Tag: meet the press

Hillary Clinton Unleashes Comcast-Level Attack On Julian Assange

Julian Assange woke up Monday morning with no internets, AWWWWWWWWW.
Also, he doesn't have a good American-sounding name like 'Castellanos'

Trump Idiot: Something Seem *Different* About This Obama Fella To You Guys?

Gosh, that Barack Obama sure is a mystery. He's definitely a citizen, but is he really *American*?

Trump Campaign Manager Idiot Wishes Hillary Clinton Would Stop Calling Trump Names

Kellyanne Conway wishes Hillary would stop calling Trump names and ... we dunno, be better at scoring hot chicks?
Oh, just go fuck yourself.

Was The Clinton Campaign Hack A Secret Ménage à Trois Between Trump, Putin, and Julian Assange? Yeah Probs

The budding bro-mance in cyberspace of three unlikely idiots with an inferiority complex.

Mitch McConnell Hides Under His Shell From Mean Words Like ‘Racism’ And ‘Trump’

Mitch McConnell has a thing to say about racism, and that is "vote Trump!"
I *AM SO* PRESIDENTIAL!

Donald Trump Might Have To Shoot Paul Ryan In The Middle Of 5th Avenue

Donald Trump warned on TV Sunday that he hasn't ruled out replacing Paul Ryan as chairman of this summer's Republican National Convention. Now that Trump has ascended to the GOP nomination, he can do what he damned well pleases,...
Just a man who loves his country

Donald Trump Not To Blame For Simply Being Messenger Of Donald Trump’s Message

Donald Trump rallies, which started out as racist xenophobic hatefests of violent stupid, sure have escalated! Into racist xenophobic hatefests of violent stupid, but with the added fun of Hitlerian loyalty salutes and charming authentic frontier gibberish by his supporters, like this...

Mitt Romney Will Make His Buttocks Available For Kicking, If Needed

Mitt Romney is not running for president, OK? He has said several times now that he is not running for president. Sure, he might be thinking he looks awful darn good to the GOP now, given the unbelievable clustermess of...
You too can scam your way to the Republican nomination. Ask me how!

Trump’s ‘University’ Flopped Even Worse Than His Tiny Penis

While most of the excitement over Donald Trump Monday involved either his friendliness to the KKK or Marco Rubio's speculation about Trump's itsy-bitsy penis, we would also like to remind you all of something else that Donald Trump promised...
He's kind of a pussy.

Donald Trump Used To Think Iraq War Was Terrific, Just Terrific

Donald Trump has been all over the campaign trail lately, yelling about how he was against that stupid disastrous war in Iraq, that he had said this so many times all the time, and this proves that he will...
Trump can't help it if his reality is yooger and more interesting than anything on record

Donald Trump Rejects Chuck Todd’s 9/11 Reality, Replaces It With His Own

On NBC's Meet the Press Sunday, Donald Trump and host Chuck Todd had a spirited debate about the nature of reality, which left us wishing we could live in an alternative reality in which neither had been born. Todd...
Can we fix it? No, it's fucked.

Jeb Bush Will Fix All The Things, As Soon As He Figures Out What They Are

It's the beginning of a new week, which means America has a case of the Mondays, and Jeb Bush is brainstorming new ways to be a complete fuck-up. Last time we writed you words about Jeb!, we noted that...
At the back room of your local Planned Parenthood

President Ben Carson Will Emancipate Unborned Babies From Uterine Plantations

Ben Carson is doing that thing again where he lets extremely stupid words come out of his mouth, and then defends them because anyone criticizing him is a tool of the oppressive politically correct agenda that is ruining America....
If her mouth is open...

Lying Liar Carly Fiorina Not Happy Everyone Noticed She’s A Lying Liar

FACT: Carly Fiorina is a liar-liar-pantsuit-on-fire LIAR. She's been lying for more than a week about watching a fetus snuff flick that does not exist, as everyone in the known universe has pointed out to her, from the liberal(ish)...
For Ben, it's Raptor Jesus or nothing

Ben Carson Will Not Have A Muslim President Smearing Sharia On His Constitution

In the continuing nationwide Derp Wave unleashed by the idiot who asked what Donald Trump will do about America's Muslim Problem, Ben Carson at least gave a more definite answer than Trump did. Pity that it was kind of...
But his bosses didn't like him so they shot him into spaaaaace.

Canada Also Thinks Scott Walker Is A Idiot

Fresh off his disgraceful appearance on "Meet the Press," during which Gov. Scott Walker claimed discussions about the 14th Amendment are mere distraction from legitimate issues, like whether we should build a Mexican fence on the Canadian border, the...