• May 26, 2012

memorial day

Do not fear, Miami Beach! Sure, lots and lots of African American youths are expected on your white sand shores for Memorial Day weekend, but luckily your PD is ready for them, and that is by instituting a “quota” mandating that its officers arrest a minimum of 2000 blahs! Nah nah nah says the police [...]

Why does Horrible Person Barack Obama not know that it is totally inappropriate to relax and play golf on Memorial Day? It’s like he’s peeing on the bodies of dead soldiers. Crabby Brit commentator Nile Gardiner can’t understand why Obama’s Chief of Staff refused to put a stop to this horror: Does it matter if [...]

Happy Memorial Day! It is time to honor America’s War Heroes, meaning Sarah Palin. America’s favorite snowbilly grifter showed up Sunday at “Rolling Thunder,” a non-partisan organization which raises awareness of veterans’ issues through the display of motorcycles that run on Muslim-Arabian fuel. Palin attracted a crowd of rally-goers eager to honor Sarah’s service in [...]

It was enough of a slap in America’s face for Barack Obama to skip the wreath-laying ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery in favor of one at his precious Chicago thug-controlled “Abraham Lincoln National Ceremony,” which isn’t even accredited by the Princeton Review. Now what’s this, lightning? Who cares about dumb electricity sparkles in the sky. [...]

Happy Memorial Day, Americans! (Because of the Constitution, you are the only people on the planet to have a day honoring your soldiers, so enjoy it! Foreigners just cold eat their war casualties, “to avenge the fallen.”) And don’t turn on the news radio or look at the Internet, except for the usual porn and [...]

Hooray, it’s… an ugly Blingee! It depicts America’s Fence, keepin’ those perverts away from America’s Piper Palin, except for the ones that can moondance through the large, large gap. Happy Memorial Day weekend to the troops, as well as regular humans! Everyone walkin’ around the beach, stone drunk, no pants, no nothin’… (Also, your departing [...]

While you hamburger sacks may conceive of Memorial Day as little more than a free 24-hour session of experimental masturbation R&D, it is actually a “memorial” to those Americans, throughout our History, who have laid down their lives in the service of the King. Your Wonkette would like to thank and honor The Troops past [...]

The first thing wrong with this video is it shows a mixed-race couple, which must still be illegal somewhere in the “Real America,” maybe Alabama or Texas? But the rest teaches our children a valuable lesson about why they can’t have nice things: Because that’s socialist! So if you want to go to the beach, [...]

Wednesday, May 20: There’s no shame if the only charitable contribution you ever make to the District of Columbia is via eating at fundraisers. If a full stomach is your way of saying, “Thanks DC for heightening my chance of getting AIDS and for granting me the opportunity to almost be murdered on multiple occasions,” [...]

Viva La Pantyhose

by Ken Layne  7:09 pm May 29, 2007

Nuts May Contain Nuts

by Ken Layne  4:35 pm May 25, 2007