Tag Archives: media

  Pour One Out For 'Dr. Chaps'

CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk

Gordon KlingenWingen Schmitzennutt
In yet another example of the persecution of Bible-believing Christians in America, wingnut Internet preacher and actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives Gordon Klingenschmitt has been stripped of his membership on a House committee because even his fellow Republicans are finally fed up and disgusted by him. Read more on CO Rep. Klingenschmitt Booted By Fellow Republicans For Being A Jerk…
  Signs And Blunders

Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole

You might remember the horrific story about Michelle Wilkins, the pregnant woman in Longmont, Colorado, who was attacked by a deranged woman with a knife, who stabbed her, removed her 7-month-old fetus in an amateur C-section, and then was arrested when she brought the dead fetus to a hospital, claiming she’d miscarried. It was a horrible crime, but to Colorado wingnut preacher, actual member of the Colorado House of Representatives, and alleged human being Gordon Klingenschmitt, it was a pretty obvious sign that God has cursed America for allowing abortion to be legal. Read more on Pregnant Stabbing Victim Invites CO Rep. Klingenschmitt To Shove Donation Up His Jesus Hole…
  The Wonkette Media Empire

Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette

Here at yr Wonkette, we’re always brainstorming new ways to amuse and confound you. In that spirit, we are proud to offer this thing! It is called The Weekend Stock Photo Report With Weekend S. Photo! It is kind of a video slide show of funny pictures that we are definitely allowed to use, and a voice-over that says funny things about the politics, and boy aren’t you a lucky duckie, huh? Read more on Introducing The Weekend Stock Photo Report, A Video Thing From Yr Beloved Wonkette…
  Oopsie Scalise-y

Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke

Kooky Klown Klan Klaven
So you remember how it was reported that Steve Scalise (R-Jindaltopia) spoke at a meeting of infamous white supremacist David Duke’s white supremacy group in 2002? And remember how Scalise apologized for speaking at said white supremacist meeting, saying that he did not know that the white supremacist meeting was in fact a white supremacist meeting, and had he known it was a white supremacist group’s meeting, he never would have spoken at their white supremacist group’s meeting? Read more on Steve Scalise Totally Didn’t Speak At David Duke Event, Says Close Friend Of David Duke…
  clip bait

Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Jon Stewart did that thing he does where he makes us all feel a little bit better about an awful, terrible, no good, very bad week after “the Democrats got taken out back and Old Yeller-ed by the American electorate.” And he did that other thing he does where he makes us laugh at the pitiful and trite news coverage of this week’s election, with a classic Daily Show montage. Read more on Jon Stewart: ‘Mitch McConnell Is Literally, Biologically A Tortoise’ (Video)…
  media circus

Neil DeGrasse Tyson And Miles O’Brien Ponder Mystery Of Universe: CNN’s Ineffable, Incalculable Suck

Neil deGrasse Tyson and former CNN science correspondent Miles O’Brien had a nice chat about how cable news — especially CNN — doesn’t do so well with this “reporting” stuff. On Tyson’s “StarTalk” podcast, O’Brien said that CNN didn’t care so much for science reporters: “After all, what do we know about the Kardashians?” RawStory insists that this was a “joke,” but this is CNN, after all. Tyson & O’Brien discussed a number of journalistic sins at the cable network, notably the tendency to present “two sides” of every story, as if all perspectives, however badly informed, were equal: “Is it fair in a story about climate change,” O’Brien said, “which is clearly what I’m talking about, to do this journalistic convention of equal time for both sides. This is a huge mistake for journalism.” Unfortunately, it appears that neither O’Brian nor Tyson were aware that John Oliver solved that problem a week ago: just have 3 spokespeople for the climate deniers, and 97 scientists onstage for the consensus view (just make sure that one is Bill Nye). Read more on Neil DeGrasse Tyson And Miles O’Brien Ponder Mystery Of Universe: CNN’s Ineffable, Incalculable Suck…
  #RIPpatriarchy

Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All

Since the suspiciously ungracious and despicably cruel firing of Jill Abramson, the first female executive editor of the New York Times — apparently for no reason other than because she was a “pushy” “mercurial” “polarizing” “brusque” beeeyotch who twice hurt an otherwise super chill dude’s feelings so bad he had to punch a wall, but it’s okay now because the Times ding-donged that witch and gave her job to Mr. Chill Dude — there have been many excellent analyses of what happened at the Times. Like what an inspiration she was to the other women who worked at the Times. And how shocking and discouraging it is that she was fired in the way that she was, unlike, say, former editor Howell Raines, who was given a pretty darned nice send off when he was fired. Or how we will never really know whether and how much sexism played a role in how she was treated, perceived, and ultimately fired. There are many excellent points out there, made by excellent people who are very smart and wise. And then there is Tucker Carlson, who is “enjoying the heck out of this story.” Because he is a dick. Read more on Male ‘Journalist’ Tucker Carlson Sad There Are No Male Journalists Because Jill Abramson Murdered Them All…
  If it's Sunday it's gee what else is on TV?

NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard

If you are a Reglar ‘Merican person who has occasionally flipped to NBC’s Meet the Press on a hungover Sunday morning, thinking the vapid tones of whatever panel of white men plus John McCain is appearing that day might somehow relieve your headache and nausea, only to find it worsened when you were compelled to throw things at your television and scream “THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS!!!!” then you already know exactly what is wrong with NBC’s has-been Sunday talk show. Like every other Sunday morning talk show, it is, at best, the same rotating cast of a dozen or so professional beltway pontificators explaining how Democrats are like THIS, but Republicans are like THAT, with the occasional “some say” or “both sides do it” interruption from the milquetoast moderator — in this case, David Gregory, who plays a Very Serious Journalist on the tee vee, even though he’s really always wanted to be a dancer. Sometimes, he awakens from his half-coma enough to journosplain who is and isn’t a JournalistTM, as defined by David Gregory. (It feels a tad superfluous, even malicious, to remind you once more than David Gregory was a back-up dancer to Karl Rove at the annual gathering of Very Serious Journalists Stroking Themselves Approvingly in Tuxedos, also known as the White House Correspondents Dinner. It is superfluous and malicious, but we just did it anyway because Jesus H. Christ, if you are a back-up dancer to “MC Rove,” you do not ever EVER NEVER NOT EVER get to define who is and is not a journalist.) If, however, you are NBC, you are apparently shocked and amazed that Gregory’s show is getting its ass ratings-kicked by, among others, Pretend to Face the Nation, hosted by practically dead Bob Schieffer. How could this once great show — and by once great, of course, we merely mean that it used to be the top rated show on Sunday when it was hosted by Tim Russert, who at least had a personality, plus a chalkboard — no longer be revered or, like, watched? Time to call in A Expert: Last year, the network undertook an unusual assessment of the 43-year-old journalist, commissioning a psychological consultant to interview his friends and even his wife. The idea, according to a network spokeswoman, Meghan Pianta, was “to get perspective and insight from people who know him best.”* We’re going to take a quick commercial break so we can all die of laughter. When we return, for those who managed to survive, we’ll try to imagine exactly how this “consultation” works. Then we will die of laughter some more. Read more on NBC Hires Expert To Figure Out Mystery of Why David Gregory’s Show Sucks So Hard…
  think they're all bozos on that bus

Snowgrifter Update: Sarah Palin Selling Bus, Starting Teevee Channel, Learning Guitar

We have News of the Grifter for your weekend contemplation: Sarah Palin is going to start an all-new digital teevee channel with the working name “Rogue TV,” according to an anonymous source who is familiar with the project. Also, if you want to buy her old not-a-campaign bus from the “One Nation” tour that she abandoned partway through the 2012 campaign season, that’s for sale, too. We completely believe she’s selling the bus. Read more on Snowgrifter Update: Sarah Palin Selling Bus, Starting Teevee Channel, Learning Guitar…
  why so unserious?

Bill O’Reilly Pretty Sure Lincoln Would Not Have Japed And Jested With Zach Galifianakis

It looks like the consensus is in: Barack Obama must resign or be impeached because he was in a six minute comedy video. The presidency is obviously damaged beyond repair. And now we can add Lincoln Authority Bill O’Reilly to the list of astute scholars of What A President Mayst Do. On his Tuesday program, O’Reilly led with the scandalous scandal, explaining that based on his vast awareness of the 16th President, “All I can tell is you is Abe Lincoln would not have done it,” because as everyone knows, Lincoln never went on any social media at all. Billo also suggested that the video was a sign that Obamacare must be a complete failure, asking whether “Using a comedic web site to enroll people is a little bit desperate, don’t you think?” Maybe it is! Though maybe it’s not quite as desperate as having a snit fit just because somebody else had a far better interview with the president than O’Reilly did. Read more on Bill O’Reilly Pretty Sure Lincoln Would Not Have Japed And Jested With Zach Galifianakis…
  extra extra

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A ‘News-Paper’

Well, THAT kind of came out of nowhere; there was some stuff on Twitter about all WaPo staff being summoned to the auditorium, and then suddenly we get the announcement that Amazon.com founder Jeff Bezos went and bought the Washington Post newspaper for $250 million. Huh. The purchase does not involve Amazon; it is being financed entirely by Bezos himself. The sale did not include the broader Post Company, which owns Slate, Foreign Policy, and The Root. Please feel free to fill the comments with speculation about how the paper may be influenced by Bezos’s personal political views, which lean libertarian, at least according to Reason and to early Amazon investor Nick Hannauer, who is the sort of rich guy we’d rather see running a major paper, if such a thing even exists anymore. (Ha-ha! Your medium is dying!) Read more on Amazon’s Jeff Bezos Thinks It Would Be Fun To Run A ‘News-Paper’…
  kochsuckers in the news

Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now

Hey, who’s tired of reading actual “information” in the handful of remaining legitimate news outlets quietly dying out in America? Persecuted swamp monsters Charles and David Koch are growing tired of watching their feudalist political philosophies maligned in the media, so they have looked around and said to themselves, “oh shit, let’s just buy the media.” Koch Industries is in talks to buy the Tribune Company’s eight newspapers. We, for one, are excited to see Chuck Norris’s work in the opinion pages of the Los Angeles Times. For information, however, we are pretty much going to rely on official press releases,  Reddit crowdsourcing, and blogs from here on out. USA! USA! USA! Read more on Koch Brothers Buying the Liberal Media Now…
  capitalism sheds a tear

America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs

Today is a sad day for Americans because we are losing a quintessentially American dessert, maybe forever. This is mostly the fault of commie liberal “labor” unions who have the NERVE to demand a living wage for their work, which makes the whole thing double plus sad. Of course, it isn’t actually the fault of labor unions but corporate spokespeople the media has SAID it’s the fault of labor unions so CASE CLOSED, no lessons to learn here other than labor unions mean no dessert, ever, for anyone, in Obama’s America. Read more on America Mourns Death Of Snack Food Murdered By Union Thugs…
  censorship

Mom-Hating Major Networks To Show Repeats of Dumb Shows Rather Than Ann Romney’s Speech

The Mitt Romney for President 2012 campaign had a smashing idea for night one of next week’s convention: Get Ann Romney to speak! She’s a nice gal who “humanizes Mitt Romney,” don’t you know. Have you heard? Once the world meets Ann Romney, nothing but Endless Victory will follow. And yet problems have arisen: (1) Ann Romney’s opening act will be a hurricane that levels the city of Tampa and (2) CBS, ABC and NBC won’t even be showing the speech. Instead they’re airing repeats of what, one thing about a detective, another one about fairy tales. A Hawaii thing. (They are all about detectives.) Read more on Mom-Hating Major Networks To Show Repeats of Dumb Shows Rather Than Ann Romney’s Speech…
  hehgnn

John McCain Is So Over His Defeat That He Still Won’t Talk to the New York Times

The New York Times has the latest iteration of the beloved media story “What John McCain Is Like Now,” and here’s where it situates the old coot who pretends to be from Arizona along the spectrum: Definitely not the “far-right” monster who ran for Senate reelection in 2010, but also not the liberal fluffer who regularly dined with Maureen Dowd and Arianna Huffington at Hollywood Hills dinner parties back in the day. He does whatever Mitch McConnell wants him to do now and is happy. “It took me three years of feeling sorry for myself,” he says, to a crowd of assembled reporters, because he still won’t talk to the New York Times directly after three years. Read more on John McCain Is So Over His Defeat That He Still Won’t Talk to the New York Times…
  you're kidding us

ABC News Should Fire Brian Ross, And Other Notes On Being Terrible

There are 12 people dead and 50 injured at a movie theater in Colorado, including a baby. It’s not as though you can’t look into a suspect’s history after a massacre and report things as they’re confirmed. That’s what the media should do! What the media, and every idiot on the Twitter, should not do, is first seek out a narrow angle that probably has nothing to do with crazy people going crazy — say, “what political party is this insane person in?” — and then get it wrong out of pure laziness. This matters. Let’s shame some people. First up: ABC News should fire Brian Ross. Read more on ABC News Should Fire Brian Ross, And Other Notes On Being Terrible…
  lamestream media

Let Us Pause to Honor the 47th Most Courageous Press Corps in the World

How is the 47th Freest press in the world doing these days? Fair-to-middling, as usual! This is the state of affairs according to the New York Times anyway, which has kindly informed its readers that they basically can’t trust any of the quotes contained within its pages, especially if these quotes come from persons associated with either the Obama Administration or the Romney campaign.  See, allowing officials, aides, surrogates, and strategists to review and redact their quotes as a precondition of an interview has become the “default position.” Everyone is doing it, so the courageous journalists of the New York Times have to, or it won’t get interviews! And if they don’t get interviews, then they won’t get meaningless and sanitized quotes, see? USA! USA! USA! Read more on Let Us Pause to Honor the 47th Most Courageous Press Corps in the World…
  it's always wolf blitzer's fault

Stuff People Don’t Know About ObamaCare, Harumph!

Your Wonkette took this Kaiser Family Foundation online quiz about the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. AbortionCare, and hot dog, we scored a 10 out of 10. The money’s sure to trickle in now. And yet the overall results seem to show — get this — that there’s some confusion out there about what the law actually does. This is probably because more than two years after the law passed, and three years after versions of it were coming out of committee, most mainstream media outlets have never bothered to explain the law at all. Usually the routine goes like, say, “Welcome to CNN, I am your host, the Wolf. Today we’re going to talk about health care reform. Which political party wins? We will have a Republican political consultant and a Democratic political consultant talk past each other at the top of the hour.” At the top of the hour, no actual information is passed on to the viewer. Let’s look at an example of what people don’t know about the law, and then perhaps the teevee can pass these bits of information to the American public. Ha ha. Still. Read more on Stuff People Don’t Know About ObamaCare, Harumph!…
  on steno pool duty

Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down

Can you type? Or if you can’t type, can you tell like an intern or somebody that you need something typed? Because if you do, you might have a shot at becoming a political producer for CNN, given that these skills are a prerequisite for the job, which seems mainly to consist of typing things that other people said, and then connecting them until they look kind of like an article. Read more on Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down…
  we would not have been who we were

Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked

We don’t know what his exact words were, but according to this write-up of a recent media panel in Boston, Chris Matthews was cryogenically frozen during the years 2002 and 2003: “Hardball host Chris Matthews argued that because of the rise of opinion-based news networks, the non-critical aspect of the media is gone, going as far to say that the reporting that verified the U.S. administration’s claims about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in 2002 would not happen today because of cable news.” Yep, back in 2002 alright we didn’t have any of these serious cable news channels to provide accountability. There was one channel on the television box and one broadsheet newspaper in the entire country, The New Amsterdam Revue-McDiggity. Beyond that, astrology was your best means of arriving at the truth. Read more on Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked…
  game chang....zzzzzz

Campaign Reporters Officially Out Of Questions, Time For Everyone To Come Home

NEW: Romney just said that Augusta National should admit women as members, our @peterhambycnn reports. #GenderWars #tcot #tlot — Lisa Desjardins (@LisaDCNN) April 5, 2012 Romney says “of course” women should be admitted to Augusta National, per @GarrettNBCNews. — Mike O’Brien (@mpoindc) April 5, 2012 Romney just told reporters on the ropeline that women should be admitted to Augusta National — Peter Hamby (@PeterHambyCNN) April 5, 2012 Women at Augusta? Romney says “yes” – full report here:abcn.ws/HjiLGp — Emily Friedman (@EmilyABC) April 5, 2012 Well, here’s the big breaking news today: Mitt Romney answered the easiest question in history about the dumb issue of whether plutocratic female CEOs should be allowed to apply for membership at a golf course in Georgia. Read more on Campaign Reporters Officially Out Of Questions, Time For Everyone To Come Home…