mcdonald’s
A special ceremony is planned Tuesday afternoon at McDonald’s in Fond du Lac for Don Gorske. That’s because, since 1972, Gorske has eaten at least two Big Macs a day, which means the 57-year-old will be eating his 25,000th Big Mac on the 39th anniversary of eating his first. Good he got that in now. [...]
The $60 billion that the Republicans wanted to cut from spending (simple cuts, not “reductions in rates”) was to the Federal Budget what 1/2 of a French Fry would be to a Big Mac Value Meal (medium size). That’s right, 1/2 of a fry. So why did the Dems manage to get the Republicans to [...]
Good news, hamburglars! Industrial cow-parts processor “McDonaldland Corporation” will hire 50,000 of the nation’s 24,300,000 million officially unemployed, “involuntary part-time” and “discouraged” workers. Just show up at your local McDonald’s (or the other one, at the next offramp) on April 19 and you may be one of the lucky .002% of unwanted American laborers to [...]
Michael Steele informed the Republican National Committee last night that he would seek a second term as RNC chair, causing committee members to choke on their mint juleps and then beat their Rentboys with riding crops as they whispered to themselves “that Negro!,” over and over and over again. Moments later, Steele appeared on Greta [...]
America’s hipsters will soon have a new ironic, chemically aged piss-beer to drink, but only if the bravest beer baron in America successfully sues the federal government for his first amendment right to plaster the American flag all over his fermented garbage. [NewsOK] Uh oh, some Jihadists issued a fatwa against McDonald’s. Where will K-Lo [...]
There’s no better salve for the empty feeling you get after casting your ballot than the gooey greasy salt-fat blob of a delicious anus burger sliding down your throat to rest in your gut alongside the “beef tallow” sodium stick fries and 72 ounces of corn syrup you just consumed as an appetizer. You might [...]
This time it’s a BRAZILIAN activist judge legislating from the bench: A Brazilian court ruled this week that McDonald’s must pay a former franchise manager $17,500 because he gained 65 pounds while working there for a dozen years. The 32-year-old man said he felt forced to sample the food each day to ensure quality standards [...]
That whole Teabagger baby-stealing episode is finally over, and the child has been given to its parents, even though those parents still do not have custody of two previous children, who are now in foster care because a judge ruled the father had abused one of them. This is confusing all the Teabaggers who were [...]
McDonald’s was SECRETLY Halal for a day or two, which infuriated the Teabaggers because they paid for PIG-anus, goddamnit, not some disgusting Sharia meat. [Creeping Sharia] Science proves that Moses used miracle wind-power, just like Captain Planet, to part the Red Sea. [InstituteForCreationResearch] Monopolies are actually GOOD for competitive enterprise, because it makes the competition [...]
How are things in McDonaldland, USA? Pretty bad, we bet! Here’s the “State of the Union,” as video-recorded by a robot camera over the McDonald’s drive-thru somewhere. (Oh and your Wonkette has an “arrangement” with this news-video company, so whatever commercial you suffer through is actually sending a little money to your Wonkette writers who [...]
Wonkette operative “Lily E.” was just driving around the outskirts of Madison, Virginia, this weekend when she was compelled to snap this picture of America 2010. It’s all there, everything. Everything.
Any questions? [New York Times]
