meg whitman

Sorry if the headline makes no sense to humans, but it’s completely accurate. Meg Whitman, who for some reason spent $71 million of her own fortune to win the GOP primary for the utterly unwanted job of California Governor, is supposedly “qualified” because she worked at eBay for a while. And that’s where she went […]

Meg Whitman, who hit “buy it now” on the most expensive GOP primary campaign for the unwanted job of Governor of California, is much like Carly Fiorina, who cut the market value of Hewlett Packard by a remarkable 60% during her dismal reign as CEO of that company before spending millions of her own fortune […]

And now, the primary results you’ve all been waiting for … the race for the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district! Wait, you weren’t waiting for this? Well, fuck you. Strom Thurmond’s son advanced to a runoff against the only black Republican in South Carolina’s state legislature. Bet you think it’s interesting now, […]

Polls are closed everywhere! We see the light at the end of the tunnel. (It is called “tomorrow morning.”) But we’ve already got some very happy news to report: Pig-eyed drunken would-be rapist and serial crook Jim Gibbons has lost the governorship of Nevada! Not that anyone will really notice; he never actually showed up […]

For unknown reasons, former tech executive Meg Whitman decided she wanted to be the Republican candidate for governor, in California. Whitman has already spent $68 million of her fortune on this campaign, and now her 50-point lead in the polls is down to 9 percent. That is a pretty terrible return on her investment!

This one’s kind of a STRETCH — meaning, “effective.” California Republican gubernatorial candidate Steve Poizner is attacking his primary opponent Meg Whitman, former CEO of eBay, for having all sorts of porn available on the eBay while she was running it. Poizner’s ad even shows an insecure teenager about to jerk off to Meg Whitman’s […]

Carly Fiorina is notable for exactly one thing: like three weeks ago, she became famous for having the Internet’s worst website. She thought it would be enough, you see, to let people know that the worlds “Carly Fiorina” sort of sound like “California,” and this is how she expected to defeat Barbara Boxer for her […]

2010!  11:59 am February 10, 2009

Meg Whitman To Save California

by Jim Newell

Here’s former eBay CEO (and make-believe founder) Meg Whitman, the less terrible of John McCain’s two campaign CEO Henchwomen, announcing her run for California governor in 2010, on the YouTube! Ha she is so rich — she BOUGHT PRINCETON or something recently — so maybe she will win. But the choice of what appears to […]

John McCain, that poor little rich boy, was born in an Admiral’s Castle in the 16th Century, so of course he knows nothing about the Internets, which is why he often repeats some weird depressing thing about how millions of Americans are desperately selling off their meager consumer belongings on eBay, as if there’s something […]