Tag Archives: mel martinez

  green shoots!

Desperately Poor GOP Lobbyists Finally Finding Work Again

Americans are POOR AND BROKE, YA HEARD? Those who still haven’t hocked their eyes tend to look to newspapers for two purposes: for warmth, obviously, as they sleep on park benches in the frigid September night, but also for inspiration, for the knowledge that even if they’re doomed, there are Americans out there who are helping bring our economy back. Well, many a hobo is weeping tears of joy into his can of beans today, as he reads the rat-poop stained New York Times he fished out of the gutter and learns that yes, Republican lobbyists can find lucrative six- to seven-figure salaries once again, in America. Read more on Desperately Poor GOP Lobbyists Finally Finding Work Again…
  quitters

Senator Mel Martinez Quits Early

Everybody knew Senator Mel Martinez, the Florida guy who took advantage of what’s known as “the Cuban Exemption” in order to become both a Republican and a Hispanic at the same time, would not run for re-election in 2010. But who knew he’d be resigning his seat a year early? Read more on Senator Mel Martinez Quits Early…
  dynasties

Jeb Will Carry Bush Family Curse Into Senate

Among the Bushes, Jeb is known as “the smart one with the Mexican wife and the hot son and the pillhead daughter.” He had dibs on the presidency, but then George stepped in first, and now Jeb Bush is just the former governor of a state full of alligators and Truck Nutz addicts. But now he says he might run for the Florida Senate seat that Mel Martinez will vacate in 2010. The Bushes, like the Clintons, will never ever leave politics, ever. [Politico] Read more on Jeb Will Carry Bush Family Curse Into Senate…
  quitters

Mel Martinez Latest Republican To Give Up

Forgotten Florida Republican Senator Mel Martinez announced his retirement today, two years early, and nobody really cares. Martinez is a Cuban alien who somehow got to Florida and became mayor of some town, in Florida, so George Bush Junior made him the HUD secretary, so Martinez caused the housing collapse probably, and then he ran for the Senate and won, we guess, because he’s a senator now, but only for two more years. Read more on Mel Martinez Latest Republican To Give Up…
 

Florida Fat Cats Pulling Out All Stops For Voter Turnout

One’s a Democrat, one’s a Republican, and together they’re Two Senators from Florida! Between that and the ’80s production values, maybe some Hollywood hotshot can round up a few writer scabs and turn this thing into the new Golden Girls. [YouTube] Read more on Florida Fat Cats Pulling Out All Stops For Voter Turnout…
 

“Sen. Mel Martinez (R-Fla.) resigned Friday as general chairman of the Republican National Committee, leaving all top-level leader duties for the embattled GOP to Mike Duncan, the current chairman.” [Politico]
 

Iraqi Insurgents Tragically Fail To Kill U.S. Lawmakers

Iraqi insurgents nearly killed three Republican senators and a Democrat from the House, for good measure, as the Americans attempted to flee Iraq on Thursday. GOP senators Richard Shelby, James Inhofe, Mel Martinez and Alabama Representative “Robert” E. “Bud” Cramer were finishing their vacation in Baghdad when missiles and rocket-propelled grenades were fired at their C-130 cargo plane. Read more on Iraqi Insurgents Tragically Fail To Kill U.S. Lawmakers…
 

Gossip Roundup: Hot Wax

* Heard on the Hill: JOHN KYL DOESN’T HAVE A BLACKBERRY! … Louie Gohmert zinged Steny Hoyer something fierce with a Murtha crack… Buncha Republicans planning on having fundraisers at The Who’s March 8 concert. [Roll Call] * Reliable Source: Madame Tussauds to open DC wax museum, still trying to find Al Gore’s head. [WP] * Yeas and Nays: College Republicans at CPAC fairly well behaved, did sneak a little alcohol in… CPAC DJ reveals pres candidates music choices… Mitt Romney dolphin dude was treated real nice by Romney staffers… Rudy was allowed to talk as long as he wanted, unlike everyone else at CPAC. [Examiner] * Washington Whispers: Bob Gates held his first Defense Sec press conference around a big table… Howard Dean and Mel Martinez to meet to make sure New Hampshire primaries are first… Bob Mueller starting an FBI book club. [USN&WR] * Page Six: Ron Burkle, Bono, Jay-Z, and Bill Clinton had the weirdest dinner ever at the Spotted Pig. [NYP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Hot Wax…
 

Daily Briefing: Loungin’ on Lexshuns

* Harry Reid elected Senate Majority Leader by his peers, even though they find him to be a little too “Mormony.” [WP] * House leadership elections are on Friday, no legislative work to occur until then, obv. [WP, NYT] * Iraq study panel talks to Tony Blair and Bill Clinton, neither of whom think Carl Levin’s 4 to 6 month withdrawal plan is any good. [NYT, NYT] * Jack Abramoff will try to not let the door hit him in the ass on the way in to Federal prison today. [WP] * Democratic lobbyists who’ve been living on twigs and grubs since 1994 can now return to their place in the sun, table at Charlie Palmer’s. [NYT, WSJ] * It’s all hugs and [ass] kisses for Joe Lieberman from Democrats who need his dour jowls to hold the majority. [NYT] * Some Republicans consider the naming of Mel Martinez as RNC head “pandering to minorities.” Want the Grand Old Party to return to the days of having nothing but contempt for “those” people. [LAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Loungin’ on Lexshuns…
 

Daily Briefing: Talking Foes Over Pho

* President Bush met yesterday with members of the Iraq study panel, said they have “interesting ideas.” [WP, NYT] * Nagging corruption allegations against John Murtha create questions about Nancy Pelosi’s support for him as majority leader. [WP, NYT] * President Bush begins trip to Asia today, will meet with Russia and China about best bullying tactics for Iran, Syria, and North Korea. [WSJ] * The House’s failure to pass a bill normalizing trade relations with Vietnam seen as an embarrassment to Bush before his arrival in Hanoi. [NYT] * Rudy Giuliani sets up presidential exploratory committee. [NYT] * Florida Senator Mel Martinez to become RNC figurehead when Ken Mehlman steps down in January to spend more time with his leather pants. [ , NYT] * Freshman lawmakers remarkably similar to freshman college students in giddy excitement, cluelessness. [WP, USAT] Read more on Daily Briefing: Talking Foes Over Pho…
 

God Still Hates Katherine Harris

We were momentarily intrigued by this ridiculous scenario suggested by a Wonkette op: If Ken Mehlman (as CNN reports) is being replaced by Mel Martinez, does that mean Charlie Crist will appoint Katherine Harris to fill his Senate seat? Too good to be true? Tragically, it’s too good to be true. We’ve just learned that Martinez will bring the Republican Party back to the 14th Century while simultaneously serving Florida as a corrupt bat-shit-crazy senator. Read more on God Still Hates Katherine Harris…
 

RNC Experiments With Heterosexual Chairman

Mel Martinez will be the new chair of the Republican National Committee, according to the teevee. This is great news for social conservatives tired of worshiping a political party completely run by the homosexuals. Martinez is as anti-gay as they get without actually being gay. He does employ all kinds of gay staffers, but that’s pretty much the only way you have staffers at all. Read more on RNC Experiments With Heterosexual Chairman…
 

Wonk’d: Two Amys, Three Matthewses

Intern Nick is on vacation this week (along with the rest of DC), so your dedicated editors had to compile this edition of Washington’s favorite unverified stalking guide all by themselves. Pity us, and learn where Helen Thomas eats, and the places Robert Novak has been known to walk by. Also: did you know that C-Span anchors are celebrities? Brian Lamb sure didn’t! That was the week that was, after the jump. Read more on Wonk’d: Two Amys, Three Matthewses…
 

Gossip Roundup: Movers and Shakers

Reliable Source: First daughter Jenna Bush is leaving Washington for a teaching gig in Latin America; twin sis Barbara Bush recently landed a job in educational programming at New York’s Cooper Hewitt Museum. [WP] Read more on Gossip Roundup: Movers and Shakers…
 

Guessing Game Results: His Cheating Heart

Thanks for all your guesses in response to yesterday’s blind item about a southern Republican congressman who has found himself in a bit of trouble. We won’t pass on the correctness or incorrectness of your guesses; we’ll just pass them along, with minimal comment. Here was one of the better responses: Oh God, oh God, oh God! Please, please, please let it be Jeff Sessions! And please let his mistress be John Cornyn! Sorry to disappoint you, dear reader. But it can’t be Jeff Sessions, since he’s a senator rather than a representative. Points for creativity, though! More guesses, after the jump. Read more on Guessing Game Results: His Cheating Heart…
 

Florida Senate Staffer Resigns in Shame (Not Hers)

Senate staffer Amanda Schweitzer, 25, of Winter Park, Fla., was arrested last week for “refusing to leave [Shea Field]” after a college football game, yelling at the police and “pushing an officer away belligerently.” Heady stuff (though around here we just call that Friday night). Schweitzer told police that “Her boss, Sen. Bill Nelson, would take care of the cops and that they couldn’t do anything to her.” It’s a gross misuse of authority — literally: Schweitzer worked — she resigned yesterday — for Florida’s other, Republican, senator, Mel Martinez. Read more on Florida Senate Staffer Resigns in Shame (Not Hers)…