memoirs

One of the funniest things Michelle Bachmann ever did – this week! – was to name her new book “Core of Conviction,” by which she means she should be convicted for being criminally insane. And now, courtesy of some tortured bet-losing news room intern who was forced to read an advance copy of her certifiable […]

Oh no, Amazon took down the page for Bristol Palin’s memoir! Perhaps it was a dangerous book, a work of such importance that the authorities felt threatened enough to ban it! Or perhaps it was one of those “pedophile guides to love and pleasure,” and it had to be censored so that people on the […]

And then it came to this: “Bristol Palin (Author)”

America’s Grandpa of Death Donald Rumsfeld is having his memoir published on Tuesday, serving as an addendum to George W. Bush’s book in that it has actual, alleged facts, opinions, and memories in it. So: Abu Ghraib? Not his fault, but he really wanted to resign over it and feels very emo that big meanie […]

Isn’t it great to have our previous president back in the news these days? How about this one: He lifted passages of his book out of other people’s books and news articles? Yes, he did! Or rather, whoever was putting together his book did. Hey, c’mon, why would Bush want to remember stuff himself? It’s […]

Bobby Jindal is not just a governor looking to run against Obama for president: He also happens to be a beautiful aquatic bird who was personally coated in oil by the Evil President while trying only to help the people of Louisiana. And so little Jindal has written a book about himself, to inform America […]

Donald Rumsfeld’s memoir will be published in January. Don’t read it: “Known and Unknown,” being published by Sentinel (an imprint of Penguin), refers to Rumsfeld’s explanation in 2002 for the lack of evidence that Iraq was supplying terrorists with weapons of mass destruction. “Reports that say that something hasn’t happened are always interesting to me, […]

LITERATURE  4:59 pm May 24, 2010

by Jim Newell

THE REVIEWS ARE COMING IN, AND FRED THOMPSON’S BOOK IS REALLY OBNOXIOUS: Prominent banking pamphlet The Wall Street Journal has reviewed failed presidential savior Fred Thompson’s stupid book and is just kind of baffled at this asshole. “There are bland tales of ‘schoolboy crimes’ including flinging a water bottle into a window fan to spray […]

It is still Memoir Season for all Republicans who had any power or influence whatsoever between 2001 and 2009. Meanwhile, Fred Thompson is also writing a book! It’s about his life as a Real American, and features some authentic, folksy prose from the crack team of unpaid ghostwriters working out of the slave shed at […]

Like every other gay dingbat on this godforsaken planet, Harold Ford Junior has a dumb book chronicling his Life coming out in the near future — replete with the “forward-looking/confident gaze into the heavens with cloud backdrop” provisional cover. It comes out one week before the New York senatorial primary election, in September, OH HO […]

PEOPLE WHO SHOULD BE IN JAIL  2:04 pm November 18, 2009

by Jim Newell

MARK YOUR CALENDARS! Ooh, a book that might actually rival Going Rogue, in lies: “NEW YORK – Karl Rove’s memoir has a title, ‘Courage and Consequence,’ and a release date — March 9, 2010.” Well if there’s snappy alliteration in the title, we can’t not buy it. [AP]

American Face of Evil, Sarah Palin, has “written her book.” It is a whole 400 pages of book! The first 399 pages are simply her smearing baby poop over blank pages. It smells to high heaven! The title is… wait a second, we’re just getting our cyanide pill ready here, for when the post is […]

New information has arisen concerning former mid/lower-level no-name douchey excerpt-mongering George W. Bush speechwriter, the very smart conservative person Matt Latimer! Last week we examined the useless, exploitative heap of self-preserving, unconfirmable anecdotes he passed along to GQ to publicize the release of his douchey tell-all piece of crap book, Speechless, which chronicles the Bush […]

Condoleezza Rice just signed a $2.5 million contract to write three books about 1) her years in the Bush Administration and 2) her life. It will be so awesome to read about all the terrible throwdowns she got into drunk, and that time she engaged in a crack-fueled confrontation with Ohio cops and got arrested […]

After her cruelly brief tenure as a vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin is poised to perform a time-honored ritual for national failures and people who have completely humiliated themselves, repeatedly, on the world stage: she will write her memoirs, and she will be paid many millions of dollars for it. And she will waste all […]