So, this is my last post at Wonkette. I could go all Emily about it, but I’m not that introspective a person and it just happened today so I haven’t thought it through that much. I’ll be contributing over at Jezebel in the coming weeks, so I hope to see some of you in the comment threads over there. I would like to say, though, that I appreciate those of you who have been reading, who have challenged my assumptions and my assertions and made me think harder and write better. I hope to continue those conversations in the future over there and/or at my public personal blog. In any case, I’m about to pull a Hillary, so I’m going to stop now. It’s been great working for you guys.

Wonkette readers, I never properly introduced myself when I started in October — and this was because I have been living a lie. I am not, in fact, Jim Newell, the “supposed” 22-year-old brat in Washington who makes mindfuckingly hilarious political jokes and uber-trenchant political observation. I am actually Jim al-Newell, a perceived terrorist with al-Qaeda who has all sorts of fun CIA information and shit like that. I hid this double agent status well until one day, when I was walking around DC with Megan Carpentier and I *stupidly* wore my favorite t-shirt — the one that says “Perceived Terrorist” in big A-rab letters on the front. Megan proceeded to waterboard me and asked all sorts of insidery-like questions, like “What time should we publish the gossip roundup?” Torture, I says! She proceeded to destroy the tape of this session — but oh ho ho, my secret camera caught it all! Watch it above! Death to teh Amerkaz, I’m not going anywhere!

Uh, so, hi! I’m the Anonymous Lobbyist and I’m the newest member of the Wonkette team and the only one brave enough to have her picture taken. Also, I have a real name and a warning for the perpetually unfunny: I know how to ban you. However, I get paid by page views, so that shit’s all after the jump.

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