking totally pissy because he didn’t get to nominate Ted Olson like he wanted to. So Bush has now given up talking about Mukasey and is just talking about how much he loves Alberto Gonzales, “dear friend and trusted adviser.” He’s gonna miss Al. Quick little intro there! To recap: Read more on Meet Mike…