Tag Archives: mexico

  Hide yr dergs!

Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!

DON'T BELIEVE HIM BO.
You know that thing during the Super Bowl, where there is the Puppy Bowl for all the girls and homosexuals who are only there for the spiked punch? And know how, as per Mike Huckabee, Obama is doing the REAL HOLOCAUST to Israel, by making a deal to keep Iran nuke-free? Well, apparently Obama’s got time for a puppy Holocaust for Allah, during the commercial breaks of the real Holocaust, according to wingnut radio host Michael Savage, who we actually didn’t know still existed: Read more on Oh No, Barack Obama Is Going To Do The Puppy Holocaust Now, For Allah!…
  He'll make Mexico great again too!

Donald Trump Risks His Life To Yell At Messicans

Listen up, you Messico losers!
The Donald already knows everything there is to know about everything, including Mexico. That’s where they make all the rapists and the drugs and the murderers too, and also the Donald Trump piñatas. And when he is president, he is going to build a YOOOOOOOGE fence around it, and it will be made of gold and say TRUMP and it will be so fuckin’ classy, you don’t even know. Read more on Donald Trump Risks His Life To Yell At Messicans…
  Cantaloupe calves

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

Olé!
What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you hear the name “Steve King” is “Most Likely To Be So Mexican,” because that’s what’s true: Read more on Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King…
  Lube sold separately

Hey, GOP, If You Love Donald Trump So Much, You Can Shove Him Up Your Butthole

Now you can have an authentic Donald Trump experience in your own home
Do you love Donald Trump SOOOO much you’d gay-marry him and his totally not fake hair, if that weren’t a gross abomination? If you are a Republican, probably yes! (But without the gay marriage, obvs; you’d just anonymously blow him in a truck stop glory hole, then go home to your lovely wife.) Turns out, Republicans are falling madly in love with Trump, on the real: Read more on Hey, GOP, If You Love Donald Trump So Much, You Can Shove Him Up Your Butthole…
  Hes a Ficus Conservative

Democratic Plant Donald Trump Is Not Democratic Plant, Says Donald Trump

They can't all be masterpieces. Or any of them.
Serious Presidential Contender Donald Trump (we almost typed that with a straight face … almost) angrily denied suggestions that he was a secret Democratic operative loosed on the 2016 Republican field to make the party look stupid. For one thing, with Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Jeb! Bush, and several thousand other candidates, the field needed no extra help. Specifically, Trump took issue with Florida Republican congresstroll Carlos Curbelo’s recent suggestion that maybe, just maybe, Trump might be a stealth Democrat. Curbelo, who supports Jeb! Bush, said in a recent radio interview: Read more on Democratic Plant Donald Trump Is Not Democratic Plant, Says Donald Trump…
  Trick question they both lose

Who Would Win In A Cage Fight Between Donald Trump And El Chapo?

Oooooooops, accidentally picked on somebody bigger than him.
Ooh ooh ooh! Donald Trump seems to have pissed off an ACTUAL Mexican crime-lord, and it is the biggest one of all: Sinaloa cartel leader Joaquín “El Chapo” Guzmán, who recently pulled off ANOTHER insane escape from prison, involving a tunnel that started in the shower in his jail cell and ended up almost a mile away in a house under construction. (Wonder if he had help!) Read more on Who Would Win In A Cage Fight Between Donald Trump And El Chapo?…
  A Really Smart Person

Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe

Feel free to take a swing too
The Great American Hairball, Donald Trump, reportedly offered an amusing variation this weekend on his longstanding view that the Iraq War was a huge, not-classy mistake. At a meeting of the conservative Hollywood group “Friends of Abe” (Lincoln, not Vigoda), Trump explained what George W. Bush got wrong in the years after 9/11, according to LA Weekly: Read more on Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe…
  Won't somebody think of the younglings?

The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free

Welcome back, folks! It’s time again for the Snake Oil Bulletin, your weekly guide for all the hottest tips and tricks to feng shui your crystals into an alignment more conducive for your chakral energy surges. Y’know, bullshit. We’ve got a full collection of stories to cover so let’s dive right in. Read more on The Snake Oil Bulletin: Anti-Vaxxer Death Squads Will Set Us Free…
  Wonkette movie review

A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell

Donald Trump has become persona non grata among decent people these days, because he said Mexican immigrants are “bringing drugs, they’re bringing crime, they’re rapists.” Sure, he allowed that some Mexicans are just the sweetest, except for the rape. Thursday, former Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer affirmed that she thinks Trump is completely right, that illegal immigration is out of control, and that the desert in Arizona is literally impassable these days, due to all the headless corpses. However, underneath xenophobic, racist, hateful, broad-brushing, nativist remarks like these, is there a grain of truth? Is there a story to be told here? Did you idiots even watch “Breaking Bad”? Read more on A Story About Mexican Drug Violence Donald Trump Is Too Weak To Tell…
  the drug-crimers too

All The Mexican Rapists Will Vote For Donald Trump, Says Noted Idiot Donald Trump

Donald Trump has the hottest O face of all the O faces, all the other O faces are weak.
Remember how Donald Trump says Mexican immigrants are druggy rapists from hell, but also that some of them are very nice? And remember how he hires undocumented immigrants to build his shitty-looking hotels for people with no taste? Well the first thing, according to Trump!, is true, but the second thing is a big lie, you big dumb stupid idiot. But none of that matters, because you know who loves Donald Trump so much they just can’t stand it? Those sweet, kind-hearted Mexican rapists and druggers. And if Trump gets the Republican nomination, he’s going to win ALL the Latinos, because they just won’t be able to help themselves. He said these idiot words to NBC News: Read more on All The Mexican Rapists Will Vote For Donald Trump, Says Noted Idiot Donald Trump…
  These People Have Lots Of Problems

Well Of Course Undocumented Immigrants Are Helping Build Donald Trump’s New DC Hotel

That pinata gets around
How’s this for a shocker? Turns out that there’s a whole bunch of immigrant construction workers — some in America legally, some here illegally, and some who crossed the border illegally and then got legal status — who are building Donald Trump’s newest luxury hotel in Washington DC. Imagine that! And they’re kind of pissed that the guy who ultimately pays for their services is so intent on insisting that illegal immigrants are largely a bunch of violent rapers who have been sent by the Mexican government to sap and impurify our precious bodily fluids. Read more on Well Of Course Undocumented Immigrants Are Helping Build Donald Trump’s New DC Hotel…
  If You Strike Him Down He'll Become More Powerful Than You Could Possibly Imagine

Donald Trump Fires Macy’s For Letting Mexican Rapists Into America

Gonna buy Mexico too probably
Trumpendammerung 2015 continues today, as Macy’s becomes the latest of the Great White Shart’s branding associates to say “Adios, puto!” After Trump’s assertion that Mexico is “sending” a whole bunch of rapists and murderers and, he assumes, “some good people” across the border, it’s as if the Trump magic has worn off, and a whole bunch of businesses have sleepily rubbed the gold-leaf fairy dust out of their eyes, wondering why they ever hooked up with that asshole in the first place. And now, all the gold accents in the world won’t help Trump, because nobody likes gilt by association. Read more on Donald Trump Fires Macy’s For Letting Mexican Rapists Into America…
  How do you say "fuck off" in Spanish?

Donald Trump Has To Sue Univision Now, Because It Acted Too Mexican At Him

Fox forgot to put scare quotes around
Hilariously egotistical ass Donald “I’m Donald Trump!” Trump, who thinks he is running for president, has run into a little problem. You see, he made some dumbass comments a while back about how he’s the only “candidate” qualified to solve our immigration problem, by building a YOOOOOGE fence, because DONALD TRUMP IS THE BEST AT FENCES. Also, the Mexicans will have to pay for the fence, because “they have really ripped this country off.” Donald Trump knows he can make them pay for it, because Donald Trump is the best at getting people to give him pesos. He doesn’t hate Mexicans, though! It’s just the way they come to America and act all Mexican-like, is all. Read more on Donald Trump Has To Sue Univision Now, Because It Acted Too Mexican At Him…
  how to secede without really trying

Texas Separatists Find New Freedom-Loving President: Vladimir Putin

And don't let Oklahoma hit your ass on the way out
Turns out there’s a heck of a lot of support for Texas secession. Not so much in Texas — where, despite all Rick Perry’s talk of skedaddling, only about 18 percent of residents wanted to secede in 2009 — but in Russia, where there’s at least a lot of rhetorical support for Texas’s becoming America’s first Breakaway Republic. You sort of have to read Casey Michel’s wonderfully weird piece in Politico Magazine to believe it. Read more on Texas Separatists Find New Freedom-Loving President: Vladimir Putin…
  Show us on the doll where Obama touched Lady Liberty

Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse

Are your kids safer with Josh Duggar or with THIS GUY?
Pollsters are hilarious sometimes. Talking Points Memo has the results of a new poll from Public Policy Polling, asking people which do they like better:  The Duggar family, kid-touching and all, or Barack Obama? You will be so shocked to find out that a full 67% of folks who voted for Mitt Romney in 2012 still like the Duggars better than Obama, whereas 87% of Obama voters think Obama is better than kid-touchers and the people who cover for them. THERE’S YOUR PARTISAN DIVIDE, AMERICA. Read more on Wingnuts: Sure, Josh Duggar Molested Kids, But Barack Obama Molested America Way Worse…
  But no camps!

Texas Happy To Let Obama Invade With FEMA Now Please

Don't fall for it, Texas! Drowning is better than federal tyranny!
Here’s President Barack Obama explaining Tuesday that he’s ready to direct federal aid to Texas, which has suffered deadly flooding since the weekend, with more rain and flash flooding on the way. At least 31 people have died in storms that have hit Oklahoma, Texas, and Mexico, and 13 people are still missing. Strangely, almost nobody in Texas is refusing the offer of federal aid, with the possible exception of keyboard warriors like “Liberty Prime,” whose comment on the YouTube video above is simply “Us texans don’t want you here obama!!!!” Read more on Texas Happy To Let Obama Invade With FEMA Now Please…