Wonkette

DOES THIS MEAN THAT IT HAS TO STOP?: “WASHINGTON - A Metro station manager and a Metro custodian were arrested on prostitution charges after an undercover transit police investigation found they arranged sexual trysts for money from inside the Dupont Circle Metro station.” Oh boy! Apparently the station manager was the contact on a flier advertising “sex trips” to Brazil. Are those still on, or do we get refunds? [Examiner]

Aside from John McCain, no person or organization cares as much about global warming as the fine folks operating Washington D.C.’s Metro system, which is doing heavy business this time of year shuttling fannypacked tourist families to historical locations that promise to disappoint. That’s on top of the many “Regulars” who take the Metro to work and back daily — not because they want to avoid traffic, but because they want to reduce carbon emissions! According to this new Metro ad, the “average Regular” of this sort is a fat, stomping black lady with a truck who leaves Bigfoot-sized tar footprints all over her ghetto except when she’s sitting on a Metro train, serenaded by birds. [YouTube]

Barack Obama has raised $196 million dollars for his campaign in the last minute. Still, he insists upon charging some people five dollars for a sign to put in their front yards. What is wrong with him? In a column for Boston’s Metro, a Philly writer has put it all into strange perspective. And yes, it involves terrorism somehow. MORE »

One of those New York liberal media elites, Jennifer 8. Lee of the New York Times‘ City Room blog, came across this fantastic DC Metro ad this week, and now she’s getting very “New York Angry” about it. Metro denies the “nameless” rat-infested death rail in question is the New York Subway. But you try stopping a New York blogger on the war path: “City Room will say, sure, Washington’s system may be rat-free, but its subway map also has all the sophistication of Fisher Price.” True! But at least the Metro doesn’t have a number as its middle name. [City Room]

*THIS CAN’T BE THE FIRST TIME:* Bill Clinton’s meanness got you down? Well here’s something neat: some random blogger spotted “two big poops” on the DC Metro today. [Jesus Saves, I Spend via Free Ride]

Some people laughed when a group of dirty hippies announced their intention to bring New York’s infamous pants-free protest to the more dour environs of the D.C. Metrorail system. Say what you want about “attractive for DC,” but these completely normal people followed through on protesting the drabness that it D.C. by stripping down and riding around, and that takes some stones (metaphorical and otherwise) They even got cursed to aytch-eeh-double-hockey-sticks by an old lady. Also, someone has quite the impressive bulge despite the temperature, but you’ll have to watch to see for yourself.

Every now and then, we come across legitimate excuses to get trashed on a Monday - proof of God’s everlasting love for the working man (and woman, I guess). If you’re still in the District and have yet plan out your New Year’s festivities, you’ve got quite a few options for how to spend your final evening of 2007 (some more expensive than others). It’s been one hell of a year, and we’re going to try to make it one hell of a night. MORE »

Don’t you just love it when some quippy Business Section jackass at the WaPo decides to tackle gentrification on a small business-level, assumes a positive urban-renewal tone but ultimately just says “IT’S A LOT BETTER IN THIS AREA SINCE THE BLACK PEOPLE LEFT”? Well, we had one of those today, about a liquor store. The subhead: “As Rough-Hewn Area Goes Upscale, Merchant Shifts From Beer to Champagne.” What a merrily racist Christmas Eve ’tis! MORE »