WASHINGTON, DC, 04:13 PM, SUN JULY 5 | Advertise on Wonkette | tips@wonkette.com | SUBMIT A TIP | RSS

Posts Tagged ‘michael bloomberg’

POLITICAL AFFILIATIONS

Monday, June 8th, 2009

Green Party Communist Lesbian Furry.HE BELONGS TO THE ‘RE-ELECT MAYOR BLOOMBERG’ PARTY, OF COURSE: Nobody in New York knows which political party the chameleon plutocrat Michael Bloomberg belongs to, perhaps because he has slutted around with every party short of the LaRouchies. At various points Mayor Bloomberg has been registered as a Democrat and then as a Republican; these days he votes as a proud Green Party Communist Lesbian Furry, which is to say, an “independent.” [City Room]


DRAFT IMPEACHMENT PAPERS

Michael Bloomberg Not Told About Obama’s Secret ‘Other’ 9/11

Monday, April 27th, 2009

Remember when Barack Obama made 9/11 happen again with one of his “backup” Air Force Ones, just so a few schmucks could get tourist snapshots of such famous New York sights as the Muslim president crashing into the Statue of Liberty? Well no one even told Michael Bloomberg, the mayoral sprite of New York City, and he is furious! “Furious!” Barack Obama is the worst president in American history. [Clusterstock]


NEVER FORGET

Mayor Bloomberg Attacked By Filthy Weather Rat

Monday, February 2nd, 2009

'Don't drive angry!'According to ancient tradition, the Staten Island Groundhog bit Mayor Michael Bloomberg today, guaranteeing another six years of brutal financial collapse. Charles G. Hogg (R-Staten Island) attacked the New York mayor during a satanic ritual held each February 2 in opposition to the Christian celebration of Groundhog Day, in the Amish hamlet of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. MORE »


JUST ANNOUNCE DAMNIT

Obama Appears To Have Selected Some Mysterious Centrist

Thursday, August 21st, 2008

IT'S JACK KEMPAs we wait for the wicked nasty response ad about Rezko and Ayers that the McCain team is surely splicing together right now, let’s “read” some tea leaves: “CHICAGO - Barack Obama says he’s decided on a running mate, but he won’t say who. The Democratic presidential candidate told USA Today on Thursday that he went with someone who is independent and would challenge him in the White House. He also said he wanted someone who is prepared to be president and would help him strengthen the economy.” He’s so weird. Why would anyone want a vice president that would “challenge” him? Sounds like a pain in the rear. But that aside, this obviously changes everything we ever knew about the veepstakes and really everything else too. MORE »


MAVERICK MOVES

Will John McCain Select Known Abortionist Tom Ridge As His Vice President?

Thursday, August 14th, 2008

A fine fellow, when he's not loving abortion all the time.Maverick John McCain is at it again, sticking his finger in the eye of the Republican establishment by saying he wouldn’t rule out a pro-choice running mate. Two names came to mind — Tom Ridge and Michael Bloomberg — and in a recent interview with the Weekly Standard McCain strained to point out that Ridge was far more appealing because he only loved abortions, not both abortions and The Gays. MORE »


NEW YORK

Michael Bloomberg’s A Sociopath

Monday, May 12th, 2008


We forgot, do we like Michael Bloomberg or not? What’s the line on this guy, now that he’s not annoyingly running for president anymore? Although he’s no Bill O’Reilly, Bloomberg certainly has his pet peeves, the biggest of which is the world “maintain.” That word does not transcend race, at all. [YouTube via NY Observer]


PRESS

Mike Bloomberg Writes Existentialist Poem About Tragedy of Fame

Wednesday, April 16th, 2008

Today is New York City’s “Poem in Your Pocket Day,” the most elitist holiday in America (besides San Francisco on any given Friday). And the latest America’s Mayor, Michael Bloomberg, has penned a glorious poem for his pocket in celebration. It is called “Press Conference,” and the gist of it is that Press Conferences are terrible. It rhymes too! How post-postmodern. MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Coy Bloomberg Still Won’t Admit He Hearts Obama

Friday, March 28th, 2008

He feels too muchEven though Barack Obama took New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg out to breakfast a few months ago, gave a big fancy speech about Alexander Hamilton in Bloomberg’s back yard, and not-so-subtly hinted that he would appreciate at least a steak dinner in exchange for the reacharound, Bloomberg still refuses to go steady with Obama. MORE »


MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

Sad Bloombergians Pursue Doomed Enterprise

Monday, February 4th, 2008

Farewell, America's sweetheart!Pint-sized billionaire New York mayor Michael Bloomberg once occupied a special place in the hearts of the American electorate. Richer than Mitt Romney, more wee than Dennis Kucinich, he was our lucky leprechaun who would visit a new era of peace and prosperity upon this wounded nation. And then John McCain started gaining in the polls and people said, “Hey, maybe that curmudgeonly tax-and-spend warmonger ain’t so bad after all.” MORE »


MICHAEL BLOOMBERG

Thursday, January 10th, 2008

ONLY OPINIONLESS BLOOMBERG CAN SAVE WHITE HOUSE: In a shocking move, the INDEPENDENCES at Unity08 have given up on whatever democracy they were fake promoting. They plan on shutting down the Unity08 site and reinventing it as a… Draft Bloomberg site! PECULIAR CHOICE. [NY Daily News]


HILLARY CLINTON

Bloomberg Fan Shits on Clinton, Trannies, Self

Monday, November 5th, 2007

This video, posted on Daily Motion by user “bloombergwhitehouse.org” (still under construction), says that George W. Bush and Hillary Clinton are the same person. But it has a nice little tune in the background. Let’s see what medium the folks at DraftGore.com and ColbertForSouthCarolina.com will choose to satisfy themselves next. MORE »