Wonkette

Bored with work? Still despondent over our nation’s shaming by Ghana? Your choices for free entertainment today include: MORE »

We spent a bit of time trawling through Michael Brown’s email for that definitive piece of evidence that would exonerate him (it was the one-armed man who didn’t rescue those couple hundred black people, seriously!), but we never found anything this good.

CNN is hedging their bets re. its authenticity, but it supposedly comes from a “good friend” of Brown’s and the President’s (right, right). Assuming it’s real, we’d be happy to hear your guesses as to the sender’s identity. But that’s a pretty big assumption, considering that all we have to go on is a very clean-looking and conveniently redacted .pdf. Wait, look, we found another email!

It’s got a big Situation Room stamp on it! It has to be authentic! Wolf Blitzer’s personal seal of approval — look for it on all your sensitive and politically damning correspondence. MORE »

“Hey Mr. Secretary, want some free sneakers? These babies have your name written all over ‘em.”

This morning we complained that Senators get the best symbolic gifts. And the trend continues: Greenpeace just gave them free sneakers! Something to do with “running away” from chemical facilities.

Yes, we’ve fallen for their p.r. campaign hook, line, and sinker. But we’re suckers for pretty pictures — and Greenpeace gave us plenty of ‘em.

Check out the photos, plus the press release (yawn), after the jump.

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From HRC’s Senate reelection page:

Hill, you work in DC. Like two blocks away from Chertoff! You could just tell him personally. MORE »

• FBI and Justice Department officials, including Alberto Gonzales, defend search of Rep. William Jefferson’s (D-La.) office; Speaker Hastert talks to Bush. [WP, NYT, LAT]
• Gen. Michael Hayden wins over the Senate intelligence committee; full Senate could confirm his nomination to lead the CIA by Thursday. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]
• Chertoff contends the U.S. is prepared for hurricane season but skepticism remains. [WP]
• Reaching a compromise over immigration will be a challenge for the House and Senate; Bush urged to apply his “full energy into the effort.” [WP, LAT]
• Veterans Affairs Department waited two weeks before alerting authorities about data loss. [NYT, USAT]
• Critics see recent spending bill for Iraq and Katrina “as a monumental example of earmarking taken to extremes.” [WP]

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Today’s Wonk’d — the second this week, after Tuesday’s bonus installment — catches the famous-for-DC and famous-for-famous acting like shrinking violets. Both Wolf Blitzer and Dave Chappelle sidestep admirers, while Tiki Barber and James Carville embrace the zeitgeist.

Arlen Specter and Chris Matthews can’t be bothered to acknowledge anyone. But Michael Chertoff is approachable, and America’s Next Top Model hangs out at DC’s current yuppie café. Read on! Ask where to find the celebritocracy, and we provide the answers!

Tipsters, you are the lifeblood of Wonk’d. Please keep sending all of your palpitating tips to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted famous entity). Muchas gracias!

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Photos, as always, by Liz Gorman.

We figured it out: if one open bar = good Washington party, an endless succession of open bars over the course of the entire night = the best Washington party. The rest of it’s just window dressing. Trust us.

Having clipped on our bow tie and slipped into our scuffed patent leather shoes, we went down to the Hilton a little after 6. The red carpet was out, with camera crews set up on one side and a couple dozen disposable camera-wielding gawkers behind a vinyl barrier. If they had bothered to rent a tux, they could’ve just sidestepped the divider and sauntered on into the receptions, as no one bothers to check names until the dinner actually starts. Once we got past the bank of photogs, we were confronted by the black-clad Reuters models for the first of what would be many times — eager to generate a little last-minute buzz, they’d decked out a couple models in black Reuters t-shirts and armed them with drink menus (as seen here last week). That might’ve been a bit too tacky for the crowd, as we can’t remember if anyone we know actually went to the Reuters “mixology lab” or whatever the hell it was called. The full reception report, after the jump.

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* Bush’s meeting with Chinese President Hu Jintao was heavy on symbolism, light on substance; Bush apologized for heckling. [WP, WP, NYT, WSJ, USAT]
* Bush, Jintao disagree about the dynamic of their relationship; “The mood was friendly, yet the tension was unmistakable.” [WP, NYT]
* Harriet Miers might be lost in the next phase of the White House shuffle; Tony Snow is “in negotiations” for McClellan’s post. [NYT]
* Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee raised more than double its GOP counterpart in this quarter; RNC, meanwhile, beat the DNC by a 1.9 to 1 ratio. [WP]
* Republican leaders plan to hit the ground running when they return from break; “41 percent of those polled said Congress has accomplished less than usual.” [WP]
* Democratic candidates are trying to use rising gas prices to their advantage. [NYT, WSJ]
* Rumsfeld dismisses critics as being against much-needed reform. [NYT]
* Chertoff compares crackdown against illegal immigrants to shutdown of the mob. [NYT]
* Case against AIPAC lobbyists concerns lobbyists and journalists. Professor: “The chilling effect could become glacial for anybody who is engaged in basic lobbying research or simply doing research or writing stories on national security issues.” [WP]
* Negroponte reveals that about 100,000 people are involved in intelligence operations around the world. [NYT]

Springtime in the city, and everybody is out grubbing. This week in Wonk’d finds Bill Clinton, feasting like a king, er, president; Justice Samuel Alito, chowing like it was his constitutional right; and Michael Chertoff, securing some risotto. Also spotted: Steve Carell, filming a new movie; Tom Brokaw, picking up some workout threads; and Grover Norquist, doing the shimmy-shimmy-shake. All this and more, of course, after the jump.

Loyal readers, you have supplied us with a bounty of celebrity sightings this week. Take advantage of the warm season, and go out and spot more people that may or may not want to be spotted. Then send the info to us via email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line (along with the name of the spotted celeb). Thanks!

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* Administration officials believe Americans are missing the good news from Iraq; disconnect has reduced the credibility of Bush and Republicans, say strategists. Bush: “In the face of continued reports about killings and reprisals, I understand how some Americans have had their confidence shaken. Others look at the violence they see each night on their television screens and they wonder how I can remain so optimistic about the prospects of success in Iraq. They wonder what I see that they don’t.” [WP, NYT]
* Years of rosy rhetoric about Iraq has complicated Bush’s attempts rally support for the military mission. [WP]
* Bush defends Iraq war in “feisty” question-and-answer session. [USAT]
* Churches push the legal boundaries of political organizing. [NYT]
* Ken Mehlman, Michael Chertoff, Chuck Hagel woo the organized labor vote. [NYT]
* House candidates who served in Iraq strain to talk about issues other than the war. [WP]
* Bob Woodward’s 2002 book alluded to NSA eavesdropping. [WP]