IT’S 9/11 + HALLOWEEN × INFINITY: Human oddity Michael Jackson is dead, according to a chain of increasingly reliable media outlets starting with TMZ and ending with Raw Story the New York Times. (Just kidding, it’s only TMZ and some blogs. The LA Times says he’s in a coma … and NOW he’s officially deceased.) Michael Jackson was 50 and just acted hella weird all the time. [Every News Outlet For The Next Week]

“He may be homeless, wandering, carting around three school-aged kids, but Michael Jackson has a new friend: former imprisoned crack addict and Washington, D.C., Mayor Marion Barry. And that’s good in a way, because he is being sued by an old friend, Prince Abdullah of Bahrain.” [FoxNews]

We’ve all been wondering where Cheney would seek exile, and today the answer was delivered: Dubai. MORE »

• Heard on the Hill: Tom DeLay leaves campaign voicemails on behalf of Mark Ellmore. He says that as Majority Leader, he “battled Jim Moran in Congress for 14 years,” and “recently re-registered to vote in Northern California.” [Roll Call]

• Rush & Molloy: George Soros “downright courtly toward the Bushies” at Monday’s party for his book “The Age of Fallibility.” [NYDN]
• Page Six: Spike Lee and Ground Zero memorial architect Michael Arad will talk tonight as part of a campaign against political apathy. The campaign begs to be ignored with the title: “Generation Engage.” [NYP]
• FOX411: FOX411 reports that Michael Jackson hopes to profit from 9/11 charity CD. While you’re at the FOX site, visit their Michael Jackson Celebrity Center. [Fox]

• Heard on the Hill: A freelance photographer has been sneaking into the Senate Photo Studio. . . Rep. Adam Putnam (R-Fla.) catches a 360-pound shark. . . Chuck Norris meets his biggest fan, the Senate elevator operator. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Glenn Close visits the Hill to save wild animals. . . Sen. Chuck Hagel (R-Neb.) is reaching out to the Polish-American vote. [The Hill]
• Rush & Molloy: National Enquirer uncovers photos of Rep. Patrick Kennedy dressed up as Michael Jackson. . . Rupert Murdoch on raising funds for Hillary: “It’s not a million-dollar raising. It’s got nothing to do with anything other than her Senate re-election.” [NYDN]
• Inside the Beltway: C-SPAN will add the major cities in congressional districts to their lower-third graphics. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Laurie Dhue wins a free trip to Jordan at a party for Queen Rania. . . Ralph Nader gets a form letter response from Bill Clinton. [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: What about a Gore-Clinton ticket? [NYP]

Abortion, shmabortion: Dana Milbank ferrets out the truly significant documents from John Roberts’s tour in the Reagan White House: a series of memoes on whether the Gipper should have composed a series of PR missives honoring Michael Jackson for (among other things) a PSA campaign against drunk driving, and donating 400 seats at a 1986 Washington performance to “needy youngsters.” Milbank quotes a typically outraged Roberts memo advising the rejection of the latter request: MORE »

• Larry King befuddled by purpose of Blackberrys. Aren’t we all. [Media Village via TVNewser] MORE »