• Zagat restaurant guide gets punk’d as giggle inducing puns evade detection. [Brunch Bird]

• Fistful of change goes missing, clues point to DC-DMV employees know as “Half Street Mafia.” [Countersignature]
• Hundreds of punk rock fans forced to call mom for an early pick-up last night after 9:30 club sorta caught fire. [DCeiver]
• WaPo’s “best bets” rankings not as useful as a list of the worst bars in DC, compiled by ” drunkards and vagrants.” [Cafe 227]

* As your attorney, Ben Bernanke commends your thrifty ways, and wants to know where you put the goddamn mescaline. [Love and Haterade] MORE »

* Lloyd Bentsen hasn’t even been dead long enough to turn over in his grave, and already he has a rap obituary. [Dealing in Subterfuges] MORE »

* DC owns the half-smoke! Extra chili and double extra liquid cheese, please. [NPR via Unrequited Narcissism] MORE »

* This is going to make staring into that bowl of ramen tonight much more fun. [Failed Southern Lady] MORE »

Some other possible outcomes of the new ban on lobbyist-bought meals: MORE »