Wonkette

While Michael Hayden and the “Terrorist Buster” give the CIA a pretty face before congressional appropriations hearings, the real American intelligence community answers to a dog named Zoltan. MORE »

Politics is 99% image, the other half is kissing babies. Jim Ramstad knows that and his top-down-screaming-out, “money ain’t a thing” lifestyle is letting you know he’s skipping the 8th step — no apologies. Michael Hayden isn’t apologizing either, he likes the European futbol and doesn’t give a damn if it’s the 4th of July. Mike Piazza’s not running for anything but he knows the voters love the Magnum P.I. style, and Bill Bennett’s not running either, but he probably should start, for his health.

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Spotted this week were some damn fine Americans, with a whole lot of shiny metal at home on their mantels. Mia Hamm has her World Cup trophies, Anderson Cooper has his Emmy, Michael Hayden has all that weird military stuff on his shirt, and Jimmy Carter has that thing they call a Nobel. Not everyone can be number one, though, so just enjoy what you can — like Donald Rumsfeld and his juicy steaks, or Antonin Scalia and his fancy car. Feed your need for life envy; there are lots more people richer than you. Check out the sightings, after the jump.

Oh, and intern season is here! It sure is great that just as soon as the laminate dries on their cute little “109th Congress Intern” badges, they’re off and sending us tips. Act like an intern and send in your own via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and the name of the fancy pants you spotted. We won’t pay you anything, just like real interns!

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• FEC decides to permit 527s to continue as is, meaning “even larger sums to be spent influencing races this year and in 2008.” [WP, NYT]
• Bush essentially had no choice but to join talks on Iran. [NYT, WP, W$J]
• Bush says he’s “troubled” by news of civilian killings in Haditha, Iraq: “If, in fact, the laws were broken, there will be punishment.” [NYT]
• Homeland Security Department cuts funding for Washington and New York while boosting support for mid-size cities. [WP, NYT]
• Sen. Hillary Clinton launches Senate campaign with broad swipes at the administration: “I believe that we need a fundamentally new direction. . . We are better than what is happening in America today.” [NYT]

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* This is how the world will end, not with a bang, but a clank, and the thump of a pneumatic hammer on an elevator. We’re relieved that no one was hurt, but it sure was exciting covering all the action. Er, whatever it is that passes for action. In the end, the biggest danger of the day was the risk of some soiled gabardine, but even that was averted. MORE »

Happy Memorial Day! Depending on whether the CAPITOL HILL MAYBE SHOOTING can keep our interest much longer, we at Wonkette will probably be taking the rest of the day off. But our nation’s cartoonists don’t have that option — news can break any time, and it’s not going to take cheap, easy shots at itself, you know.

So, as we do every Friday, we’ve brought in the Comics Curmudgeon to comb through Today’s Cartoons and analyze them for your amusement. Corruption, intelligence, controversy, and dead guys, after the jump.

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Michael Hayden has been confirmed! Holy shit! This Friday is FULL OF SURPRISES! MORE »

• FBI and Justice Department officials, including Alberto Gonzales, defend search of Rep. William Jefferson’s (D-La.) office; Speaker Hastert talks to Bush. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Gen. Michael Hayden wins over the Senate intelligence committee; full Senate could confirm his nomination to lead the CIA by Thursday. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
• Chertoff contends the U.S. is prepared for hurricane season but skepticism remains. [WP]
• Reaching a compromise over immigration will be a challenge for the House and Senate; Bush urged to apply his “full energy into the effort.” [WP, LAT]
• Veterans Affairs Department waited two weeks before alerting authorities about data loss. [NYT, USAT]
• Critics see recent spending bill for Iraq and Katrina “as a monumental example of earmarking taken to extremes.” [WP]

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* The Senate confirmation hearings for soon-to-be CIA Director Michael Hayden began this week. In the great tradition of the adult film industry, there will be two versions of the hearing; one for cable and one for pay-per-view, er, Senate Members’ Ears Only. We were actually pretty relieved that the hardcore hearings were closed, that shit was long enough. Finally, the denouement: he’s an idiot. MORE »

• At his confirmation hearing, Gen. Michael Hayden deflects specifics, defends NSA wiretapping, distances himself from Pentagon brass, and urges a focus on the future of the CIA: “It’s time to move past what seems to me to be an endless picking apart of the archaeology of every past intelligence success or failure.” [WP, NYT, NYT, WSJ]
• Senate votes 63 to 34 to make English the “national language”; vote continues “the conservative turn that a major overhaul of the nation’s immigration laws has taken since the Senate began debate this week.” [WP, NYT]
• Judiciary Committee approves constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage; Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) says “good riddance” to Sen. Russ Feingold (D-Wis.), who replies, “See ya.” [WP]
• Bush in Arizona: “It makes sense to use fencing along the border in key locations in order to do our job. We’re in the process of making our border the most technologically advanced border in the world.” [NYT, WSJ]
• BellSouth seeks a retraction from USA Today for “the false and unsubstantiated statements” about NSA phone logs. [WSJ]

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