Hi! Our website is made possible by displaying online advertisements to our visitors.
Please consider supporting us by signing up for an Ad-Fewer Subscription, throwing us a couple bucks a month, or disabling your ad blocker.

Tag: metaphors

Watergate Hotel Sets Self On Fire, Not That We Should Read Anything Into That

Russian Embassy complex overheard giggling hysterically.
Thank god somebody has some fresh thinking!

New Republican Congress Accomplishes Nothing, Goes On Vacation

Back in November, Idea Men John Boehner and Mitch McConnell conserva-splained at America how they would fix Congress now that they'd won the midterms. These Bold, Robust Ideas were intended to unite the party and carry forward the Will...

Glenn Beck Worried Progressives Coming To Smother Your Kids With Metaphors

The good folks at RightWing Watch are worried about Glenn Beck's emotional health; he's been all over the place lately, what with the condom gloves and the messy breakup with Michele Bachmann and his strange fantasies about memorials for...

Ted Nugent Has More ‘Metaphors’ About Shooting People To Death, Again

Ted Nugent, a wise and gentle seeker of cosmic truth, as well as a known lover of humanity and rainbows and raping people into submission, has made words with the butt on his face again, and would you be...

Rhode Island Prof Learns Only Wingnuts Allowed To Use Violent Metaphors

So, after the Newtown massacre last Friday, Erik Loomis, a University of Rhode Island history professor, got on the Twitter Machine and expressed the sort of outrage that a lot of people were feeling that day toward...

GOP Apologizes For ‘Armed Revolution’ ‘Metaphor’ With Reminder To Shed Blood Of Tyrants

Seems ol' Diddles McGee at the Greene County, Virginia, GOP, has caught some unfriendly fire after his insane ramblings about how we must have "armed revolution" if Obama succeeds at the ballot box. He tried to pull a Wyclef...

Gigantic Radical Homosexual Agenda Busy Tearing Holes In All The Bottoms (VIDEO)

Quick, everybody leave the engine on your Hummer running, all night, with the AC cranked! Sorry the Maldives, but we must use global warming to melt all the icebergs, because gays! Wait what? Oh, humanity is the Titanic,...

Bald Eagle Dies In Line of Duty Being Perfect Metaphor For Our Awful Country

A bald eagle was killed by a train Thursday morning while enjoying breakfast on a stretch of tracks near Abderdeen, according to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Craig Koppie, an eagle coordinator with the federal agency, said the rare...

Mike Huckabee Waiting Until Summer To Decide If He Wants To Lose Again

While the rest of the Republican field waits to get in, Herman Cain only gets stronger. Mike Huckabee says he will wait until the summer to start running for president, because he learned the last time he ran that...

Teabag Lady First Person Ever To Use ‘Forced Down Our Throats’ Correctly

If you follow American politics and you have a soul, one of your least favorite phrases is some variation of "forced down our throats." This is generally used to imply that some law or regulation has gone into...

Freepers So Angry They Will Burn Toast At You!

The latest "put a food item in the mail to Washington, DC in order to send a strongly worded message to whomever" stunt involves ... a cooked bread thing! Note that bread does not appear even once in the...

Romney, Huckabee Officially Feuding

Hey MIKE HUCKABEE, Mittens "Willard" Romney sees your new book's disparaging excerpts directed at him and raises you a brisk retort through "Eric" the traveling spokesman! "This type of pettiness is beneath Mike Huckabee... If we’re going to move...

AP McCain Feature Just Chock Full of Awful Metaphors About Accordion Players

It's the New Associated Press! Less boring facts and whatever, and more shitty, shitty writing like you might find on a Live Journal, for the Retarded. Let's enjoy some of the dozens of terrible metaphors in today's AP feature...

Rove To Republicans: Obama Is Totally ‘That Guy’ At The Country Club

Brilliant Republican strategist Karl Rove is not Arrogant, or an Elitist. He has helped his party help poor people and the underrepresented by flying young men and women to Iraq, which they may colonize for a brighter, more prosperous...

Mike Huckabee Fantasizes About Prom Night Fling With John McCain

As a presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee had no money, staff, or knowledge of foreign policy. He did have an economic policy, but it was the Fair Tax, that famously comical pyramid scheme. So how did he get the second...