Here’s the trailer for An American Carol, which was first shown to the world on the O’Reilly Factor last night. Movie trailers rarely debut on Bill O’Reilly’s terrible show, but this is a conservative “spoof” movie starring the few Republican actors in Hollywood. The film’s target is the American Left as personified by Michael Moore, the fat clown no one has ever liked, except maybe 4-5 anonymous Internet commenters for a single week in 2003. The plot: Moore is trying to eliminate the Fourth of July holiday! But Gen. Frasier Crane simply cannot let him get away with this. The film is expected to gross $750 trillion dollars at the domestic box office.[YouTube]

For anyone who has ever wondered just how much Michael Moore hates America, or how secretly Communist/totalitarian Barack Obama supporters are, one need look no further than a few key photographs culled from top-secret locations such as funerals and campaign headquarters. For example, did you know that the Muslim Hezbollahs worship at the feet of our fattest American director, Mr. Michael “Sicko” Moore? MORE »

While we generally agree with the need for a national health plan like civilized countries tend to have, the following contest just announced on Michael Moore’s website sort of makes us want everybody in America to go ahead and get sick and die: MORE »

* “If they fuck with me or Shaha, I have enough on them to fuck them too.” [Guardian]
* Howard Dean gets sued over one little “holding his ankles” joke. [No Agenda]
* Marine Corps gets underage soldiers blackout drunk, wakes them up in Anbar. [Hit & Run]
* Fred Thompson wants to send Michael Moore to a Cuban torture chamber. [Breitbart]
* Ric Keller puts suckas in tears. [Central Florida Political Pulse]

• New lobbying group, “Hybrid Owners of America” to demand unlimited access to smug attitudes. [Detroit News]

• “Driving while honky” soon to be an arrestable offence in the Midwest. [HuffPo]
• In Oregon, macaca isn’t a racial epithet - it’s just a guy. [Re-Elect George Allen! ]
• Jim Saxton (R-NJ) can’t wait to pop a cap in some geese. [AP]
• Iraqi insurgent filmmakers praise Michael Moore, then go back to making bombs. [Reuters]

* In a simple twist of fate, Michael Moore may now begin funding anti-Michael Moore website MooreWatch, just so someone will pay attention to him. [The Mayor of Simpleton] MORE »

Earlier this week, Hotline pointed out that the WH press office has become a rapid response machine; they don’t issue press releases, they issue rebuttals. This, plus the desperate mean-spiritedness of their attacks on war critics — yesterday, Scott McClellan put 37-year Marine vet John Murtha in the “Michael Moore wing” of the Democratic party — prompted a story in today’s Washington Post cataloguing some the Bushie’s more venal accusations. Especially eye-catching was a quote from a lengthy White House press release castigating The New York Times; the administration apologized for going on so with what might be called the “nanny-nanny boo-boo” defense: “as parents of young children and dog owners know, it takes longer to clean up a mess than to make one.” MORE »

• Reliable Source: Matt Cooper: “It’s a good time to remember that rumors are not the same as indictments, and indictments are not the same as convictions,” he said. “So we should all just take a deep breath.” [WP]
• Under the Dome: Allen (R-Va.) is a fan of both the White Sox and the Astros. . . Madeleine Albright had guest spot on “Gilmore Girls.” [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Jim Moore and Wayne Slater, authors of “Bush’s Brain,” are rushing out a fresh book on Rove. [NYDN]
• Page Six: New book alleges Michael Moore is a “corporate criminal, environmental menace and racist union-buster.”. . . Clinton receives “custom-blended Chari-Tea from blonde tea maven” at a fundraiser. [NYP, NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Geena Davis is on the cover of the next “Capitol File” magazine. . . Time is “readying stuff” on Bill Clinton in case Hillary runs in ‘08. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Clinton might be a shopaholic. [NYDN]

• Washington Whispers: RNC distributed daily talking points to about 80 pundits and hosts to ensure message discipline about Roberts. . . Rumsfeld signed a “severe weather execution order” two weeks before Katrina that authorized the quick deployment of military personnel. . . Frist gets folksy, brags about practicing surgery on his teddy bear. . . Campbell Brown’s reports from the Gulf Coast have raised her chances of replacing Katie, Peter, or Dan. . . Don Evans broke his collarbone while biking with Bush. . . Michael Brown is looking for a job in public relations. [USN&WR]
• Inside the Beltway: Friedman, McCullough top lawmakers’ reading lists. [WT]
• Page Six: Michael Moore, Sean Penn helping Katrina relief. [NYP]

• Conspiracy theories that would bore Michael Moore.
• Jokes that have to be explained to anyone not already reading Daily Kos.
• Photoshop pranks that make the obvious literal.
• Offers for S0ft taabb v1ali$. Contradiction in terms, no?

• Under the Dome: Humane Society says lobbyists use cockfighting to raise money. . . Bork is against television coverage of confirmation hearings. . . Rep. John Lewis (D-Ga.) will honor journalists who advanced civil rights; Dan Rather, John Siegenthaler will attend. [The Hill]
• Inside Politics: Fonda cancels bus tour to avoid overshadowing Sheehan. [WT]
• Inside the Beltway: Pierce Brosnan on Bush: “This man called President Bush has a lot to answer for. I don’t know if this man is really taking care of America.”. . . Carville, Matalin sponsor Katrina-benefit run/walk. [WT]
• Rush & Molloy: Magic Johnson, Don Cheadle, Jay-Z criticize Bush’s handling of Katrina. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Clinton buys 15 pounds of candy. [NYDN]
• The Scoop: Michael Moore is reportedly “seriously considering” making a film about government’s response to Katrina. [MSNBC]