messicans

You know, any right-wing jerkoff can compare Democrats/the gays/undocumented immigrants/kittens to Hitler. In fact, there’s probably some sort of special right-wing keyboard that comes with a macro for just that so they can be all efficient-like. But it takes some real over-the-top proactive synergized thinking to skip Hitler and go right on up to SATAN […]

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy That is sad, you guys. United States Senator John McCain is dead, murdered by these fat insane Arizonans for loving Messicans too much. “These people care for our babies,” he moaned, as the crowd descended upon him.

This is the THING about lady voters you guys: they do not understand anything about politics or policy, it is too complex with them. If you want ladies to vote for your candidate, you must therefore explain things in terms they can understand, using metaphors about periods and boyfriends and shopping and whatnot. This is […]

Republicans are mad at Mexican lover Barack Obama because he wants to temporarily not destroy the lives of brown people who have lived in America pretty much their whole life by renditioning them to a country they have never lived in so they can starve in a lonely wasteland of fear. Go get em GOP! […]

Enter the warrior, he’s today’s Tom Sawyer, they call him RJ Brewer and he waves his flag in one hand and a copy of SB1070 in the other. RJ Brewer, being the fake son of Jan Brewer, fake governor of Arizona, enters the ring as if he owns it. Waiting for his opponent, he stops […]

FAITHFUL READERS: Here is a quick note from your newest patriot/Wonkette contributor. Hello, you! I just spent the last four years as an expatriate journalist in Mexico, this popular beach colony whose most famous exports are the swine flu and Republican talking points about space aliens. No one told me to go to Mexico, but […]

Everyone decided it was Do Shit to Obama Day when the president had a rally in Philadelphia yesterday. Some unknown person threw a paperback book at him, for one, though apparently the president didn’t notice, so our antsy nation must wait until next time to try to change Obama’s reading habits again by tossing magazines […]

Orange-headed Space.com founder and fired cable-news host Lou Dobbs was known for one thing during his long last years of anchoring a CNN show even dumber than Rick’s List: Lou Dobbs HATED the Mexicans. Oh man they drove him NUTS! And once CNN management decided Lou Dobbs was too awful even for CNN, Lou Dobbs […]

WHAT IS HE SAYING?! SPEAK AMERICAN, BLACK MAN. Yes, Michael Steele has made another major boo-boo today, telling Univision that Arizona’s immigration law is “not a reflection of an entire political party.” WHAT? ALL REPUBLICANS MUST ADHERE TO PARTY ORTHODOXY, AND THAT ORTHODOXY SHALL BE DICTATED BY THE MOST EXTEME AND HATEFUL AND LOUDEST. Michael […]

ACTION ALERT! You may not be aware that there are products and services you are supposed to be boycotting right now, so your Wonkette reporter of homosexuals is here to save the day! Things used to be much simpler, back when the American Family Association was boycotting McDonald’s for their excessive gayness, by leaving hilarious […]

Some depressing county fair in Idaho decided its theme this year would be “Fiesta at the Fair,” as that seems exotic and fun (depressing). So of course the county GOP decided that this was an evil Messican idea. “Bonner County fair board Chairman Tim Cary said the fair was just looking for a theme that’s […]

Senate candidate Rand Paul has a lot of new, interesting ideas. On the immigration issue, your average Republican would just mumble something about building a fence at the Mexican border. Not Rand Paul! Paul has come up with his own fence idea. Instead of building one above ground, it will be underground, where the Mexicans […]

WHAT? Speak American! Meg Whitman has decided to court the Messicans in her race for California governor, and here is her first ad. It airs today during a soccer match, so apparently she’s trying to get the gay vote too. What is being said? WE DON’T KNOW, WE’RE AMERICAN. So here’s an attempt to figure […]