Tag Archives: michael moore

  good luck you mean dumb kids!

Some Dude Making Bristol Palin An Honest Woman. Molotov, Bristol Palin!

We come not to bury Bristol Palin, recently affianced betrothed of some guy, but to be really happy for her. Seriously! Not even kidding! Sure, she’s dumb and mean, and her Medal of Honor-winning soldier-person guy is also kind of dumb and mean (judging by this, where he is accidentally eye-fuc-ed by his new fiancee’s mom), but we have seen the men Bristol used to put her vagina on, and we wouldn’t wish them on … Bristol Palin. Read more on Some Dude Making Bristol Palin An Honest Woman. Molotov, Bristol Palin!…
  pee-drinkin' patriots

Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper

I see dead people.
Here’s a true story about Todd Starnes. Recently, I was at a party and mentioned that I was writing about Todd Starnes. The person I was talking to didn’t quite know who Todd Starnes was until I said, “People make jokes about him drinking pee on Twitter. Pee jokes guy. Big hat.” Then she was like “ohh, that guy! Yeah. That’s the only reason I know who he is. The pee jokes.” So good work everyone, I guess. Read more on Todd Starnes Has Some Thoughts On American Jesus We Mean American Sniper…
  Do You Love America Enough? You Probably Don't Love America Enough

Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein

And is India even grateful that we saved them from Saddam Hussein? No they are not.
In case you missed it, the latest litmus test for whether you Love America Enough is whether you are an enthusiastic supporter of the movie American Sniper, which you have to love or you are a hater. You see, Michael Moore said unkind things about the movie’s glorification of snipers, who are the kindest, bravest, warmest most wonderful Americans you’ve never seen because they are invisible like ninjas, and therefore The Entire Left hates America all over again, and now it is the sacred duty of all rightwing media to RAGESCREAM AT THE AMERICA HATERS WHO HATE CHRIS KYLE PERSONALLY AND ARE PISSING ON OUR BOYS’ GRAVES. Read more on Fox News Explains How American Snipers Saved India From Saddam Hussein…
  a model idiot

Toxic Xenophobe Michelle Malkin’s Twitchy: Still A Idiot (Updated!)

How is Michelle Malkin’s House for Runaway Dwarves With Syphilitic Brain Lesions furthering the cause of conservatism lately? Like this: “Rainn Wilson, Michael Moore cite Onion’s NRA-bashing parody.” In it, the unbylined “Twitchy staff” do a happy gleeful GOTCHA dance about liberal stupids. See, Michael Moore and Rainn Wilson tweeted out an Onion link — and the Onion is a parody website! MICHAEL MOORE AND RAINN WILSON GOT SO TRICKED WITH THEIR TINY DUMB BRAINS HAHAHAHAHA! Oh, wait, but is there anything in either Wilson’s or Moore’s tweet to suggest they didn’t know The Onion is a parody site? No? BECAUSE SHUT UP IS WHY. Read more on Toxic Xenophobe Michelle Malkin’s Twitchy: Still A Idiot (Updated!)…
  ken lay is rolling in his grave

A Children’s Treasury of Occupy Wall Street Photographs

#gallery-2 { margin: auto; } #gallery-2 .gallery-item { float: left; margin-top: 10px; text-align: center; width: 33%; } #gallery-2 img { border: 2px solid #cfcfcf; } #gallery-2 .gallery-caption { margin-left: 0; } /* see gallery_shortcode() in wp-includes/media.php */ Our freedom-fighting Wonkette operative KenLayIsAlive has been part of the Occupy Wall Street occupation since it began. Here’s a batch of his recent photos. Thank you, KenLayIsAlive!
  wonkette on the streets

Michael Moore and the Granny Peace Squad Occupy Wall Street

Hello friends! Your Occupy Wall Street correspondent spent the day familiarizing himself with the park-dwelling lifestyle (pro tip: poop at McDonald’s, not in your pants) and meeting the treacherous peaceniks that he will be spending an entire week with. Did you know that these “disorganized, godless pixies” are actually extremely intelligent and highly organized, and that they have a kitchen that serves three meals a day and a medical station that offers free medical assistance and a library with free book-learnin’? (A place where you can borrow books for reading, but no Netflix overnight shipping depot? Ha ha, just another example of “pantomime progressivism”!) Anyway, nobody got arrested today (as of 8:30pm), but there were lots of hot celebrities such as Michael Moore. And the Granny Peace Squad came and helped ruin America with us. You probably already know about the Granny Peace Squad, but are you familiar with Michael Moore? He is an old woman who wears a trashbag and talks smack about the 5-0. Videos after the jump! Read more on Michael Moore and the Granny Peace Squad Occupy Wall Street…
  that will be some new year's party

Michael Moore Posts Bail For Fellow America-Hater Julian Assange

WikiLeaks America-hater-droid Julian Assange has finally been released on bail for not wearing a condom while in Sweden or whatever, and his bail was paid in part by the less Internetty, more fattily American Julian Assange, Michael Moore. Assange now “must reside at Ellingham Hall, a Georgian mansion in Bungay, eastern England,” which would be a tough sentence for any criminal. Read more on Michael Moore Posts Bail For Fellow America-Hater Julian Assange…
  the horror

Watch The New Conservative ‘Spoof’ Movie Trailer!

Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube] Read more on Watch The New Conservative ‘Spoof’ Movie Trailer!…
 

Hey, Who’s That Lurking In The Background?

For anyone who has ever wondered just how much Michael Moore hates America, or how secretly Communist/totalitarian Barack Obama supporters are, one need look no further than a few key photographs culled from top-secret locations such as funerals and campaign headquarters. For example, did you know that the Muslim Hezbollahs worship at the feet of our fattest American director, Mr. Michael “Sicko” Moore? Read more on Hey, Who’s That Lurking In The Background?…
 

World’s Worst Contest

While we generally agree with the need for a national health plan like civilized countries tend to have, the following contest just announced on Michael Moore’s website sort of makes us want everybody in America to go ahead and get sick and die: Read more on World’s Worst Contest…
 

One Reason To Like Paul Wolfowitz

* “If they fuck with me or Shaha, I have enough on them to fuck them too.” [Guardian] * Howard Dean gets sued over one little “holding his ankles” joke. [No Agenda] * Marine Corps gets underage soldiers blackout drunk, wakes them up in Anbar. [Hit & Run] * Fred Thompson wants to send Michael Moore to a Cuban torture chamber. [Breitbart] * Ric Keller puts suckas in tears. [Central Florida Political Pulse] Read more on One Reason To Like Paul Wolfowitz…
 

Remainders: Why New Vegan Lunch Options on K St. Are a Bad Sign

New lobbying group, “Hybrid Owners of America” to demand unlimited access to smug attitudes. [Detroit News] “Driving while honky” soon to be an arrestable offence in the Midwest. [HuffPo] In Oregon, macaca isn’t a racial epithet – it’s just a guy. [Re-Elect George Allen! ] Read more on Remainders: Why New Vegan Lunch Options on K St. Are a Bad Sign…
 

Remainders: Irony is the New Gray

* In a simple twist of fate, Michael Moore may now begin funding anti-Michael Moore website MooreWatch, just so someone will pay attention to him. [The Mayor of Simpleton] * Apparently the Defense Department is okay with soldiers being gangsters, as long as they’re not having gang bangs. [Boozhy] Read more on Remainders: Irony is the New Gray…
 

WH Puts WP Against NYT

Earlier this week, Hotline pointed out that the WH press office has become a rapid response machine; they don’t issue press releases, they issue rebuttals. This, plus the desperate mean-spiritedness of their attacks on war critics — yesterday, Scott McClellan put 37-year Marine vet John Murtha in the “Michael Moore wing” of the Democratic party — prompted a story in today’s Washington Post cataloguing some the Bushie’s more venal accusations. Especially eye-catching was a quote from a lengthy White House press release castigating The New York Times; the administration apologized for going on so with what might be called the “nanny-nanny boo-boo” defense: “as parents of young children and dog owners know, it takes longer to clean up a mess than to make one.” Read more on WH Puts WP Against NYT…
 

Gossip Roundup: ‘Take a Deep Breath’

• Reliable Source: Matt Cooper: “It’s a good time to remember that rumors are not the same as indictments, and indictments are not the same as convictions,” he said. “So we should all just take a deep breath.” [WP] • Under the Dome: Allen (R-Va.) is a fan of both the White Sox and the Astros. . . Madeleine Albright had guest spot on “Gilmore Girls.” [The Hill] • Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Jim Moore and Wayne Slater, authors of “Bush‘s Brain,” are rushing out a fresh book on Rove. [NYDN] • Page Six: New book alleges Michael Moore is a “corporate criminal, environmental menace and racist union-buster.”. . . Clinton receives “custom-blended Chari-Tea from blonde tea maven” at a fundraiser. [NYP, NYP] • Cindy Adams: Geena Davis is on the cover of the next “Capitol File” magazine. . . Time is “readying stuff” on Bill Clinton in case Hillary runs in ’08. [NYP] • Rush & Molloy: Clinton might be a shopaholic. [NYDN] Read more on Gossip Roundup: ‘Take a Deep Breath’…