michael bennet
Michael Bennet Edges Out Boy-Rancher Ken Buck In Colorado
Colorado’s amiable, reasonable fellow Michael Bennet has won himself a full term in the Senate, according to The Denver Post, denying the Teabagger Caucus yet another member in the Senate. Ken Buck obviously gave his state a lot of great reasons to vote for him, from not knowing the First Amendment to not prosecuting rape [...]
Michael Bennet Resorts To Child Labor, Kidnapping Old Woman
This video was e-mailed to us by a frightened child calling herself “Halina Bennet.” She told us she and her siblings put this video together exposing the cruel child-labor practices Sen. Michael Bennet has forced upon them in his campaign. Shameful.
We Will Liveblog Tonight Until America Hurts From Too Much Freedom
Important primaries are happening right now in Georgia, Connecticut, Minnesota and Colorado, which are states that have little in common except that their voting robots all decided today was the day to provide sham “primary elections” to their states’ non-lizard-people. Will human vanilla bean Sen. Michael Bennet be able to hold off his challenger Andrew [...]
Dick Wadhams Hovers Over Colorado Primary
Primaries today in Colorado and other, less amusing states, like Georgia and whatever. In addition to the nonstop comedy Colorado has already provided us, there is an exciting new scandal: a big ol’ story in the New York Times described a money-losing scheme Senator Michael Bennet got involved in while Denver’s superintendent of schools, with [...]
Andrew Romanoff Sells House To Fund Campaign, Hopes To Be America’s First Homeless Senator
Colorado Democrat Andrew Romanoff is having trouble raising money for his Senate primary campaign against Sen. Michael Bennet, so he decided to go the “desperate homeless man making bad decisions” route, as he sold his house and gave to his campaign the $325,000 he got out of it. “I’m never home anyway,” Romanoff said. And [...]
Michael Bennet’s New Ad Features His Cute Young Children, For Some Reason
It’s tough to figure out the message Sen. Michael Bennet is trying to get across in this new ad. As far as we can tell, there are two equally legitimate options: either his young children are well-respected economic and political titans with lengthy, important publishing records which give undeniable weight to their endorsements, or — [...]
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