Gross: “Former U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo appears to be inching closer to getting into the Colorado gubernatorial race. While he has yet to formally declare his candidacy or fill out paperwork with the secretary of state’s office, the Littleton Republican on Thursday told a Westword reporter he ‘fully intends to run.’” Watch his first “spot” above! [Denver Post]

A New Jersey operative, “Leslie,” sends us a couple of scans and writes, “My father just called me and asked if I had read the 500 word essay on the NJ Governor’s Sample Ballot. I just did, and it is such beautiful madness, I had to share it with you.” It is a completely great essay from petition candidate Gary Stein, who is running with his wife on the “Fools Rush In” Party ticket. Let’s see what he has to say, about politics. MORE »

We do not where several tipsters first heard about this website for “George Hutchins,” a crazy person supposedly running for a North Carolina congressional seat in 2010, but it is very pretty to be sure. Before loading the page, know that you will have a mere 10 seconds to explore the site before your eyes start cursing at you and eventually melt. We recommend using your limited time to try to make sense of his Sir Walter Raleigh obsession. What is he trying to say? [George Hutchins for U.S. Congress 2010]

Oh ho ho, a secret human, unearthed? We have found the Third Goldberg: Lucianne, Jonah, and now Joshua — who is running for New York City Council representing the Upper West Side! As a Republican, of course, so… yeah. Just a complete waste of time, this campaign. MORE »

It has only been a week — one week — since Ted Kennedy died, and already some gal has exploited this by declaring her candidacy for the special election happening like 2 minutes from now. Her name is Martha Coakley and she has been the state’s Attorney General since 2006. We checked out her Wikipedia and there is absolutely nothing interesting or controversial on it. (There is for some weird thing about “Aqua Teen Hunger Force,” and how she released a couple of completely uninteresting and uncontroversial statements about its posters several years ago, as part of her job.) What else? She is experienced and stuff, with jobs. The ladies of M.A.D.D. think very highly of her, though, meaning she must not enjoy having awesome fun times and will probably pass annoying legislation about whatever. So just be extra careful, if she wins, to chew your two sticks of mint gum before turning the car on. [NYT/The Caucus]

Here’s the latest idiot, South Carolina state senator David Thomas (of Wendy’s fame!), who appears to have launched a 2010 congressional bid. His Twitter feed is loaded with goods: “Green tea (OK it’s Chi Comm stuff…shame, shame) is good sub every now and then for even MY fresh ground French roast… FRENCH,” “The Supreme Leader says I HAVE to get ready for work. Yes dear,” and, good god, “If anyone comes upon an article on the authority of the Fed, eg the Economist, please let me know.” Nice breeding, South Carolina. [Twitter via Indigo Journal]

Vote Krystal Ball for Congress, Virginia District 1! She’s 27 and had a baby at some point and this changed everything. “I said to myself, enough. I vowed, ‘I will protect Ella and all the babies like her in the First District of Virginia and throughout the country.’” Blah blah blah GREAT, Wonkette officially endorses this lady. [Krystal Ball For Congress via NBC Washington]

In early March, a gal named Rosanna Pulido won the Republican primary for the upcoming special congressional election in Illinois’ District 5, Rahm Emanuel’s former kingdom. She will lose. But not before making the funnies! She was the founder of the Illinois chapter of the Minutemen, because she *hates* the Mexicans. Once in a CNN interview she described John McCain as “just another politician that acts as if he was elected to represent the Mexican government.” Well maybe he was! AND YET, her most delightful comments came under the name “chicagolady” on the Free Republic website, where she wrote hilarious racist blather for five years until being recently outed. MORE »

A delightfully insane person has e-mailed us and approximately 400 other tip or info lines asking politely if he can be Senator from New York. He wants to take over for two years until Chelsea Clinton is 30 and can rightfully claim her seat. You must read (skim) his full blog post about this. “Oh- I’m just the ’strwaw man- so i’ll read the script, act the part, do the ’show’, and let my handlers, and staff run things- its simpler that way,” he writes, “for 2 years- till chelsea clinton is 30, and can take over the show..” The commentary is interspersed among dozens of photos of celebrities and politicians. [X-WIRE]

Here’s a hilarious new ad from Tennessee Democratic House candidate Nikki Tinker, which is the latest in her long history of comical antisemitism against Rep. Steve Cohen, a J-O-O. She tells him to get out of “OUR churches,” where he campaigns. Ha ha, she asks, “WHO IS THE REAL STEVE COHEN ANYWAY?” This is so awesome. Oh, and they have their Democratic primary tomorrow! Who will win, the black or the Jew? Ugh, what an awful choice to have to make. [YouTube]

OMG. Steve Novick is a hobbit from Oregon who is running for Senate as a Democrat, and he also has a hook hand. He opens a beer with his HOOK HAND, and it’s among the better things we’ve seen in life. He also owns an HDTV and is an Arugula Liberal Elitist. Vote Steve Novick! We must get this man to Washington so he can open beers for us, like a pirate. [YouTube via Steve Novick]