medicine
Socialized ER Care Is Such A Sweet Deal, Unless You Have Ball Cancer
Isn’t it wonderful to live in the land of socialized health care, where You People can all go to the ER of our local hospitals and receive medical services that everyone else pays for? As Mitt pointed out, “If someone has a heart attack, they don’t sit in their apartment and die. We pick them [...]
Mitt Romney To Nutter Rapey Doctor Last Year: ‘We Agree On Almost Everything’
You may have heard over the past few days of Dr. Jack Willke (because you read Wonkette with slavish devotion), the crazy man who spreads the lie that you can’t get pregnant if you’re goodly and righteously raped. You probably also heard that he was buddy-buddy with Mitt Romney in 2008, because Mitt Romney would [...]
You Still Can’t Take A Chicken To The Doctor Unless It Is A Chicken Doctor
Remember that LA Times article from a couple months back where they revealed that the average American family pays about $20,000 for health care every year? And then ran the article with a picture of a Hyundai sedan, because they are charging $20,000 for a Hyundai sedan these days? Anyway, turns out that’s only true [...]
Bristol Palin’s Facelift Was ‘Necessary For Medical Reasons’
Sure, it seemed strange when we read famed Hollywood reproducer Bristol Palin was moving “to Los Angeles from Wasilla, Alaska” to live with two black people and will be “working” at “a job” for what will be the most fictional show in the history of American television, not the least because, as we are embarrased [...]
Evil Stem Cells Further Gay Agenda By Curing Guy With HIV
Doctors in Germany believe they have cured a 42-year-old man of HIV after giving him a stem cell transplant three years ago, apparent Halloween-novelty medical journal Blood reports. Well isn’t this just great news for the Gay Agenda. Germany, as we all know, is where the Nazis came from, so it should come as no [...]
GOOD THING BARACK OBAMA DID NOT ALSO ASK THAT AMERICA RECEIVE THIS TOO: Hey mazel tov to the three Americans who have WON the Nobel Prize in Medicine and therefore the morning. It is also the first time that two lady scientists have shared the prize. “The three scientists won the prize for experiments that [...]
Butterstick Takes It Up The Hindquarters For Science
The life of Butterstick the National Zoo panda follows an all-too-common trajectory: we’ve seen him grow from adorable infant to teenage crack-whore to compulsive leg-humper and now, to a middle-aged adult with irritable bowels.
Person Who Answers To Wolf Blitzer Will Run America’s Doctors
Hey Obama waited until the last minute to pick a surgeon general, the government’s top doctor! SHIT SHIT SHIT who should he pick?? Uh uh uhhhhhh… quick, without even thinking: name a famous real-life teevee doctor! Him? Sure, fine, whatever, he can run America’s doctors.
New Map Proves America Is Spongy Tumor
Ewww, observe this gross map! This eye-searing cross between a ribeye steak and a six-week fetus is supposed to illustrate something important about voting patterns by representing the size of a state according to population rather than acreage. This frees sad coastal Democrats from the “tyranny of geography” and puts uppity Wyoming Republicans in their [...]
Cabal Of Doctors To Declare John McCain Physically Sound(ish)
Wonkette’s Week in Review
BILL FRIST — Senator by Day, Miracle-Worker by Slightly Earlier in the Day
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