December 11, 2013
Oh dear, this poor POLITICO reporter was just trying to bring home the Hot Afternoon Scooplet to please her psychotic editors yesterday and — oops! — ended up making the funniest POLITICO error since that time they impregnated a Jonas brother over WHCD weekend. Everyone’s making fun of you right now, reporter Donovan Slack, and [...]
Now that we’re done talking about the sacred baby-making bodies of women and how wrong it is to want to help teenagers not ruin their lives and go on MTV to share the ruination with millions, Thinking America has moved on to the military, with the help of useless lump of matter Rick Santorum, to [...]
Does anyone seem to understand the fact that there are some very poor rich people out there who are not even wealthy enough to be able to afford a corporate jet? DOES ANYONE? Conservative tabloid The Wall Street Journal is not convinced that even the President of the United States knows this, so they typed [...]
Professional whiner nutcase Glenn Beck announced that he will charge a monthly five-dollar subscription fee for viewers to log in to his latest online vanity project, GBTV.com. Does anyone even have five dollars anymore? Maybe some quarters in the couch cushions. What will a Glenn Beck fan get in exchange for putting off the trip [...]
Remember when NPR reported that Gabrielle Giffords died, and every person on teevee assumed his or her saddest voice and said, “We can now confirm that Congressman Gabrielle Giffords has died”? Yeah, her husband saw that too. And his children. Whoops.
Hillary Clinton was in Bahrain today, and because we live in a period of history after her husband’s presidency and before her death (from that most feminist of diseases, breast cancer, we presume), somebody asked her if she was interested in running for president. And because Hillary Clinton has yet to become mentally ill from [...]
Keith Olbermann is just the sort of guy who would break a network rule against making campaign contributions, and he’s also the sort of guy who would refuse to go on air to apologize to his viewers for such a thing, and apparently this is why his primetime MSNBC show is now an hour-long presentation [...]
“Yo, fuck the media,” Sarah Palin says every morning, before going to work as a paid teevee media personality/shooting another episode of her reality teevee show, “Palin vs. Wild.” Do you see what’s happening here? The Media created Sarah Palin, and now this Alaskan Frankenstein creature has turned on them and will surely eat all [...]
Important news! According to Politico, Obama has a relative named “Bo Obama” who — no, wait, they’re talking about that fucking dog. Never mind. This publication put two whole reporters to work tracking down that dog’s trainer, because they are a newspaper that concerns itself with governmental affairs. And they called this article “THE REAL [...]
Internal e-mails concerning the firing of Shirley Sherrod have been released to media organizations that requested them, and it turns out the USDA and White House acted pretty much like everyone thought they had! “Just wanted you to know that this dismissal came up at our morning senior staff meeting today,” said the White House’s [...]
Todd and Sarah Palin have responded to the leak of Todd’s e-mail to Joe Miller yesterday, and it’s basically, “What? That wasn’t controversial. Lamestream media!” Earlier this afternoon, Todd sent a message to The Weekly Standard, saying his “wires got crossed” with Joe Miller (is that a sex thing?) and that “Joe hadn’t said anything [...]
Anderson Cooper is keeping his job at CNN, at least until Larry King shows up at his studios with a gun and Cooper decides it’s no longer worth it to interview terror-baby activists and hilarious homophobe assistant attorneys general. But he is also getting a daytime talk show, because why not? You know how Anderson [...]
Sure, that Vanity Fair piece out today was sort of poorly sourced (although still fun!), but isn’t that allegation that Sarah Palin maybe doesn’t do her own tweets kinda damning? So how does “Sarah” address this? “Media goofballs.” “Cake ink.” The end.