Tag Archives: medical marijuana

  Got some big math test to study for or something?

Kids These Days So Lame They Don’t Even Get Potted Up On Legal Weed

DO NOT DO THAT, KIDS, IT IS A JOKE.
We’ve been hearing the arguments for years from the Reefer Madness crowd: If you legalize drugs, then EVERYBODY will get potted up on weed, because removing the “forbidden fruit” aspect from things always makes them more appealing. Well it turns out that, according to a new study, legalizing medical marijuana does not lead to an increase in stoner teenagers, despite what you were warned. In fact, overall rates of teens doing the pot has DROPPED slightly in states that have legalized medical pot: Read more on Kids These Days So Lame They Don’t Even Get Potted Up On Legal Weed…
  that's some catch

Colorado Supreme Court Solves Pressing Problem Of Stoner Quadriplegics In The Workplace

Nice try, weedhead quadrilegics!
So now that Colorado has legalized people getting all potted up on weed for both medical and recreational purposes, you might think everything is mellow and awesome and Doritos sales are through the roof, right? You would think wrong, though, as the Colorado Supreme Court decided Monday morning that the state’s “lawful activities statute” didn’t protect a quadriplegic man from being fired for use of medical marijuana at home, even though he never used it at work and had an excellent work history. Read more on Colorado Supreme Court Solves Pressing Problem Of Stoner Quadriplegics In The Workplace…
  it won’t hurt a bit we swear

Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup

So you guys already know how dumb Florida is. But can you imagine how dumb Florida’s community colleges are? No you cannot. Here, have a gander: Two Florida college students say they were forced to submit to vaginal probes as part of a medical training program and were threatened with blacklisting if they declined. Read more on Step Right Up And Get Your Vaginal Probe: Your Florida Roundup…
  Live free and lose your kids

Cool, Kansas Is Ripping Kids Away From Medical Marijuana Advocates Now

Suppose you are a medical marijuana advocate, having successfully used cannabis oil to treat your own Crohn’s Disease. And suppose you lived for a time in Colorado, where medical marijuana is legal, but then, because fate apparently hates you, you were sentenced to move to the ugly state next door, Kansas, where marijuana in all its forms is illegal. And suppose you have an 11-year-old son who was forced to endure a fact-free anti-drug session at school, where he decided to point out that, hey, some of reefer madness talking points are not true. Would you think the state would take your child from you that day? Because that’s what happened to Shona Banda of Wichita: Read more on Cool, Kansas Is Ripping Kids Away From Medical Marijuana Advocates Now…
  Here have some news n stuff

President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’

Cataracts, obviously
If the President Barry H. Bamz (D-Choom Gang) thinks medical marijuana might be good for you, who are we to argue? CNN’s chief medical correspondent Sanjay Gupta, a vocal supporter of the legalization of medical marijuana, asks Obama in the documentary [“WEED 3″]if he supports the goals of a historic Senate bill introduced in March that seeks to make several major changes in federal law, including drastically reducing the federal government’s ability to crack down on state-legal medical marijuana programs, encouraging more research into the plant and reclassifying marijuana as a less dangerous drug. Read more on President Obama Is Maybe Cool With You Tokin’ Up, For Your ‘Health’…
  One Toke Over The Party Line

Suddenly Everyone* Wants To Legalize Weed (*Not Everyone)

The latest Stoned Pony
To bring to life the old cliché that libertarians are just Republicans who want to get high, a couple of conservatives have unexpectedly supported various changes to marijuana laws this week. What’s more, there’s even a bill in the U.S. Senate to end the federal ban on medical weed and reclassify marijuana’s legal status from a Schedule 1 to a Schedule 2 drug, thus “allowing doctors to recommend its use in some cases to veterans, expanding access to researchers and making it easier for banks to provide services to the industry.” Read more on Suddenly Everyone* Wants To Legalize Weed (*Not Everyone)…
  First Doob No Harm

New Surgeon General Will Get America Higher Than A Richard Linklater Movie

Cancer patients have a lot of laughs too!
In yet another sign that the Apotcalypse is nearly upon us, the recently confirmed surgeon general of the United States, Vivek Murthy, said on national television that marijuana just might not be a demon weed that inevitably leads mild-mannered accountants to go on murderous rampages, fourth graders mainlining heroin, or college sophomores reading Ayn Rand. Read more on New Surgeon General Will Get America Higher Than A Richard Linklater Movie…
  Smoke your medicine

Colorado Is Gonna Smoke All The Marijuana — For Science!

It's for SCIENCE
Now that every single person in Colorado is hiiiiiiiigh on the reefer — except for lawyers; no weed for you, esquires — the state is going to invest your hard-earned pot dollars in scientific research to find out just how freakin’ awesome medical marijuana really is: Read more on Colorado Is Gonna Smoke All The Marijuana — For Science!…
  don't bogart the vote

Burning Issues: Is That Weed On Your Ballot?

Our great nation is in danger of falling under the influence of Reefer Madness this Election Day, with weed-related ballot questions in three states plus that fake state the “District of Columbia.” America, what has gotten into you? It’s almost like rational adults started interpreting statistics that say marijuana is less dangerous than alcohol to mean that they should maybe try making pot not such a huge crime. Read more on Burning Issues: Is That Weed On Your Ballot?…
  everybody must get stoned

Reagan Drug Czar Says Weed Won’t Make You Gay Anymore But Will Still Kill You

Florida: This could be us but you playin'.
On Tuesday, Floridians have an important decision to make at the polls. No, not whether they prefer Medicare fraudster Rick “Bat Boy” Scott or walking bottle of bronzer Charlie Crist as their next governor. We’re thinking of a much more important issue: Should Florida legalize medical marijuana? Read more on Reagan Drug Czar Says Weed Won’t Make You Gay Anymore But Will Still Kill You…
  Vote: It's Your Civic Doobie

Meet Your New Favorite Pot-Smoking Candidate For Governor Of Rhode Island

Her name is Anne Armstrong, and while she says she’s going to be the next governor of Rhode Island, we’re thinking probably not. For one, she’s a write-in candidate, so unless her name is Lisa Murkowski and she’s running as a write-in for Alaska senator, her chances of victory are … let’s see … zero? Yes, our gay math wizards tell us her chances are zero. In fact, pollsters for some strange reason haven’t even bothered to include her name in their polling calculations. Read more on Meet Your New Favorite Pot-Smoking Candidate For Governor Of Rhode Island…
  Your morning cup of wut?

‘Convert Them Or Kill Them,’ Said Jesus And Other News You Can Maybe Use

Actual photo from Sermon on the Mount
We have good news (weed and boobs) and bad news (Dana Milbank). Which do you want first? Too bad, here’s what you’re getting. Now that Duck Dynasty Derphead Phil Robertson is tourin’ the teevee to sell his “book,” we’ll probably be suffering through many of his deep thoughts. Like what Jesus would say about fightin’ terra-rists: Read more on ‘Convert Them Or Kill Them,’ Said Jesus And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Your morning cup of wut?

Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use

I actually have no idea how to do this
It is a day. Of the week. Here is some news: Mitt Romney gave an interview to Hugh Hewitt. He promised really a lot that he is not going to try to not be president for a third time, really, he swears, unless the entire Republican Party that never liked him begs him to run and lose again, pretty please, with a cherry on top. That is not going to happen. People are talking about it anyway. He’s still not going to be president. The end. Read more on Mitt Romney Is STILL Never Going To Be President, Pot Saves Lives, And Other News You Can Maybe Use…
  Nice time: Gettin' hiiiiiiiigh edition

House Votes For Sane Marijuana Thing, And We’re Still Mad Anyway

So the House did an amazingly rational thing — yes, we are all quite shocked, quite — and voted to prohibit “the DEA from spending funds to arrest state-licensed medical marijuana patients.” Hooray! We can smoke ’em if we got ’em for medical reasons! The bill passed with bipartisan support, 219-189. Finally, Democrats and Republicans can agree on something. As Rep. Dana Rohrabacher so perfectly stated, it “should be a no-brainer,” especially for states’ rights loving conservatives. Which is why he so eloquently and compassionately freedomsplained: “Some people are suffering and if a doctor feels that he needs to prescribe something to alleviate that suffering it is immoral for this government to get in the way,” Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Calif.) said. “And that’s what’s happening. The state governments have recognized that a doctor has a right to treat his patient in any way he sees fit and so did our founding fathers. I ask for support for my amendment.” Good point, sir. Quite noble to acknowledge that a doctor should be able to treat “his” (not her, of course) patient, just like Thomas Jesus Jefferson wanted and that to interfere with that most holy of private relationships is in fact immoral. Rohrabacher also debunked the junk science mentioned by some of his Republican colleagues who are proud graduates of the Acme School of Medicine for Wingnuts that marijuana has no medical benefits. “Over half the states have already gone through every argument that was presented and decided against what you just heard,” Rohrabacher argued. “There are doctors in every one of those states that participated in a long debate over this and found exactly the opposite of what we’ve heard today.” How could you argue with doctors? And science? And after all, as conservatives who believe in states’ rights, who is the federal government to tell those states what to do? Especially when it is a private matter between doctors and patients about how to best address their needs. Who indeed. Read more on House Votes For Sane Marijuana Thing, And We’re Still Mad Anyway…