Medicare
In Ploy To Weaken Obamacare, GOP Geniuses Give Obama More Power Over Obamacare
Back in November, the United States held an election that you might have heard about. And in that election one B. Barry Bamz trounced the ever loving shit out of some dude, what was his name, the guy with the hair? Unfortunately, the hair guy’s party held on to the House of Representatives and its [...]
Tennessee’s Health Care Plan: Call Now For A Chance to Apply For A Chance To Win
Here at Wonkette, we like to provide you with news you can use. Lately, we’ve been trying to keep a handy list of states we don’t want to live in ever, and we advise you Wonkigonians to avoid as well. We’ve already provided you with key reasons to get the hell out of Texas, Oklahoma, [...]
Paul Ryan Unveils Budget, Makes ‘White Rabbit’ Our New National Anthem
It is budget season again in Washington, D.C., which means it is time for the villagers in our nation’s capital to pretend that a plan written by Congressman Paul Ryan, who was last seen on election night icing down his tuchus after being spanked hard by Barry Bamz and Old Handsome Joe Biden, is not [...]
Ready The FEMA Camps: Obama Coming For Your Rascal So You Can’t Run Or Hide
They tried to warn us. “Government out of my Medicare!” they said. “Something about socialized medicine and Dr. Mengele,” said they. But did we listen? Or did we just howl with laughter? WELL NO ONE’S LAUGHING NOW, BUDDY. And that is because Barack Hussein Nobumer has criminalized being old, in the form of raiding The [...]
Minnesota Conducts Fun ‘Experiment’ On Its Olds, Poors
Guess what happens when middle aged people are given a $400-per-month voucher to purchase health care in the Free Market. Guess! Just guess! Did you guess?
Rick Santorum Will Gladly Compromise With Democrats To Ruin Social Security For You
Oh finally, Rick Santorum has written a column on the Hill, weighing in on the election and What It Means! And What It Means is that the GOP will FINALLY, after all this time, cooperate with President Obama on cutting Social Security and privatizing Medicare. So the fact that Americans went to the polls and [...]
Listen Up As Karl Rove Explains Why Seniors Will Flock To GOP To Kill Medicare For Them
Who among you supposed — nay, dreamed — way back in 2008 that Karl Rove, having completed his task of gifting George W. Bush to America, would take his balls and go home and stop messing around with democracy? Well, we hate to be the bearers of bad news, but not only does he have [...]
Romney Declares ‘FIRST!’ With Savvy, Ludicrous Medicare Ad
Oh goodie, the Very Serious Campaign About Our Series National Issues that was predicted after Mitt Romney’s selection of Paul Ryan is proceeding just as expected with this ad, in which the Romney-Ryan campaign explains to seniors that it’s Obama who guts Medicare, not the Paul Ryan-worshipping Republican party. We explained this paper-thin plan of [...]
Herman Cain Not Entirely Sure What This Medicare Thing Is
Serial scumball Newt Gingrich and banal grifter idiot Herman Cain held some kind of “modified Lincoln Douglas style debate” Saturday night, which attracted exactly as much media attention as Newt Gingrich desperately blathering reasons why he deserves Herman Cain’s veep pick on a Saturday night as you’d expect. There was exactly one fun part, when [...]
In Hopes Someone Will Pay Attention, Romney Proposes Killing Medicare
Dull little rich boy Mitt Romney can’t get Republicans to love him, because he loves the Wrong Jesus and also was the creator of Obamacare in Taxachusetts. The news media, meanwhile, will only write about where Herman Cain would’ve liked to stick his dong, and the money he paid to silence the ladies about his [...]
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