Tag Archives: meet the press

  Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!

Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump’s Mouth Hole

This is what Donald Trump looks like when he's about to Say A Smart.
Hurray, Donald Trump has finally given America Donald Trump what America Donald Trump has always wanted, by running for president of the United Trumps States of Trump America. Since he is perhaps the most ridiculous person to pretend to run for president since the last time he pretended to run for president, we figured why don’t we all sit around the fireplace (probably built by Donald Trump) and tell some funny stories about the dumbest things Trump has ever said, kinda like we would do if he was dead. Let’s go! Read more on Here Are 12 Of The Stupidest Things Ever To Come Out Of Donald Trump’s Mouth Hole…
  Frothy logic

Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow

Portrait of a warrior.
We were surprised last week when, during Rick Santorum’s presidential campaign announcement, he completely forgot to talk about how The Lord Our God hateth the homosexuals, since that is the most important thing in his world. Sure, he sort of touched on “religious freedom,” or his conception of it, but there was no clear “gays are gross” moment. Never fear, though, because he went on the Meet The Press program with beard-haver Chuck Todd, to explain how he will fight back against the Supreme Court, when it (most likely) throat-crams America with gay marriage at the end of this month: Read more on Human Dental Dam Rick Santorum To Stop SCOTUS From Doing Gay Stuff To America, Somehow…
  Here have some news n stuff

John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done

Speaker of the House John Boehner appeared on “Meet the Press” Sunday and said a whole bunch of dumb stuff. On the death of Freddie Gray and the charges brought against six Baltimore police officers: “Public servants should not violate the law.” That’s deep. Maybe Congress ought to make a law about that. Also, the solution to impoverished cities like Baltimore? Lower taxes. Of course! As for the any-day-now national marriage equality? Yeah, he still “believes in traditional marriage,” but it’s not like he’s a bigoted asshole, blah blah blah, same ol’ thang, not gonna matter soon anyway. Shockingly, he still thinks Obamacare is THE WORST, and he says a whole bunch of dumb words about that. Then there’s the trade deal President Obama is trying to make happen, even though Democrats are really not into it. You know whose fault it is that Congress hasn’t acted on that yet? Not the dude in charge of the House; don’t be ridiculous. Nah, man, it’s Hillary Clinton’s fault: Read more on John Boehner Wants To Know Why Hillary Clinton Isn’t Helping Congress Get Stuff Done…
  Science: Pretty Good Except For The Fake Parts

Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)

We really can all get along. *CHOMP!*
The Liberal Media tried to Gotcha! Conservahero Ben Carson again this weekend, and once more he escaped the Logic Snares set for him by secularist tricksters. He is not going to fall for your little traps, LIEberals! On NBC’s Meet the Press Sunday, Chuck Todd asked Carson how “science and religion, in your mind, coexist” — an obvious attempt to try to get him to talk about Evolution, which as any good Christian knows is poppycock. Read more on Ben Carson Lays Down Some Science For You (Depending On Your Value For ‘Science’)…
  Take that haters

Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!

He's got his eye on you now, NYP
Fact: Donald Trump gave the very bestest speech at the Iowa Freedom Summit over the weekend. How do we know that’s true? Because Donald Trump says so, duh, even though the New York Post is spreading vicious lies, which we know are vicious lies because Donald Trump said so about that too: Read more on Donald Trump: Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump Trump. TRUMP!…
  No country for Lindsey Graham

Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham

Southern gentleman and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham appeared on “Meet the Press” on Sunday — guess John McCain was busy blah blahing on all the other Sunday shows — to say that he is definitely considering running for president if he can find enough rich white men to vote him into office. (Nope, he cannot. But he already knows that, on account of how he said so in 2012, when, in an odd moment of honesty he confessed that his beloved Grand Ol’ Party is “not generating enough angry white guys to stay in business for the long term.”) Read more on Forget Bushes And Clintons: John McCain Will Start Dynasty With ‘Illegitimate Son’ Lindsey Graham…
  Must Be A Day Ending In Y

Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)

David Brooks Is Wrong
Sometimes David Brooks says things that are true or correct. However, this does not occur in the above clip from Meet the Press, a popular television fiasco. Not even once! Can we divide David Brooks’ clump of TV words into complete sentences and explain why each of them is wrong? We can. Read more on Literally Every Sentence David Brooks Says About Paris Shootings Is Wrong (VIDEO)…
  Laugh While You Can Chuckie Boy

Chuck Todd Of All People Worries Comedy Has Dumbed Down Politics

But doesn't he always look like that?
Despite a crappy straw-man premise, Meet the Press aired a fairly decent discussion of the role of comedy in political discussion Sunday, mostly thanks to a panel that included comedians and writers Lewis Black, Laura Krafft, and W. Kamau Bell, and not hindered too much by host Chuck Todd. Todd introduced the segment by referring to a recent piece in Salon that argues that Jon Stewart’s “both sides do it” irony is not especially good political satire, which Todd immediately mischaracterized as saying that “political satire is dumbing down politics.” The Salon piece, by Elias Isquith, actually says nothing of the sort. Isquith argues that Stewart’s particular style of satire is all too often superficial, and that in an effort to not seem biased, Stewart “tends to inspire glib cynicism more than outrage or understanding.” So yes, in setting up the segment, Chuck Todd dumbed down the very piece that he claimed inspired it. Happily, once he turned the discussion over to the actual comedians, things got a lot better: Read more on Chuck Todd Of All People Worries Comedy Has Dumbed Down Politics…
  How can we miss you if you don't stay away?

Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something

Dick Cheney auditions for a reboot of
Sunday was a good day for the bookers on a couple of those political chat shows where Washington’s power brokers yap at each other in brazen displays of verbal hand jobbery. It’s not every week that the president and vice president of the previous administration both make appearances, but with last week’s release of the Senate’s torture report, both men might have been feeling the need to defend their legacy a bit. Surely there would be some tough questions and intense showdowns. Read more on Dick Cheney Tortures Us By Making Us Look At More Of George Bush’s Paintings Or Something…
  Here have some news n stuff

Another White Guy Wants To Know Why No One Protests Blacks Killing Each Other

Some guy who thinks he still matters
As Ferguson, Missouri, braces for the grand jury’s decision on whether to charge Officer Darren Wilson with killing teenager Michael Brown, some loser ex-mayor who suffers from severe delusions about his own relevance (a condition apparently also suffered by whoever books guests for “Meet the Press”) asks a question that has never, EVER been asked before: What about black people, HUH? Read more on Another White Guy Wants To Know Why No One Protests Blacks Killing Each Other…
  If It's Sunday It's A Good Thing There's A 2:00 Replay

Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary

We have to admit, Wonketteers, that we did not stick to our Chuck Todd diet. We really did intend to get up every Sunday for Meet the Press to see Chuck’s tough questioning of the Biggest Names in News and stay in shape with his touchscreen map upper-body workouts, but it wasn’t until his first show after the Democrats were sent to live on the farm upstate that he enticed us to come back by landing an EXCLUSIVE interview with Scott Walker, King of Wisconsin. Read more on Scott Walker: Only ‘Fresh, Organic’ GOP Governors Can Beat Moldy Old Hillary…
  Very Serious Journamalism Meets Very Serious Talking Points

GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing

Just trying to remember which talking point works here
In the never-ending quest to prove that every member of the Republican Party is dumber than he (or she, there are like half a dozen chicks too!) looks, Republican National Committee Chairman Reince Priebus went on Meet The Press Sunday to really drive the message home again some more again some more. Read more on GOP Will Give Pregnant Ladies ‘Whatever It Is That We Can Offer’ Except For One Little Thing…
  first day of school

Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills

Chuck Todd is so excited, you guys! It’s his first week as the new host of Meet the Press. That other guy with two first names failed his way into a $4 million buyout and NBC, looking to bring back the powerhouse once steered by Tim Russert, took the opportunity to slip Tim’s son Luke and Morning Misery Joe Scarborough in along with Chuck to lend the proper gravitas. We couldn’t wait to see Chuck’s debut Sunday morning, by which we mean we slept in and caught the late rerun. Read more on Chuck Todd Meets The Press, Needs To Improve Listening Skills…
  Shameless self-promotion

Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever

Buy it now
Do you need yet one more reason to ignore NBC’s “Meet the Press” because you can’t get enough of John McCain and the weekly parade of the same old white dudes saying the same old white dude things? What the heck is wrong with you? FINE, be that way. Have one more reason. Heck, have two, courtesy of the New York Post’s Page Six: Read more on Meet The Press Is About To Get So Much Worse; You Need This Coffee Mug More Than Ever…
  Your morning cup of wut?

It’s Labor Day (In Case You Didn’t Know) And Other News You Can Maybe Use

If it's Sunday ... it's probably still going to suck
Everyone enjoy having the day off, except for those of you who don’t have the day off. Also, enjoy some news. Now that NBC has gotten rid of that old host of “Meet the Press” — David something? Who can remember? — the whole gang is real excited about Chuck Todd. Sundays are going to be so awesome now! Read more on It’s Labor Day (In Case You Didn’t Know) And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  If it's Sunday David Gregory's sitting around unemployed

David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company

This is definitely the saddest news of the day. No, the week. No, the century. Basically, it is the saddest thing ever. EVER. NBC’s David Gregory, best known for asking really great questions on “Meet the Press” and getting his objective journalist on by dancing with Karl Rove at the 2007 nerd prom, has been sacked. Ousted. Booted. Shit-canned. Read more on David Gregory Booted From NBC, At Least He Has $4 Million To Keep Him Company…
  clipbait

Will.i.am Was On Meet The Press Yesterday And We Have No Idea Why

Continuing his trend of inexplicably receiving attention, rapper Will.i.am (lord, do you know how long it takes to type his name that stupid way?) appeared on Meet the Press yesterday, apparently as “an Obama supporter and philanthropist.” Was George Soros unavailable? Meet the Press also let him debate Representative Jason Chaffetz (R-UT) about private versus public sector job creation, among other things, because when we think job creator, we think “Black-Eyed Peas frontman who has a habit of wearing really stupid hats.” Read more on Will.i.am Was On Meet The Press Yesterday And We Have No Idea Why…
  If it's Sunday it's gee what else is on TV?

NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard

If you are a Reglar ‘Merican person who has occasionally flipped to NBC’s Meet the Press on a hungover Sunday morning, thinking the vapid tones of whatever panel of white men plus John McCain is appearing that day might somehow relieve your headache and nausea, only to find it worsened when you were compelled to throw things at your television and scream “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!” then you already know exactly what is wrong with NBC’s has-been Sunday talk show. Like every other Sunday morning talk show, it is, at best, the same rotating cast of a dozen or so professional beltway pontificators explaining how Democrats are like THIS, but Republicans are like THAT, with the occasional “some say” or “both sides do it” interruption from the milquetoast moderator — in this case, David Gregory, who plays a Very Serious Journalist on the tee vee, even though he’s really always wanted to be a dancer. Sometimes, he awakens from his half-coma enough to journosplain who is and isn’t a JournalistTM, as defined by David Gregory. (It feels a tad superfluous, even malicious, to remind you once more than David Gregory was a back-up dancer to Karl Rove at the annual gathering of Very Serious Journalists Stroking Themselves Approvingly in Tuxedos, also known as the White House Correspondents Dinner. It is superfluous and malicious, but we just did it anyway because Jesus H. Christ, if you are a back-up dancer to “MC Rove,” you do not ever EVER NEVER NOT EVER get to define who is and is not a journalist.) If, however, you are NBC, you are apparently shocked and amazed that Gregory’s show is getting its ass ratings-kicked by, among others, Pretend to Face the Nation, hosted by practically dead Bob Schieffer. How could this once great show — and by once great, of course, we merely mean that it used to be the top rated show on Sunday when it was hosted by Tim Russert, who at least had a personality, plus a chalkboard — no longer be revered or, like, watched? Time to call in A Expert: Last year, the network undertook an unusual assessment of the 43-year-old journalist, commissioning a psychological consultant to interview his friends and even his wife. The idea, according to a network spokeswoman, Meghan Pianta, was “to get perspective and insight from people who know him best.”* We’re going to take a quick commercial break so we can all die of laughter. When we return, for those who managed to survive, we’ll try to imagine exactly how this “consultation” works. Then we will die of laughter some more. Read more on NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard…
  clipbait

Super Tough Guy David Brooks Not Sure That Bamz Has Enough Cojones For A Real Man Like Vladimir Putin

New York Times columnist David Brooks, whose only real expertise is chronicling the lives of the slightly disaffected but mostly pretty happy upper middle class exurban dweller, decided to go on “Meet the Press” Sunday to explain how Obama just isn’t man enough to handle the Middle East. Let’s go to the tape to hear Brooks’s fact-free slurring! Read more on Super Tough Guy David Brooks Not Sure That Bamz Has Enough Cojones For A Real Man Like Vladimir Putin…
  only suckers pay their bills

Happy Obamacare Deadline Day! PS: Rick Santorum Thinks You Are Lazy

With the open enrollment deadline for the Affordable Healthcare Act punching Americans in the face today, former senator and losing presidential contender Rick Santorum just wants to be clear that since only 6 million or so people signed up for the ACA, the program is a complete failure. On Meet the Press, Chuck Todd asked the Frothy One if he “felt vindicated” for his many attacks on Obamacare during the 2012 Republican primaries, and as it turns out, he is pretty pleased with himself: “Well, it was the issue in 2010 that caused us to have the tea party revolution,” Santorum asserted. “It was all around the issue of health care. And this election is going to be all around the issue of health care.” That’s pretty persuasive, all right! It sort of leaves out how Mitt Romney trounced Obama in the 2012 election, but it sure proves that scaring people about death panels is a good way to get them to vote in a midterm. Also, we seem to remember something about the tea party revolution being about the fake Kenyan dictator who was a socialist, too. But yes, if people were angry about it in 2010, that pretty much proves that the ACA has failed in 2014, doesn’t it? Read more on Happy Obamacare Deadline Day! PS: Rick Santorum Thinks You Are Lazy…
  four and twenty blackburns baked in a nye

Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)

So the slightly hyped Big Climate Change “Debate” between science education advocate and teevee guy Bill Nye and Tennessee congresspillock Marsha Blackburn on Sunday’s Meet The Press actually turned out to be a whopping 13-minute segment, which was short enough that no real details could be explained, yet long enough to make a viewer yearn for the sweet release of death. The only good thing to be said for it was that host David Gregory framed it as a debate on climate change policy, although of course Blackburn predictably insisted the very question of human-caused climate change is still open. We suspect that in 2114 people boating through the canals of Nuevo Miami will still be arguing about whether the evidence is sufficient yet. Read more on Marsha Blackburn Wins Climate Change ‘Debate’ With Bill Nye! (Does Not Fling Actual Poo)…
  blackburn singin' in the dread of nye

Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet

Fresh off his not-really-a-debate (though he won) appearance with creationist Ken Ham, Science Guy Bill Nye will take on another leading proponent of nonscience, Tennessee Rep. Marsha Blackburn, in a not-really-a-debate appearance on this Sunday’s Meet The Press on NBC. As we said about the Ham On Nye show, it’s not really going to prove anything, and more to the point, unlike questions like “is Neil Degrasse Tyson cuter than Carl Sagan?” or “Was Alexander Hamilton a good President?”* science is simply not a matter of opinion. On the other hand, Bill Nye is super awesome and probably better at communicating about science to a popluar audience than a real climate scientist would be, and we think it will be fun to watch him take Blackburn’s illogic apart. So as infotainment, it will be worth watching, even though we share most of Wonket alumnus Alex Pareene’s qualms that by even holding the “debate,” Meet the Press “is responsible for taking the anti-science side seriously enough to present it as a legitimate and defensible view.” But hell, that’s pretty much where a lot of viewers already are. They could only benefit from hearing it from a guy who’s pretty adept at explaining how science works, and it’s not like refusing to engage the anti-science crowd has shown them to be illegitimate. Better to take their nonsense apart and make it clear why it’s nonsense. Read more on Bill Nye, Science Guy, To Perform His Most Dangerous Feat Yet…