Tag Archives: media

  Who's the real rapist here?

Bill Cosby: Stop Smearing Me By Quoting All My Rape Words In The Newspaper!

With the jello and the pudding and the Quaaludes mashed up in the jello and the pudding.
Ever since news broke early this month that Bill Cosby may have did drug women for the purposes of having sex with them, according to his own testimony, America has been reeling from shock over the idea that when a few dozen women accuse somebody of rape, that somebody is probably a rapist. Shocking, we know. Last week, the full deposition was released, which revealed a man who admitted to using rape drugs, his fame and money, and also some more rape drugs, for the purposes of “seducing” women who were rape-drugged at the time and, according to Cosby, might not have been in a position to give consent, which is rape. Read more on Bill Cosby: Stop Smearing Me By Quoting All My Rape Words In The Newspaper!…
  Please Don't Throw Us In The Media Patch!

Megyn Kelly Asks Duggar Girls: Show Us On The Doll Where The Liberal Media Touched You

These people ARE Television
OK, we think we’ve got it figured out, now: Megyn Kelly’s Fox News interview with Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar Wednesday was like the end of the “19 Kids and Counting” franchise, and her follow-up interview with sisters Jill and Jessa Duggar Friday night paved the way for the rumored spinoff series focusing on Duggars: The Next Generation, which is set in the same fantasy universe as the original series but has better special effects. The Daily Banter’s Bob Cesca accurately predicted the overall shape of the interview with this tweet, 20 minutes into the interview: Read more on Megyn Kelly Asks Duggar Girls: Show Us On The Doll Where The Liberal Media Touched You…
  Pour One Out For 'Dr. Chaps'

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt
In yet another example of the persecution of Bible-believing Christians in America, wingnut Internet preacher and actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives Gordon Klingenschmitt has been stripped of his membership on a House committee because even his fellow Republicans are finally fed up and disgusted by him. Read more on CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk…
  Signs And Blunders

Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole

You might remember the horrific story about Michelle Wilkins, the pregnant woman in Longmont, Colorado, who was attacked by a deranged woman with a knife, who stabbed her, removed her 7-month-old fetus in an amateur C-section, and then was arrested when she brought the dead fetus to a hospital, claiming she’d miscarried. It was a horrible crime, but to Colorado wingnut preacher, actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives, and alleged human being Gordon Klingenschmitt, it was a pretty obvious sign that God has cursed America for allowing abortion to be legal. Read more on Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole…
  The Wonkette Media Empire

Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette

Here at yr Wonkette, we’re always brainstorming new ways to amuse and confound you. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this thing! It is called The Weekend Stock Photo Report With Weekend S. Photo! It is kind of a video slide show of funny pictures that we are definitely allowed to use, and a voice-over that says funny things about the politics, and boy aren’t you a lucky duckie, huh? Read more on Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette…
  Oopsie Scalise-y

Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke

Kooky Klown Klan Klaven
So you remember how it was reported that Steve Scalise (R-Jindaltopia) spoke at a meeting of infamous white supremacist David Duke’s white supremacy group in 2002? And remember how Scalise apologized for speaking at said white supremacist meeting, saying that he did not know that the white supremacist meeting was in fact a white supremacist meeting, and had he known it was a white supremacist group’s meeting, he never would have spoken at their white supremacist group’s meeting? Read more on Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke…
  clip bait

Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart did that thing he does where he makes us all feel a little bit better about an awful, terrible, no good, very bad week after “the Democrats got taken out back and Old Yeller-ed by the American electorate.” And he did that other thing he does where he makes us laugh at the pitiful and trite news coverage of this week’s election, with a classic Daily Show montage. Read more on Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)…
  media circus

Neil DeGrasse Tyson And Miles O’Brien Ponder Mystery Of Universe: CNN’s Ineffable, Incalculable Suck

Neil deGrasse Tyson and former CNN science correspondent Miles O’Brien had a nice chat about how cable news — especially CNN — doesn’t do so well with this “reporting” stuff. On Tyson’s “StarTalk” podcast, O’Brien said that CNN didn’t care so much for science reporters: “After all, what do we know about the Kardashians?” RawStory insists that this was a “joke,” but this is CNN, after all. Tyson & O’Brien discussed a number of journalistic sins at the cable network, notably the tendency to present “two sides” of every story, as if all perspectives, however badly informed, were equal: “Is it fair in a story about climate change,” O’Brien said, “which is clearly what I’m talking about, to do this journalistic convention of equal time for both sides. This is a huge mistake for journalism.” Unfortunately, it appears that neither O’Brian nor Tyson were aware that John Oliver solved that problem a week ago: just have 3 spokespeople for the climate deniers, and 97 scientists onstage for the consensus view (just make sure that one is Bill Nye). Read more on Neil DeGrasse Tyson And Miles O’Brien Ponder Mystery Of Universe: CNN’s Ineffable, Incalculable Suck…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All

Since the suspiciously ungracious and despicably cruel firing of Jill Abramson, the first female executive editor of the New York Times — apparently for no reason other than because she was a “pushy” “mercurial” “polarizing” “brusque” beeeyotch who twice hurt an otherwise super chill dude’s feelings so bad he had to punch a wall, but it’s okay now because the Times ding-donged that witch and gave her job to Mr. Chill Dude — there have been many excellent analyses of what happened at the Times. Like what an inspiration she was to the other women who worked at the Times. And how shocking and discouraging it is that she was fired in the way that she was, unlike, say, former editor Howell Raines, who was given a pretty darned nice send off when he was fired. Or how we will never really know whether and how much sexism played a role in how she was treated, perceived, and ultimately fired. There are many excellent points out there, made by excellent people who are very smart and wise. And then there is Tucker Carlson, who is “enjoying the heck out of this story.” Because he is a dick. Read more on Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All…
  If it's Sunday it's gee what else is on TV?

NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard

If you are a Reglar ‘Merican person who has occasionally flipped to NBC’s Meet the Press on a hungover Sunday morning, thinking the vapid tones of whatever panel of white men plus John McCain is appearing that day might somehow relieve your headache and nausea, only to find it worsened when you were compelled to throw things at your television and scream “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!” then you already know exactly what is wrong with NBC’s has-been Sunday talk show. Like every other Sunday morning talk show, it is, at best, the same rotating cast of a dozen or so professional beltway pontificators explaining how Democrats are like THIS, but Republicans are like THAT, with the occasional “some say” or “both sides do it” interruption from the milquetoast moderator — in this case, David Gregory, who plays a Very Serious Journalist on the tee vee, even though he’s really always wanted to be a dancer. Sometimes, he awakens from his half-coma enough to journosplain who is and isn’t a JournalistTM, as defined by David Gregory. (It feels a tad superfluous, even malicious, to remind you once more than David Gregory was a back-up dancer to Karl Rove at the annual gathering of Very Serious Journalists Stroking Themselves Approvingly in Tuxedos, also known as the White House Correspondents Dinner. It is superfluous and malicious, but we just did it anyway because Jesus H. Christ, if you are a back-up dancer to “MC Rove,” you do not ever EVER NEVER NOT EVER get to define who is and is not a journalist.) If, however, you are NBC, you are apparently shocked and amazed that Gregory’s show is getting its ass ratings-kicked by, among others, Pretend to Face the Nation, hosted by practically dead Bob Schieffer. How could this once great show — and by once great, of course, we merely mean that it used to be the top rated show on Sunday when it was hosted by Tim Russert, who at least had a personality, plus a chalkboard — no longer be revered or, like, watched? Time to call in A Expert: Last year, the network undertook an unusual assessment of the 43-year-old journalist, commissioning a psychological consultant to interview his friends and even his wife. The idea, according to a network spokeswoman, Meghan Pianta, was “to get perspective and insight from people who know him best.”* We’re going to take a quick commercial break so we can all die of laughter. When we return, for those who managed to survive, we’ll try to imagine exactly how this “consultation” works. Then we will die of laughter some more. Read more on NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard…
  think they're all bozos on that bus

Snowgrifter Update: Sarah Palin Selling Bus, Starting Teevee Channel, Learning Guitar

We have News of the Grifter for your weekend contemplation: Sarah Palin is going to start an all-new digital teevee channel with the working name “Rogue TV,” according to an anonymous source who is familiar with the project. Also, if you want to buy her old not-a-campaign bus from the “One Nation” tour that she abandoned partway through the 2012 campaign season, that’s for sale, too. We completely believe she’s selling the bus. Read more on Snowgrifter Update: Sarah Palin Selling Bus, Starting Teevee Channel, Learning Guitar…
  why so unserious?

Bill O’Reilly Pretty Sure Lincoln Would Not Have Japed And Jested With Zach Galifianakis

It looks like the consensus is in: Barack Obama must resign or be impeached because he was in a six minute comedy video. The presidency is obviously damaged beyond repair. And now we can add Lincoln Authority Bill O’Reilly to the list of astute scholars of What A President Mayst Do. On his Tuesday program, O’Reilly led with the scandalous scandal, explaining that based on his vast awareness of the 16th President, “All I can tell is you is Abe Lincoln would not have done it,” because as everyone knows, Lincoln never went on any social media at all. Billo also suggested that the video was a sign that Obamacare must be a complete failure, asking whether “Using a comedic web site to enroll people is a little bit desperate, don’t you think?” Maybe it is! Though maybe it’s not quite as desperate as having a snit fit just because somebody else had a far better interview with the president than O’Reilly did. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Pretty Sure Lincoln Would Not Have Japed And Jested With Zach Galifianakis…
  extra extra

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A ‘News-Paper’

Well, THAT kind of came out of nowhere; there was some stuff on Twitter about all WaPo staff being summoned to the auditorium, and then suddenly we get the announcement that Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos went and bought the Washington Post newspaper for $250 million. Huh. The purchase does not involve Amazon; it is being financed entirely by Bezos himself. The sale did not include the broader Post Company, which owns Slate, Foreign Policy, and The Root. Please feel free to fill the comments with speculation about how the paper may be influenced by Bezos’s personal political views, which lean libertarian, at least according to Reason and to early Amazon investor Nick Hannauer, who is the sort of rich guy we’d rather see running a major paper, if such a thing even exists anymore. (Ha-ha! Your medium is dying!) Read more on Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A ‘News-Paper’…
  kochsuckers in the news

Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now

Hey, who’s tired of reading actual “information” in the handful of remaining legitimate news outlets quietly dying out in America? Persecuted swamp monsters Charles and David Koch are growing tired of watching their feudalist political philosophies maligned in the media, so they have looked around and said to themselves, “oh shit, let’s just buy the media.” Koch Industries is in talks to buy the Tribune Company’s eight newspapers. We, for one, are excited to see Chuck Norris’s work in the opinion pages of the Los Angeles Times. For information, however, we are pretty much going to rely on official press releases,  Reddit crowdsourcing, and blogs from here on out. USA! USA! USA! Read more on Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now…
  capitalism sheds a tear

America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs

Today is a sad day for Americans because we are losing a quintessentially American dessert, maybe forever. This is mostly the fault of commie liberal “labor” unions who have the NERVE to demand a living wage for their work, which makes the whole thing double plus sad. Of course, it isn’t actually the fault of labor unions but corporate spokespeople the media has SAID it’s the fault of labor unions so CASE CLOSED, no lessons to learn here other than labor unions mean no dessert, ever, for anyone, in Obama’s America. Read more on America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs…