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Posts Tagged ‘meet your candidates’

Oregon Senate Candidate: Actually Jesus?

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008


OMG. Steve Novick is a hobbit from Oregon who is running for Senate as a Democrat, and he also has a hook hand. He opens a beer with his HOOK HAND, and it’s among the better things we’ve seen in life. He also owns an HDTV and is an Arugula Liberal Elitist. Vote Steve Novick! We must get this man to Washington so he can open beers for us, like a pirate. [YouTube via Steve Novick]


Republican Congressional Candidate Videotapes People Having Sex!

Thursday, April 17th, 2008

Pennsylvania’s fifth congressional district front-runner, Republican Derek Walker, has been charged with two misdeameanors and four felonies for jaywalking repeatedly. And by jaywalking we mean stalking and videotaping some guy slamming Walker’s ex-girlfriend at her house. The question is, of course, whose sex bits was his camera focusing on? MORE »


Congressional Candidate Confuses Voters With Mystical Last Name

Thursday, March 27th, 2008


This is Bill Cahir, Iraq War veteran hero and Democratic congressional candidate from Pennsylvania’s 5th district. His last name is pronounced “Care,” as in “Care Bears.” Here is a video of him trying to explain the pronunciation to Pennsylvania’s rural voters, who don’t buy his fancy-pants space alien phonics. [YouTube via Philadelphia Will Do]