Tag Archives: mexicans

  the 9/11 of taxes

Illegal Aliens From Space (Mexico) Pay More Taxes Than G.E.

Hi friends! Just checking in to let you know that undocumented immigrants paid an estimated $11.2 billion in local taxes last year — that’s $11.2 billion more than G.E. forked over, even though General Electric is a documented corporation that makes billions and billions of dollars! (Gawd it must be so sexy being a gelatinous corporate monster that doesn’t have to pay taxes, cuz you literally own our sad, sad, sad country.) Ergo: THE BROWN TACO DEMONS WHO DON’T SPEAK AMERICAN PAY MORE TAXES THAN G.E. And so do hopeless college students who earn negative $80,000 every year, because of Sallie Mae loan scams! Even if you haven’t paid your taxes yet — we haven’t! — you have still paid more taxes than G.E., since they received a tax benefit of $3.2 billion. Ha-ha, time for another visit to the liquor store. Read more on Illegal Aliens From Space (Mexico) Pay More Taxes Than G.E….
  by they time they get to phoenix

Tea Party Announces National Conference In … Arizona, Obviously

Delightful news, America: Even though Arizona has been shunned by conferences and business travelers and entertainers and tourists with money ever since the “Arrest all the Brown People” law and that insane sheriff in Phoenix with his ritual torture/humiliation of suspected Latinos his goons capture in daylight raids, and even though the rest of the nation can’t even think of “Arizona” this month without shuddering over the lunacy of heavily armed mental cases hunting humans at the strip malls, the “Tea Party Patriots” just announced they’re going to have a very special anniversary/first national convention in beautiful Phoenix, AZ! Let’s enjoy the promotional YouTube, from which the above image was captured. Read more on Tea Party Announces National Conference In … Arizona, Obviously…
  guess he doesn't want dishwashing help

D.C. Bar Wants You To Know It Hates Mexicans

Why does Adams Morgan bar The Black Squirrel have a current-affairs blog? And why does it, in between posts about sports, get political in a city where its customers are very political? The Messicans made them do it. Read more on D.C. Bar Wants You To Know It Hates Mexicans…
  just broke your computer sorry

Here Is Jared Loughner’s Horrifying Mugshot

This is going to make it a lot harder for Arizona’s elected officials to say Mexicans are scarier than this fellow, even if he did go to the Tom Delay School of Mugshot Glee. [Some Twitter thing] Read more on Here Is Jared Loughner’s Horrifying Mugshot…
  white flight

House Passes DREAM Act, Which Will Kill All White People

The House passed the DREAM Act last night for some reason, even though it will certainly be filibustered in the Senate. But that’s not a knock on it. The House should feel free to pass stuff they think the Senate will filibuster. It seems like they may finally no longer be afraid of that giant smoke monster that has kept them from passing things to which Republicans could possibly object. And they’re only what, a couple of months too late for that to make any difference in keeping power in the House? So what does the DREAM Act do? It will make “Taco Fixin’s” our official language. It will force all white scooter people onto a death march to Canada. And it will abduct Andrew, our little racist pundit mascot, and give him brown skin-grafts until he is a brown person. Read more on House Passes DREAM Act, Which Will Kill All White People…
  we have a winner

Texas Legislator Camps Out To Be First To File Clone Arizona Immigration Bill

State Rep. and terror-baby aficionado Debbie Riddle of Texas camped out in a folding chair in front of the legislative clerk’s office yesterday to make sure she was the first (OF MANY! USA! USA! USA!) to introduce a version of Arizona’s racial-profiling immigration law into her grand state’s legislature. This is an interesting new tactic for state lawmakers. Sure, everyone knows it’s cool to be afraid of the brown people and all the times they are planning on murdering your precious white brat children, but it’s hard to tell who is the coolest. Yes, there are those who each come up with the new idea that breaks the previous world record of hate, but those guys are immigration nerds. The real cool people are those who are the first to make this hate happen, and the best way to do that is to sit outside all night in a folding chair like you’re waiting to buy concert tickets. CONCERT TICKETS FOR THE ULTIMATE HATE CONCERT! Read more on Texas Legislator Camps Out To Be First To File Clone Arizona Immigration Bill…
  but where is the soap-opera drama?

Univision Not Going To Air Ad Telling Brown People They Shouldn’t Vote

A Hispanic Republican group made an ad telling Nevada Spanish-speakers not to vote this year because the Democrats in Congress haven’t made good on their promises to do stuff. You know, that’s a pretty valid sentiment! But of course this came from Republicans, so we all see why they are actually telling the brown people not to vote. This ad was going to go up on Univision, a teevee channel that broadcasts directions to illegal immigrants on how to set up Sharia law in the United States, but this group made the mistake of putting up the English-language version of this ad you see above on YouTube, where gringo journalists could see and understand it. And now Univision will not broadcast this brilliant ad that would have given Sharron Angle the margin she needed to be elected your next Senate Majority Leader. Read more on Univision Not Going To Air Ad Telling Brown People They Shouldn’t Vote…
  diaperman's world

Vitter Worried About Mexicans Getting Through Louisana’s Border Fence

Ever been to Louisiana? One interesting thing is that the “Mexico” underneath the state is actually made of seawater (and BP oil). But this hasn’t stopped Diaperman’s campaign from producing this comically offensive ad full of Cheech & Chong extras climbing through the Bayou State’s “border fence.” Read more on Vitter Worried About Mexicans Getting Through Louisana’s Border Fence…
  the meg whitman of new jersey

Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans

Orange-headed Space.com founder and fired cable-news host Lou Dobbs was known for one thing during his long last years of anchoring a CNN show even dumber than Rick’s List: Lou Dobbs HATED the Mexicans. Oh man they drove him NUTS! And once CNN management decided Lou Dobbs was too awful even for CNN, Lou Dobbs decided that Evil Ghost Mexicans were attacking his house, with weaponry, and also he fantasized about being president or New Jersey’s anti-Mexican commissioner. What could possibly bring this swollen-faced grumblepuss back to the pages of Wonkette? He got caught hiring illegal aliens! Read more on Mexican-Hating Lou Dobbs Employs Illegal Mexicans…
  oh great get the UN involved

UN Appoints Minor Bureaucrat To Deal With Space Alien Invasion

Have you heard about the impending invasion of the Space Devils? Whether it’s another discovery of a new “earthlike” planet filled with thousand-foot-tall rape monsters or the latest MSNBC documentary about the night demons who arrive all the time in UFOs as foretold in the Bible, it seems we just can’t escape the fact that very soon now, the sky will be filled with gigantic “processing ships” where we’ll all be assaulted (sexually) around the clock for a hundred years (thanks to the aliens’ sophisticated Obamacare) and the beast-lords will stomp the Earth and chew the heads of our beloved children the way we eat entire CostCo crates of corn-syrup puffs each night when we settle down in front of the flat-screen. Anyway, the United Nations has decided this is just the kind of impossible, intractable problem that requires a special UN envoy. Read more on UN Appoints Minor Bureaucrat To Deal With Space Alien Invasion…
  food/booze news!

But Will There Still Be Pig Roasts In a Fenty-Less DC?

Wednesday, September 15: It’s a new a day in DC, but if there’s one thing (most) Washingtonians will always love, it’s their precious food trucks. Now it’s time to figure out which food truck is the best food truck: Brightest Young Things, along with DCRA and the DC Commission on the Arts and Humanities, is hosting a Food Truck Cook-off October 7 and 8 at the Old Washington Convention Center. To prep for this holy event, BYT is hosting a Kick-off party tonight at Chinatown Coffee from 6-8PM. [Curbside Cook-off 2010, Cook-off Kick-off Happy Hour] Read more on But Will There Still Be Pig Roasts In a Fenty-Less DC?…
  republicans in the news

Which ‘Prominent Republican’ Lives Gayly With An Illegal Mexican?

Wonkette’s pal Princess Sparkle Pony was reading some boring Washington Post feature about immigration and homosexuality when he noticed a NEWS SCOOP (or just common knowledge that rarely finds its way into the establishment Washington press) about a leading Republican here in the nation’s capital who lives with his secret Latino lover. And everybody knows LatinO + GOP = 2 men sharing their love. Read more on Which ‘Prominent Republican’ Lives Gayly With An Illegal Mexican?…
  BICENTENARIO DE ¿WTF?

Mexico Turns 200 This Week!

Did you know that Mexicans won their “independence” 200 years ago, and their “democracy” 100 years ago? And they even have a “president,” Felipe Calderon, who lost the 2006 election by 1.5 million votes but still “won” it very narrowly. ¡Viva México Mágico! Anyway, Messicans are not very happy about their upcoming bicentennial celebrations — even the Mexican national newspaper, the New York Times, sounds crestfallen today: “the national mood has sunk into its deepest funk in years.” Yeah, like 200 years! And what do we do down South of the Border when we are in a “deep funk”? Revolutions! Revolts! And gringos don’t want these manual labor jobs these days, either, so once again the Mexicans are stuck with the dirty work. Read more on Mexico Turns 200 This Week!…
  apparently there are not enough legitimate sharron angle attacks

Sharron Angle Wants Your Spouse To Beat You Up, Reid Ad Says

Who is this serious-looking gentleman wearing a badge on his polo shirt? Christ, the Mexicans are stealing all of our bad acting jobs too. MEANWHILE, the Domestic Abuse SUV has pulled up to our Nevada house, OMINOUSLY. Why didn’t Sharron Angle construct huge walls around the border of Nevada so Domestic Abuse SUVs can’t get inside? Read more on Sharron Angle Wants Your Spouse To Beat You Up, Reid Ad Says…
  it's morning in america

Demon-Congress Returns, Will Probably Raise Your Taxes

Congress’ childish “recess” is over, which means all of your favorite politicians are returning to our nation’s Swamp Capital, in their private jumbo jets. We imagine they are glad to be back in Washington, where they do not have to talk to the Real Americans back home who are concerned about “the Mosks, the Messicans, and the Hamas Babies.” And of course just about every Congressperson has it wrong on all of these issues, so don’t act surprised when the Democrats gets butt-paddled in November. But what does this do-nothing commie legislature have scheduled until then? They will argue about tax cuts for rich people, and also maybe impeach Charlie Rangel. So: Welcome back Congress. [Fox News] Read more on Demon-Congress Returns, Will Probably Raise Your Taxes… Read more on Demon-Congress Returns, Will Probably Raise Your Taxes…
  where on the doll did the debate touch you?

Traumatized Jan Brewer Not Going To Debate Anyone EVER AGAIN

Jan Brewer does not understand this whole debate thing and the idea that you have to make “opening statements” and have “accomplishments” to talk about in them, and thus she has decided she won’t do one ever again, SO THERE. “She said the only reason she debated him on Wednesday is she had to to qualify for more than $1.7 million in public funds for her campaign.” Change the rules, Arizona! America loves to cringe at this woman! Read more on Traumatized Jan Brewer Not Going To Debate Anyone EVER AGAIN…
  anti-incumbent fever

You Still Have John McCain To Kick Around, Forever

America’s new Robert Byrd is John McCain, who will never be voted out of the Senate because Arizona Republicans are also too old and confused and stupid to know what’s happening, ever. Hooray for the ex-Maverick! It only cost Juan the last crumbs of his integrity and legacy, and it cost Cindy $20 million. But at least she gets to send Walnuts back to Washington and out of her way, while she drools over young Navy SEALs in an Rx haze. John McCain has handily defeated crazy teevee huckster J.D. Hayworth. Read more on You Still Have John McCain To Kick Around, Forever…
  she used the spanish word 'burrito'

Sarah Palin Won’t Stop Talking About Obama’s Genitals

Most of us missed yesterday’s episode of “Fox News Sunday,” because Sunday is the Lord’s Day, the day when you crawl off the couch and dirtbike to church so you can show Jesus the new unregistered semiautomatic you purchased at Walmart. But anyway, back to this Fox News segment: Chris Wallace blurts out something about “the Arab Arizona immigration law,” which is confusing because “Arab” should never be used as a compliment. But that is neither here nor there. The real hot-as-Tim Pawlenty’s-hot-wife scoop is that Sarah Palin was too busy fantasizing about the size of Barack Obama’s genitals to notice that Chris Wallace called Arizona “Arab”. This video is Suitable for Work, but only because Sarah Palin stops herself at the last possible moment from orgasming all over the teevee. Read more on Sarah Palin Won’t Stop Talking About Obama’s Genitals…