Tag Archives: meet the press

  Here's a neat idea!

America About To Fall In Love With Scott Walker, Says Scott Walker

This will probably be news to you, America, but you are nanomilimicroseconds away from falling head over heels for Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker. True, you don’t love him now, and you’ve been liking him less and less all year, but that’s about to change. How do we know? Not because it says so on his hat, but because he said it, which pretty much makes it a fact. So, BOOM, ta da, and case closed. Read more on America About To Fall In Love With Scott Walker, Says Scott Walker…
  burn on!

John Kasich: Climate Change Is Real, And We Must Ignore It Immediately

This is a really unfair screenshot. But lookit the funny face!
Remember how, during the Republican primary debate Thursday, Ohio Gov. John Kasich (R-Who?) seemed almost sane compared to the other goofballs on the stage? Heck, unlike almost all the other not-a-scientists in the Republican field, he’s even said that climate change is real, although he doesn’t think we should do anything about it. On NBC’s Meet The Press Sunday, Chuck Todd congratulated him for being among the “big winners of Thursday’s debate” — largely on the merits of not coming off like a seething ragebag, we suppose — and mentioned a Time magazine piece comparing Kasich to Pope Francis, because “inclusive.” Kasich immediately backed away from the comparison, since the pope is way too much of an environmental extremist. Read more on John Kasich: Climate Change Is Real, And We Must Ignore It Immediately…
  Also Jesus Wrote Both

Ben Carson Not Sure Which Bible Parts Are The Boss Of The Constitution

And that's how America was made!
Here’s a fun moment from the very end of an interview with neurosurgeon and Jesus Man Ben Carson on “Meet the Press.” Chuck Todd passed along this query from Facebook user Victor Roush: “Simple question: Does the Bible have authority over the Constitution?” This is NOT a simple question, though, it’s a really tough question! After all, this is a guy who’s only running for president because God forced him to against his will, and who copied all his answers on a chemistry final from Jesus. Read more on Ben Carson Not Sure Which Bible Parts Are The Boss Of The Constitution…
  The beat made him do it?

Bill Cosby Doesn’t Cause Rape, That Jive-Bottomed Rap Music Causes Rape

It's that rhythm, man.
Ooh, it’s time for a fun flashback! So, you know how one of the big things about Bill Cosby is that he’s always been a moral scold, criticizing poor black people by calling them “no-grows,” and saying black kids wouldn’t get killed if they weren’t always pilfering pound cake, and how they don’t speak English good, and their mamas don’t talk good, and all that? And you know how it’s now common knowledge that that asshole has admitted to drugging girls with Quaaludes for rape-sex-type purposes? Read more on Bill Cosby Doesn’t Cause Rape, That Jive-Bottomed Rap Music Causes Rape…
  Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!

Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump’s Mouth Hole

Listen up, you Messico losers!
Hurray, Donald Trump has finally given America Donald Trump what America Donald Trump has always wanted, by running for president of the United Trumps States of Trump America. Since he is perhaps the most ridiculous person to pretend to run for president since the last time he pretended to run for president, we figured why don’t we all sit around the fireplace (probably built by Donald Trump) and tell some funny stories about the dumbest things Trump has ever said, kinda like we would do if he was dead. Let’s go! Read more on Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump’s Mouth Hole…
  Frothy logic

Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow

The more you know ...
We were surprised last week when, during Rick Santorum’s presidential campaign announcement, he completely forgot to talk about how The Lord Our God hateth the homosexuals, since that is the most important thing in his world. Sure, he sort of touched on “religious freedom,” or his conception of it, but there was no clear “gays are gross” moment. Never fear, though, because he went on the Meet The Press program with beard-haver Chuck Todd, to explain how he will fight back against the Supreme Court, when it (most likely) throat-crams America with gay marriage at the end of this month: Read more on Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow…
  Here have some news n stuff

John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done

Speaker of the House John Boehner appeared on “Meet the Press” Sunday and said a whole bunch of dumb stuff. On the death of Freddie Gray and the charges brought against six Baltimore police officers: “Public servants should not violate the law.” That’s deep. Maybe Congress ought to make a law about that. Also, the solution to impoverished cities like Baltimore? Lower taxes. Of course! As for the any-day-now national marriage equality? Yeah, he still “believes in traditional marriage,” but it’s not like he’s a bigoted asshole, blah blah blah, same ol’ thang, not gonna matter soon anyway. Shockingly, he still thinks Obamacare is THE WORST, and he says a whole bunch of dumb words about that. Then there’s the trade deal President Obama is trying to make happen, even though Democrats are really not into it. You know whose fault it is that Congress hasn’t acted on that yet? Not the dude in charge of the House; don’t be ridiculous. Nah, man, it’s Hillary Clinton’s fault: Read more on John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

No real reason for including Raptor Jesus here. We just like Raptor Jesus better than Ben Carson.
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  Take that haters

Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!

He's got his eye on you now, NYP
Fact: Donald Trump gave the very bestest speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit over the weekend. How do we know that’s true? Because Donald Trump says so, duh, even though the New York Post is spreading vicious lies, which we know are vicious lies because Donald Trump said so about that too: Read more on Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!…
  No country for Lindsey Graham

Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham

Southern gentleman and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham appeared on “Meet the Press” on Sunday — guess John McCain was busy blah blahing on all the other Sunday shows — to say that he is definitely considering running for president if he can find enough rich white men to vote him into office. (Nope, he cannot. But he already knows that, on account of how he said so in 2012, when, in an odd moment of honesty he confessed that his beloved Grand Ol’ Party is “not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”) Read more on Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham…
  Must Be A Day Ending In Y

Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)

David Brooks Is Wrong
Sometimes David Brooks says things that are true or correct. However, this does not occur in the above clip from Meet the Press, a popular television fiasco. Not even once! Can we divide David Brooks’ clump of TV words into complete sentences and explain why each of them is wrong? We can. Read more on Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)…
  Laugh While You Can Chuckie Boy

Chuck Todd Of All People Worries Comedy Has Dumbed Down Politics

But doesn't he always look like that?
Despite a crappy straw-man premise, Meet the Press aired a fairly decent discussion of the role of comedy in political discussion Sunday, mostly thanks to a panel that included comedians and writers Lewis Black, Laura Krafft, and W. Kamau Bell, and not hindered too much by host Chuck Todd. Todd introduced the segment by referring to a recent piece in Salon that argues that Jon Stewart’s “both sides do it” irony is not especially good political satire, which Todd immediately mischaracterized as saying that “political satire is dumbing down politics.” The Salon piece, by Elias Isquith, actually says nothing of the sort. Isquith argues that Stewart’s particular style of satire is all too often superficial, and that in an effort to not seem biased, Stewart “tends to inspire glib cynicism more than outrage or understanding.” So yes, in setting up the segment, Chuck Todd dumbed down the very piece that he claimed inspired it. Happily, once he turned the discussion over to the actual comedians, things got a lot better: Read more on Chuck Todd Of All People Worries Comedy Has Dumbed Down Politics…
  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of
Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and vice president of the previous administration both make appearances, but with last week’s release of the Senate’s torture report, both men might have been feeling the need to defend their legacy a bit. Surely there would be some tough questions and intense showdowns. Read more on Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something…
  Here have some news n stuff

Another White Guy Wants To Know Why No One Protests Blacks Killing Each Other

Some guy who thinks he still matters
As Ferguson, Missouri, braces for the grand jury’s decision on whether to charge Officer Darren Wilson with killing teenager Michael Brown, some loser ex-mayor who suffers from severe delusions about his own relevance (a condition apparently also suffered by whoever books guests for “Meet the Press”) asks a question that has never, EVER been asked before: What about black people, HUH? Read more on Another White Guy Wants To Know Why No One Protests Blacks Killing Each Other…
  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  Very Serious Journamalism Meets Very Serious Talking Points

GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing

Just trying to remember which talking point works here
In the never-ending quest to prove that every member of the Republican Party is dumber than he (or she, there are like half a dozen chicks too!) looks, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus went on Meet The Press Sunday to really drive the message home again some more again some more. Read more on GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing…