Tag: mexicans

Listen up, you Messico losers!

Donald Trump Risks His Life To Yell At Messicans

The Donald already knows everything there is to know about everything, including Mexico. That's where they make all the rapists and the drugs and the murderers too, and also the Donald Trump piñatas. And when he is president, he...

Donald Trump Has YOOOOOOGE, Beautiful Plan To Elect Hillary Clinton President

Recently, Donald "I am Donald Trump!" Trump had to reassure everyone that no, he is not a secret Democratic operative, playing in the GOP primary for the purposes of making all the other candidates eat each other alive and...
Olé!

Rep. Steve King Is Most Mexicanest Person Alive, Says Rep. Steve King

What comes to mind when you think of Iowa Rep. Steve King? Racist? Wingnut? Asshole? Dumb as a knapsack full of syphilitic fucks? Well you are wrong, because the only thing that should come into your mind when you...
Saved by the blood of Tough Guy Jesus.

Wingnut Fox Pastor: Jesus Wasn’t Some Mexican-Loving, Sunflower Seed-Munching Pussy

Sunday's "Fox & Friends" featured a discussion on illegal immigration (something new and different), and the focus was on churches doing that whole bleeding heart "when I was hungry, you fed me" thing with illegals, as opposed to immediately calling authorities and...

Why Isn’t Donald Trump Yelling At These Orthodox Jews?

A group of Orthodox Jews based out of New York City decided that too much sodomy was harmful to their precious children, so they hired a group of Mexican day laborers and dressed them up like rabbis to protest...
Can't imagine why Mexicans would be pissed off at him.

Donald Trump Bans Mean Spanishes From Fancy-Pants Miami Resort

Amidst the PURE APPLESAUCE and INTERPRETIVE JIGGERY POKERY of last week's marriage and Obamacare news, you might have missed the very important story of how Donald Trump is being forced to sue Univision, because it was mean to him and decided...
Fox forgot to put scare quotes around "candidate."

Donald Trump Has To Sue Univision Now, Because It Acted Too Mexican At Him

Hilariously egotistical ass Donald "I'm Donald Trump!" Trump, who thinks he is running for president, has run into a little problem. You see, he made some dumbass comments a while back about how he's the only "candidate" qualified to...

TripAdvisor Reviews From Your Racist Uncle

It's my birthday next week, and I started thinking about day trips my husband can take me on, since there will be no "Life, The Universe And Everything" parties or Pan-Galactic Gargleblasters in my immediate future. I was soon in...
He's in charge here

Republicans Suing Obama Again, This Time About The Mexicans

Some days we almost feel sorry for John Boehner, what with having to herd the feral cat farm that is the House Republican caucus while simultaneously convincing the Beltway’s Very Serious People that he, too, is a Very Serious...
The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report, Presented by Fartknocker

The Sarah Palin Fartknocker Report: Why’s Obama Letting Immigrant Terrorists Ebola Us To Death?

In the last seven days, the Sarah Palin Channel has published exactly nine minutes and twenty-eight seconds of content. Three minutes of that total is "Behind the Scenes" reels, one of which centers on Sarah going to a barn in...

South Carolina Restaurant To Illegal Aliens: ‘Eat Me’

Hey South Carolina Messican restaurant Taco Cid, what's got staffers in heelarious uniforms featuring Messicans getting trapped in boxes like animals by aid of a taco lure, are you sorry that everyone in the country except other racists thinks...

GOP Source: Mitt Romney Threw ‘Tantrum’ At Univision ‘Brownface’ Forum

Oh, man. We were already aware that Egg Romney simply does not care for backtalk from The Help, and that Miffed Romney may not be great under pressure (or ever?). And Miffed Romney hasn't had a good day we...

Mitt’s Mexican Family: In Which The Mormons Accidentally Start Shooting Up The Cartels

No beheadings again this time! We are beginning to think Vice frontloaded their seven-part series! Parts One, Two, and Three.

Mitt Romney Dons Brownface For Forum With Mexicans

Mitt Romney saw some Mexicans yesterday, at a Univision forum where he said "Illegal aliens" and all of Twitter got judgmental, as if saying "undocumented immigrants" was going to win Mitt points with his base, who are currently wondering...

RNC Delegate Offended That a ‘Mexican’ Works at Epcot Center’s America

Aw, look at this nice picture of Mark Harris and his wife, who had a nice time in Florida until they went to the Epcot Center at Disneyworld and were shocked, shocked, to find a Mexican employee working at...

Mitt Romney Will Now Explain Why Implementing The Dream Act Hurts The Dream Act

It is hard to be Mitt Romney trying to decide what he wants people to think he believes about immigration. He has to strike just the right note: not alienating Latino voters while being totally and constantly bug-eyed, Jan...