Ex-California state assemblyman Mike “Sticky Carpets” Duvall — more commonly known as The Cum Goblin — has something to say regarding his resignation yesterday, which came after a video was published of him bragging to a fellow legislator about having hot hot sex with various lobbyists, all the time, spanking them, spilling semen everywhere, playing them off of each other, etc etc: “I want to make it clear that my decision to resign is in no way an admission that I had an affair or affairs. My offense was engaging in inappropriate story-telling and I regret my language and choice of words.” Oh, Cum Goblin. [Mike Duvall]

Another victim felled by the Internets, it seems: Republican California legislator Mike “Sticky Carpets” Duvall has resigned freaking already, for being disgusting. The statement on his website: “I am deeply saddened that my inappropriate comments have become a major distraction for my colleagues in the Assembly, who are working hard on the very serious problems facing our state. I have come to the conclusion that it would not be fair to my family, my constituents or to my friends on both sides of the aisle to remain in office. Therefore, I have decided to resign my office, effective immediately, so that the Assembly can get back to work.” And I can get back to fuckin’! Oh man, what a bummer. We hadn’t nearly exhausted the nickname possibilities for Mike “Jizz Raptor” Duvall yet. [Duvall for Assembly]

Republican Michael D. Duvall, a California state assemblyman representing Orange County, loves family values and ethics, and thus is a member of the Rules Committee. Another thing he loves is pussy. He enjoys telling his assembly buddies about all of the sweet, sweet non-wife trim he gets on the side, with lobbyist gals. Unfortunately, open mics sometimes catch these conversations. If you want to see what this 54-year-old has to say about cum, click the clicky! MORE »