Any questions?
[New York Times]

• Matthew Yglesias writes in earnest about McDonald’s policy. [Matt Yglesias]
• The Obama Administration loves to have sex with minors. RedState knows this is true, because Whoopee Goldberg said something on teevee and also isn’t it obvious? Q.E.D., Amen. [RedState]
• Delicious Mustache Ride John Bolton admits that some people are normal and straight like him, and other people are weird and kinda gay, and if they don’t feel bad about not being normal and straight, that’s okay, he guesses. [Think Progress]
• Andrew Sullivan will protect your children from the Obama Administration. Bless him. [The Daily Dish]
• Barack Obama guest stars in a new (?) comic book, with a big-boobed anime jet rocket robot stripper lady villain. [Weekly Standard]

Oh well this is nice, HMM? Young Florida person Julio got the opportunity to ask Barack Obama a question at the Fort Myers town hall today and he was very excited about this. He explained that he’s a college student working at McDonald’s — he hates working there! — and wanted Barry to tell him what to do. Barry responded, “Uhh well once you get your college degree, then you can stop working at McDonald’s, dude,” but more politely than that. Hooray! Good luck with jobs and life, Julio.

Regular readers may remember a golden period of mockery over the summer regarding the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” initiative, in which a bunch of fat slobs ceased taking their 12 kids to McDonald’s 78 times a week because some vice president gave money to some San Francisco gay cause once. There were funny comments and we laughed, because who were these fucking people just cold validatin’ every stereotype about Bitters? And yet, McDonald’s has now caved in to their demands to remain “neutral” in the “culture wars,” which these fundie idiots think is an actual hot war between Orcs and Dwarves. MORE »

Man, the Fundies sure have shown those queers at McDonald’s what happens when they start pushing the Gay Agenda: “CHICAGO–McDonald’s Corp said Friday that global sales at restaurants open at least 13 months rose 8 percent in July, as the key U.S. market posted its largest gain in five months.” A recession is not really a great time to affect change in the fast food industry with a boycott. Besides, we know all of these fat selfish mouth-breathers have been going to McDonald’s secretly, every day. [Reuters]

MAH JESUS BOOK DON’T NONE LIKE THIS: Oh heavens, first they came for our family, and then our hamburgers, and then our family again, and now our motorcars too: “Police in Manila are looking to convert their patrol cars to run on a mixture of diesel and used cooking oil from McDonald’s, officials and the company said Tuesday.” MCDONALD NOW YOU GITCHER HOMO OIL OUTTA MAH F-250 ELSE’N ISE FIXIN TA BOYCOTT MAH RIDE ‘N’ RUIN YER ECONOMETRICKS. [AFP/Breitbart]

So of course these mouth-breathers running the American Family Association’s “Boycott McDonald’s” program have a YouTube channel, how did it take us so long. Quick background for newcomers: a few Christian Fundamentalists are boycotting McDonald’s because this “restaurant” supports fags, the end. You can watch their funny one-minute trailer about Ronald McDonald molesting your children with his hamburgers, after the jump. MORE »

Last week we discovered the website “Boycott McDonald’s,” an American Family Association initiative that criticizes McDonald’s for one time giving some gay thing $20,000 to make an ad or whatever BACKING THE FULL GAY AGENDA. We showed a litany of samples from the site’s comment section, and it was very popular, so now we are going to post more funny comments from it. At least 8 of the top 10 funniest things on the Internet are comments from this website. MORE »

You’ve been waiting for it all day, and here it is: your “Tuesday Fun Link.” Today’s link directs you to “Boycott McDonald’s,” an effort from some terrible thing called the American Family Association. Naturally, these people are not boycotting McDonald’s because they are starting diets — on the contrary, we assume they are all fat fucks who continue to patronize the likes of Wendy’s, Burger King, and “Sonic” on a daily basis. They are boycotting McDonald’s because of this: “It is about McDonald’s, as a corporation, refusing to remain neutral in the culture wars. McDonald’s has chosen not to remain neutral but to give the full weight of their corporation to promoting the homosexual agenda, including homosexual marriage.” And GUESS WHAT? This website has a comments section!! MORE »

Oh look, it is NBC Anchorman Willard Scott, seen here during his “glory days” as TeeVee’s Ronald McDonald, horrifying the children of Washington and Annapolis. Later, he became famous in Stephen King’s It. [Via Metafilter]

Here at Wonkette we devote about 10 percent of our working day to work and 90 percent to following the exploits of ballroom dancing failure and MSNBC hosting failure Tucker Carlson. Given his long and faithfully chronicled love affair with McDonald’s, we can only imagine Tucker’s distress upon hearing the news this week that the inventor of the Egg McMuffin died. Herb Peterson passed away peacefully at home at the age of 89, surrounded by family, friends, and a mountain of perfectly circular fried eggs. [MSNBC]