Today is New York City's "Poem in Your Pocket Day," the most elitist holiday in America (besides San Francisco on any given Friday). And the latest America's Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has penned a glorious poem for his pocket in celebration. It is called "Press Conference," and the gist of it is that Press Conferences are terrible. It rhymes too! How post-postmodern.
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Even though Barack Obama took New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg out to breakfast a few months ago, gave a big fancy speech about Alexander Hamilton in Bloomberg's back yard, and not-so-subtly hinted that he would appreciate at least a steak dinner in exchange for the reacharound, Bloomberg still refuses to go steady with Obama.
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Pint-sized billionaire New York mayor Michael Bloomberg once occupied a special place in the hearts of the American electorate. Richer than Mitt Romney, more wee than Dennis Kucinich, he was our lucky leprechaun who would visit a new era of peace and prosperity upon this wounded nation. And then John McCain started gaining in the polls and people said, “Hey, maybe that curmudgeonly tax-and-spend warmonger ain’t so bad after all.”
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ONLY OPINIONLESS BLOOMBERG CAN SAVE WHITE HOUSE: In a shocking move, the INDEPENDENCES at Unity08 have given up on whatever democracy they were fake promoting. They plan on shutting down the Unity08 site and reinventing it as a… Draft Bloomberg site! PECULIAR CHOICE. [NY Daily News]
The New York Times live-blogged Bloomberg’s jury duty appearance for 15 minutes, then lost interest and stopped; possibly a metaphor for coverage of his not-really-a-campaign campaign. [NYT]
Bloomberg News reports that Michael Bloomberg, billionaire mayor of New York and owner of Bloomberg news, will probably not win the presidency but will use his potential high-profile run to draw attention to issues like the environment, education, and being a smug health nazi.
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Maybe-candidate Mike Bloomberg is Jewish, but it doesn’t seem to be a big deal to him, because the richest people in the world are seldom too concerned with Identity Politics or religion or whatever the rest of you people worry about. That’s the word form the Jewish Daily Forward (another media property allegedly controlled by the Jews):
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Mike Bloomberg, the least entertaining mayor of New York since Abe Beame, has been grabbing headlines all week with the following tried-and-true strategies:
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We are pretty close to giving super-billionaire Michael Bloomberg one of our coveted Wonkette Presidential Endorsements because he basically just called all the candidates a bunch of fear-mongering wusses.
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The Politico devotes a couple hundred inches to Mike Bloomberg for some reason today. They love him, you know, but it’s a shame he’ll never be president. On account of the Jew thing.
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The NRA’s already having a pretty bad week, so how about everyone pile on and accuse it of anti-Semitism?After Diane Cardwell of The Times wrote about a National Rifle Association magazine’s broadside aimed at Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg and his gun proposals, a reader raised an issue about the image on the cover (at right), showing the Jewish mayor as an octopus.More »
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