Dana Perino Confused By Most Things, But Specifically McClellan’s Criticism
Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
The White House has issued a Papal Bull in response to former press secretary Scott McClellan’s new book, in which he makes bland accusations about the Bush administration like “they may not have been completely trustworthy” in order to sell his otherwise unsellable crappy account of his pathetic life. The most recent White House press secretary, smokin’ hot monster Dana Perino, indicates in the pithy statement — which you can see after the jump!! — that she cannot read bookz.
“Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House. For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad — this is not the Scott we knew.
“The book, as reported by the press, has been described to the President. I do not expect a comment from him on it — he has more pressing matters than to spend time commenting on books by former staffers.”
Perino’s memoir, Wonkette can exclusively report, is in the works, and it’s pretty harsh too! Here’s an excerpt MUST CREDIT WONKETTE:
wuz bummin in the street then i got married to some guy. married a guy who has a name like bob or steve or other name. saw george bush in mexico at barbecue & he had a wife to. every1 said hi was very nice and gits me a jobb. ari fleischcher with the no hair and the talky bout 9/11. THEN MCCLELLAN i DONT LIKE BOB MCCLELLAN GRR. then tony snow had fever and quit. then i had job the end.
This still gives more insight than Steve Bob Scooter McClellan’s entire book.
The White House has issued a Papal Bull in response to former press secretary Scott McClellan’s new book, in which he makes bland accusations about the Bush administration like “they may not have been completely trustworthy” in order to sell his otherwise unsellable crappy account of his pathetic life. The most recent White House press secretary, smokin’ hot monster Dana Perino, indicates in the pithy statement — which you can see after the jump!! — that she cannot read bookz.
“Scott, we now know, is disgruntled about his experience at the White House. For those of us who fully supported him, before, during and after he was press secretary, we are puzzled. It is sad — this is not the Scott we knew.
“The book, as reported by the press, has been described to the President. I do not expect a comment from him on it — he has more pressing matters than to spend time commenting on books by former staffers.”
Perino’s memoir, Wonkette can exclusively report, is in the works, and it’s pretty harsh too! Here’s an excerpt MUST CREDIT WONKETTE:
wuz bummin in the street then i got married to some guy. married a guy who has a name like bob or steve or other name. saw george bush in mexico at barbecue & he had a wife to. every1 said hi was very nice and gits me a jobb. ari fleischcher with the no hair and the talky bout 9/11. THEN MCCLELLAN i DONT LIKE BOB MCCLELLAN GRR. then tony snow had fever and quit. then i had job the end.
This still gives more insight than Steve Bob Scooter McClellan’s entire book.
Wonkette comical typos operative “Ron” sends us this screen shot of a CNN.com article in which Karl Rove lets slip a revelation of his own about 
If you ever wondered about the secret lives of pill-popping blondes but were too lazy to crack Valley of the Dolls, future First Lady Cindy McCain will help you out. In her memoir, due out just a few months before her angry midget husband is crowned Emperor of America, she will reveal all of her secrets to staying healthy, wealthy, and married to a physically and emotionally fragile war veteran. In other words, the book will be a sort of Less Than Zero meets 
How much is the final payout for being one of the most despised men in the Bush White House? Around $3 million. The bidding for former White House senior advisor Karl Rove’s memoirs kicks off today. “It will sell for millions, but how many millions is the question,” one potential publisher said. 
Scott McClellan was the White House press secretary during a tough stretch. Let’s call it the “Golden Age of Lying,” as opposed to the “I Have Feeling Bush Is Lying” (2001-2003) and “Eh, Bush Is Lying Again, Big Whoop” (2005-present) eras that bookended his tenure. McClellan always seemed like a decent guy beneath that shiny veneer of geopolitical sin, and now he’s coming out to exonerate himself. 
Lynne Cheney is celebrating the end of her successful tour of duty as America’s Second-Most-Loathed Cheney by writing a memoir. So she’s hitting the tv circuit and telling charming stories about her whirlwind high school romance with Vice President Ernst “Dick” Blofeld. He dumped her for a cheerleader in senior year! Then Lynne’s grandma bought her a “black lace sheath dress” which apparently convinced Dick that this one would put out so he went back to her and then they got married and went on to the destroy the nation for forty years. Lynne also wants to dispel some rumors! 
Colin Powell, in