Wonkette

* Heard on the Hill: Ranking Republican on the House Transportation Committee throws a tantrum over not getting a good seat at a meeting, makes all the Republicans leave… Rep. Adam Putnam, who is 12 years old, is serving reporters lots of orange juice… House Dems decide to stop calling first-termers “freshmen.” [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: White House Social Secretary Lea Berman is stepping down… What was the deal with the Baby Einstein lady at the SOTU? … Clinton BFF Stephen Spielberg is hosting a fundraiser for Barack Obama. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: No one mentioned that poor Michael J. Fox attended the SOTU… Susan Sarandon in being a big hippie shocker… Jack Abramoff’s restaurant Signatures reopened as D’Acqua on Tuesday. [Examiner]
* Under the Dome: Don’t ride an elevator with Rep. Joseph Crowley unless you want him to start singing at you. It happened to Jane Harman, it can happen to you too… Lincoln Chaffee found a job! [The Hill]
* Shenanigans: Bob Ney’s caricature is still on the wall at The Palm. [Politico]

According to a Wonkette operative who heard this from two different sources, Republican Senator Kit Bond is going to bail on the Hill and become Chief Lord of the University of Missouri.

In a dastardly move that won’t change the Balance of Power (unless it also involves somebody sneaking into Tim Johnson’s hospital room), Republican and Missourah Guv Matt Blunt will do a Dick Cheney and appoint himself to the Senate seat.

More rumors and a funny picture, after the jump.

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• Rick Santorum has decided he doesn’t want Pennsylvania’s tax dollars used to finance genocide anymore. [The Carpetbagger Report]

• And he also thinks George Bush is a big “soft on terror” pussy. [The Swamp]
• Bill Maher’s Halloween costume: almost as original as his show. [Shakespeare's Sister]
• Michael J. Fox’s lust for baby harvesting causes at least 6 people to drop Back to the Future from their Netflix queues. [Pandagon]
• Osama’s dead, or in Djibouti. [The Jawa Report]
• David Letterman channels a time when he was funnier, meaner than Bill O’Reilly. [Power, Seduction, and War, C&L]
• Wolf Blitzer has more than just a brown nose. [Whiskey Bar]

It’s like Different Strokes Family Ties all over again, but this time the witty Republican son is, uhm, a retired Democrat actor with a terrible disease that can only be cured by harvesting white Christian babies. MORE »

We always knew Michael J. Fox was basically in league with the Devil — Mojo Nixon described Fox as “the evil opposite of Elvis, the Anti-Elvis” — but who knew Jesus Christ himself would be coming down to help Rush Limbaugh save the innocent stem cells. MORE »

Dear YouTube user ding1999, MORE »