So you know how President Obama called for a minimum wage of $10.10 in the State of the Union? Well, that is a great plan if you HATE THE POORS. But if you love the poor, if you have compassion in your heart and a soul full of goodness, then you know that best way […]

Welcome to another Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we scrape our browser tabs for the stories that are too stoopid to ignore altogether but not quite worth a full post, stir in some weapons-grade snark, and serve it up to you. We recommend you add your own mental lubricant, but not right before you […]

McDonald’s employee website has obviously been sabotaged by union thug moles (again) (AGAIN again!), who are trying to make them look bad. Obviously no person without a nefarious agenda would put up an employee website with an etiquette section on how much to tip the help for the holiday.

Over at Michelle Malkin’s Twitter Dump for Adderall Deficient Jackanapes, the wingnuts are having a giant happy because fast food workers across the nation are striking for a living wage, which gives the knuckle-dragging cholesterol bombs of the right an excuse (as if they needed one) to patronize every McDonalds and Hardees from sea to […]

America’s purveyors of Anus Burgers aren’t really all that big on the idea of paying a fair wage to their employees, but it’s nice to know that they’re at least willing to help them eat their bootstraps and mooch off the gummint. In yet another inspirational example of a fast food giant “helping” its employees, […]

Meet Nancy. Nancy has worked at McDonald’s for 10 years, but she cannot feed her children, because “$8.25 an hour,” and also probably just a terrible person we are guessing. It is even possible, though she doesn’t say so, that she is such a bad mother she would sign her kids up for a free […]

OK, so here’s a video that you really DO want to see — and we PROMISE there’s no Glenn Beck or Rush Limbaugh or even My Little Ponies hidden in there — just a short clip from a TED talk by researcher Frans de Waal. And it’s not even one of those awful earnest social-media-will-save-the […]

Remember our friend Tyree Johnson, the McDonald’s employee who is still earning minimum wage after 20 years of service? Well damn if the corporate overlords haven’t found another way to screw him and his. We thought they might be out of ideas for the year, but no, they are not, because they are going to try […]

Yesterday we brought you the depressing story of a man who had worked for McDonald’s for twenty years and was still getting paid minimum wage. Now, of course, there is an argument to be made that it was kind of his fault that he was still getting paid minimum wage after all those years. Instead of […]

Time is money, you guys, and money is time (as well as speech) which is why this nice McDonald’s worker would have to work for ONE MILLION HOURS to make as much as the McDonald’s CEO did in 2011 alone. The CEO’s time is just that much more valuable, so the Market has put a […]

As a sign of his willingness to help out political bloggers and cartoonists everywhere, Mitt Romney yesterday generously told another dumb story about his family’s near-magical life of privilege and ease: “I found a little paper card, a little pink card, and it said, ‘This entitles George W. Romney to a lifetime of a hamburger, […]

Happy Friday, everyone! Isn’t it great when we as Americans are friends with gay people and immigrants and Saudi Arabia? We should throw a party and all hang out together! But shhh don’t invite Mitt. He’s too busy giving speeches in Michigan. Also, he’s lame. Obama’s big announcements about gay marriage and immigration continually make […]

A special ceremony is planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first. Good he got that in now. […]

The $60 billion that the Republicans wanted to cut from spending (simple cuts, not “reductions in rates”) was to the Federal Budget what 1/2 of a French Fry would be to a Big Mac Value Meal (medium size). That’s right, 1/2 of a fry. So why did the Dems manage to get the Republicans to […]

Good news, hamburglars! Industrial cow-parts processor “McDonaldland Corporation” will hire 50,000 of the nation’s 24,300,000 million officially unemployed, “involuntary part-time” and “discouraged” workers. Just show up at your local McDonald’s (or the other one, at the next offramp) on April 19 and you may be one of the lucky .002% of unwanted American laborers to […]