Everybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early? MORE »

Among the Bushes, Jeb is known as “the smart one with the Mexican wife and the hot son and the pillhead daughter.” He had dibs on the presidency, but then George stepped in first, and now Jeb Bush is just the former governor of a state full of alligators and Truck Nutz addicts. But now he says he might run for the Florida Senate seat that Mel Martinez will vacate in 2010. The Bushes, like the Clintons, will never ever leave politics, ever. [Politico]

Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran for the Senate and won, we guess, because he’s a senator now, but only for two more years. MORE »

One’s a Democrat, one’s a Republican, and together they’re Two Senators from Florida! Between that and the ’80s production values, maybe some Hollywood hotshot can round up a few writer scabs and turn this thing into the new Golden Girls. [YouTube]

“Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) resigned Friday as general chairman of the Republican National Committee, leaving all top-level leader duties for the embattled GOP to Mike Duncan, the current chairman.” [Politico]

Iraqi insurgents nearly killed three Republican senators and a Democrat from the House, for good measure, as the Americans attempted to flee Iraq on Thursday. GOP senators Richard Shelby, James Inhofe, Mel Martinez and Alabama Representative “Robert” E. “Bud” Cramer were finishing their vacation in Baghdad when missiles and rocket-propelled grenades were fired at their C-130 cargo plane. MORE »

* Heard on the Hill: JOHN KYL DOESN’T HAVE A BLACKBERRY! … Louie Gohmert zinged Steny Hoyer something fierce with a Murtha crack… Buncha Republicans planning on having fundraisers at The Who’s March 8 concert. [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: Madame Tussauds to open DC wax museum, still trying to find Al Gore’s head. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: College Republicans at CPAC fairly well behaved, did sneak a little alcohol in… CPAC DJ reveals pres candidates music choices… Mitt Romney dolphin dude was treated real nice by Romney staffers… Rudy was allowed to talk as long as he wanted, unlike everyone else at CPAC. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Bob Gates held his first Defense Sec press conference around a big table… Howard Dean and Mel Martinez to meet to make sure New Hampshire primaries are first… Bob Mueller starting an FBI book club. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Ron Burkle, Bono, Jay-Z, and Bill Clinton had the weirdest dinner ever at the Spotted Pig. [NYP]

* Harry Reid elected Senate Majority Leader by his peers, even though they find him to be a little too “Mormony.” [WP]
* House leadership elections are on Friday, no legislative work to occur until then, obv. [WP, NYT]
* Iraq study panel talks to Tony Blair and Bill Clinton, neither of whom think Carl Levin’s 4 to 6 month withdrawal plan is any good. [NYT, NYT]
* Jack Abramoff will try to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way in to Federal prison today. [WP]
* Democratic lobbyists who’ve been living on twigs and grubs since 1994 can now return to their place in the sun, table at Charlie Palmer’s. [NYT, WSJ]
* It’s all hugs and [ass] kisses for Joe Lieberman from Democrats who need his dour jowls to hold the majority. [NYT]
* Some Republicans consider the naming of Mel Martinez as RNC head “pandering to minorities.” Want the Grand Old Party to return to the days of having nothing but contempt for “those” people. [LAT]

* President Bush met yesterday with members of the Iraq study panel, said they have “interesting ideas.” [WP, NYT]
* Nagging corruption allegations against John Murtha create questions about Nancy Pelosi’s support for him as majority leader. [WP, NYT]
* President Bush begins trip to Asia today, will meet with Russia and China about best bullying tactics for Iran, Syria, and North Korea. [WSJ]
* The House’s failure to pass a bill normalizing trade relations with Vietnam seen as an embarrassment to Bush before his arrival in Hanoi. [NYT]
* Rudy Giuliani sets up presidential exploratory committee. [NYT]
* Florida Senator Mel Martinez to become RNC figurehead when Ken Mehlman steps down in January to spend more time with his leather pants. [ , NYT]
* Freshman lawmakers remarkably similar to freshman college students in giddy excitement, cluelessness. [WP, USAT]

We were momentarily intrigued by this ridiculous scenario suggested by a Wonkette op:

If Ken Mehlman (as CNN reports) is being replaced by Mel Martinez, does that mean Charlie Crist will appoint Katherine Harris to fill his Senate seat? Too good to be true?

Tragically, it’s too good to be true. We’ve just learned that Martinez will bring the Republican Party back to the 14th Century while simultaneously serving Florida as a corrupt bat-shit-crazy senator. MORE »

Mel Martinez will be the new chair of the Republican National Committee, according to the teevee. MORE »