NEWS SHOCKER: Meg Stapleton, holder of the World’s Worst Job as spokeswoman for an increasingly fragile and erratic unemployed publicity hound, had to once again explain at the very last minute how Sarah Palin would not be headlining an event that the event organizers thought she would be headlining. This happens every five days or so, so Meg should probably just have some boilerplate text cooked up to explain these embarrassing incidents. MORE »

Like Sarah Palin said last night, mayors have Actual Responsibilities, unlike community organizers who just help poor people stay alive after their steel plant jobs are outsourced. And Sarah Palin’s responsibilities included funding “the meth capitol of Alaska,” as Alaskan State Troopers call the Wasilla region: “When authorities surrounded a converted bus housing a meth operation in Big Lake in January, a 13-year-old boy who answered the door bragged that his mom cooked the best meth in the valley, according to the troopers.” See? In Alaska, “Hockey Mom” is code for “Arctic Meth Princess.” [Andrew Sullivan]

* Mexican drug lords say a little prayer every night for Barack Obama, without whom none of their meth profits would be possible. [Hit & Run]
* Walnuts kept from going nuts in Vietnamese prisons by rubbing one out to Nancy Ronald Reagan every night. [YouTube]
* Giuliani’s running not because of maniacal power lust, but because he thinks people want him to. [Freakonomics]
* Guy who calls Dick Cheney “Dad” also makes the call on what “sex for visa” and “air marshal drug smuggling” gets swept under the rug at DHS. [Think Progress]
* “Anytime someone is elected president in the United States, they must ask permission from Chuck Norris to live in the White House. The reason for this is because Chuck Norris has won every Federal, State, and Local election since 1777. He just allows others to run the country in his place.” [World Net Daily]
* Mike Huckabee already plans to give up campaign, book sales doing fine. [Political Wire]
* Wanted: one military operation name thinker-upper, knowledge of history or familiarity with comic books a plus. [Rising Hegemon]
* Red, white and blue “Stephen Colberry” ice cream coming soon to better supermarkets everywhere. [Salon]

We hope you’re feeling totally wired for Meth Day! The US Department of Justice has set up a website celebrating this cherished American holiday. On it, we learned: MORE »

Other than the increasing scientific evidence that Republican Jesus Freak = Weirdo closeted homosexual who needs some Rehab, there may be another reason Ted Haggard carried on a three-year meth/sex arrangement with a male prostitute. MORE »

Reverend Ted isn’t just a Bush Administration insider who had a personal gay male hooker and meth dealer. He’s an author! MORE »

The charming magazine mockup above was produced (we are not making this up) by your DEA, which has apparently contracted Patrick Hearst’s non-union Mexican equivalent for propaganda purposes. MORE »

• 53% disapprove of Bush in WP-ABC poll. Two-thirds complain about gas prices and a majority think the administration can reduce them, painting “a portrait of national frustration with the direction and leadership of the country, which, if not reversed in coming months, is likely to color the environment for next year’s midterm elections, putting incumbents in both parties on the defensive.” 52% think Bush should meet with Sheehan; Democrats and independents are disappointed by their leaders. [WP]
• Reagan library finds thousands of Roberts-related documents; officials rush to sort them out before next week’s confirmation hearings. [NYT, LAT]
• Bush decides to tap oil reserves; returns to Washington to orchestrate response to Hurricane Katrina. [WP, WP]
• Oil prices likely to pass $3 a gallon this weekend. [WP]
• Incomes have not grown in five years and the poverty rate has increased to 12.7%, the Census Bureau reports. [NYT]
• Bush compares Iraq war to WWII: “They will fail, because the terrorists of our century are making the same mistake that the followers of totalitarian ideology made in the last century. They believe that democracies are inherently weak and corrupt and can be brought to their knees.” [WP]
• Administration has drafted rules that weaken environmental oversight for power plants, allowing for the release of more pollution. [WP]

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