Tag: michael bloomberg

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 2, 2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!
He gets cranky when he has the sniffles

Pity Poor Donald Trump, Who Is Tweeting His Impotent, Thin-Skinned Rage At Hillary’s DNC

All is well with the world, the sun is shining, and Donald Trump is crying his baby rage in 140 characters or fewer.

Ross Douthat Hopes GOP Convention Will Save GOP From Terrifying Trump Monster

Oh god, what must it be like to be a self-styled moderate Republican writing for the New York Times right now? In another era, you'd have been to the manor born, but instead you are required to bang out...
Oh good, more opinions from this guy.

Ted Nugent Knows Jews Are The Real Nazi Holocaust-Doers, Because Obviously

It is a day, which means somewhere in the recent past, or maybe right this second if he's awake, NRA board member Ted Nugent has been spotted doing public bigotry of some sort. Now, far be it from us...
Mayor Bloomberg

Batrillionaire Michael Bloomberg Might Like To Buy New House That Is White

You've probably been wondering if former mayor of New York Michael Bloomberg has found himself a new gig yet. Which is really stupid of you, because he has so many dozens of billions of dollars, he could buy and sell...
RIP

NRA Dude Identifies Real Charleston Shooter. Surprise, It Was The Black Pastor!

We have only begun to graze the tip of the iceberg when it comes to obscene, disgusting wingnut reactions to the Charleston mass murder that ended the lives of 9 black churchgoers, aged from 26 to 87, on Wednesday night....
Take a nap on your own time

NYPD Cops So Sad At Mayor De Blasio They Just Can’t Fight Crime Anymore

It's a great week to jaywalk or jump turnstiles in New York City, as cops have pretty much decided to stop being cops at all until Mayor Bill de Blasio disowns his black son or at least makes him...
An armed society of intelligent cats is a polite society of intelligent cats.

Clip & Save! Your Handy Wonkette Review Of (Part Of) Dana Loesch’s New ‘Book’

We were planning to review for your enjoyment Amazon’s free preview of Dana Loesch’s new book-like substance, Hands Off My Gun, because who doesn’t want to spend a nice afternoon slogging through a piece of writing that is one...

George W. Bush Probably Too Busy Clearing Brush To Attend 9/11 Memorial Museum. Thanks Obama!

You might have noticed some news about the dedication of a museum honoring an American history event, a little thing hardly worth mentioning called 9/11. Bamz, who wasn't doing anything else today, so whatevs, roused himself to tour the museum,...

Jon Stewart Allows Commie Mayor Bill De Blasio To Talk Like A Screaming Socialist

On Monday's The Daily Show, Jon Stewart welcomes notorious communist New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, who calmly and politely lays out his terrifying socialist agenda for the city: equal justice and opportunity, in the form of an end...

Mayor Bloomberg On Homeless Children: Sometimes God’s Just Sort Of A Dick Like That

So we have all read the New York Times story about homelessness in New York, yes? And we have all cried for the smart, tough little girl named Dasani, who lives in a "520-square-foot room with her parents and...

Gun Fondlers Just Want Equal Time At Aurora Victims’ Ceremony To Remember The Poor Confiscated Guns

A pro-gun group plans to hold a demonstration in favor of the 2nd Amendment in the same suburban Denver park where a remembrance will be held for victims of the Aurora theater shootings, which occurred one year ago today....

Actress Prepares For Ground-Breaking New Role: Inmate In Federal Prison

Hey Wonkstaffel, are you sad and depressed from all the awful news lately about BENGHAZI!!!!1!!! and the IRS and how President Barry spends his evenings in the White House personally reviewing your ISP activity logs and cackling at the...

Never Fear, Arkansas, Your Democrat Senator Will Never Come Between You And Getting Murdered With A Gun

Since it has been about 5 months since the President was inaugurated, it is about 4.5 months past time for the 2014 election season to heat up, because this town runs on scandal, protests, and never-ending electioning. Who’s opening...

New York Tyrant Mayor Michael Bloomberg Joins ‘Dangerous Kooks Sent Me Poison, For Freedom’ Club

Well, let's see who's getting letters stuffed with poison this week! The newest inductee in the House of the Ricin Sons is New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who was sent two letters containing a "pink-orange oily substance," according to...

Nation’s Most Obese State Passes ‘New York Sux’ Bill, RC Cola & Moon Pie Stocks Rebound

So, simply because enough fucking people are not already TALKING ABOUT THE GODDAMN SODAS, here is this thing: Mississippi's legislature has overwhelmingly passed and sent to Governor Lardstick McGoober a bill that will explicitly ban any municipality from discouraging...