Pretty sure diarrhea doesn't make you talk goofy.
Donald Trump is the worst leader ever. Sad. Weak. Embarrassing. Also it is your OPEN THREAD.
Someone please send him to charm school.
Russia has been busy in Not American Internets, climate change gives Scott Pruitt a sad, and Ted Cruz's peener is tweeting. Your morning news brief.
Houston is underwater, Rex Tillerson throws some shade, and Charlottesville neo-Nazis get arrested. Your morning news brief!
Trump literally defends Nazis, special elections results are in, and Baltimore topples Confederate statues. Your morning news brief!
Trump STILL doesn't understand the nuclear triad, James O'Keefe shoots himself (again), and Benghazi's back (again). Your morning news brief!
Donald Trump Jr. kind of admits a crime, TrumpCare still won't flush, and the GOP wants MORE guns in DC. Your morning news brief.
Trump's lawyer thinks you should ignore his tweets, John Ossoff's race is getting dirty, and Megyn Kelly is MEAN to Alex Jones. Your morning news brief!
Today we are all Pope Francis. And today, we are all former Mexican President Vicente Fox! Today we are also your OPEN THREAD!
Robert Mueller get all up in Trump's business, Mike Flynn drops a felony in the Oval Office, and Roger Ailes died. Huh. Your morning news brief!
They asked for a WALL, not a stupid FENCE. Or an OPEN THREAD.
Trump so tired of the Washington rat race, Facebook tries to clean up its mess, and Hannity is screaming about the end of times. Your morning news brief!
Trump takes the Senate on a field trip, Jesse Watters takes a long trip down a short road, and Jason Chaffetz has a boo boo. Your morning news brief!
Nobody wants to pay for Trump's wall, Hannity got hands-on, the late-night news wars have begun! Your morning news brief!
OH NO The Democrats Shut Down The Government! In The Future! Say Liars And Idiots And Donald Trump! (Redundant!)
Let's not negotiate with a hostage taker.