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Tag: mayors

Godly, Jesusy Ohio Ex-Mayor Was Pretty Sure The 4-Year-Old He Was Raping Was Into It

He described her as a "willing participant."

Farewell Janice Daniels, Celebrated Homophobe Mayor and Facebook Poet

As we continue to mourn our Fallen Heroes, let us not forget Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan! This beloved character danced onto the pages of our Wonkette storybook earlier this year, when she put on her Snuggie, logged...

Cory Booker Will Bring You Some Blankets in His Sexxy New Tumblr

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, "Cory Booker Hey Girl" (much more...

Comical California Mayor Gives This Chinese Autograph Seeker a Piece of His Mind

Santee, California Mayor Randy Voepel, according to the local Patch, recently received an email from a Chinese fellow who collects autographs asking for a contribution from Voepel. The email sort of resemnbles "spam email," but we're only saying that...

East Haven Mayor’s Idea of Latino Outreach Is ‘Eating Some Tacos’

Four East Haven, Connecticut police officers were recently arrested by the FBI for unlawful abuse and search of some of the city's Latino residents, but Mayor Joe Maturo's immediate response to the arrests was so heinous as to suggest...

Philadelphia Mayor Tells Citizens to Stop Being ‘Idiots and A**holes’

Mayor Michael Nutter, Democrat of Philadelphia, likes to swear, but he only really swears about people who deserve it, nor does he ever apologize for his remarks, and he is therefore kind of great and should run for president....

Mayor Daley To Jam Rifle Up Reporter’s Butt, For Laffs

Omnipotent Chicago mob boss and mayor-for-life Richard Daley held a press conference with local reporters yesterday to discuss the city's handgun ban that will probably be overturned by the Supreme Court, which loves giving citizens of violent death-towns as...

Everyone In New Jersey Arrested — Capitalism Now Illegal??

Were you in northern New Jersey this morning? Ha ha, now you are in jail, maybe! Seems the FBI arbitrarily decided that today would be a good day to just arrest every powerful person for their obvious, constant corruption...

Someone Please Decipher What This Small Town Mayor *Means*

Your Wonkette loves its small-town Republican mayors who overshare their dumb little Obama jokes, so here's some guy named Boyd Austin. A Wonkette Facebook troll operative claims that Austin is the mayor of something called "Dallas, Georgia." And in...

See, This Is Why Mayors Can’t Have Nice Things

We were going to give our recap of Barack Obama's sexy party for mayors today based on this Jake Tapper article, but how lame would that be brosef? "Articles" are for your GRANDFATHER, right, so we're checking Jake Tapper's...

Kwame Kilpatrick Released From Jail, Makes Bee-Line To Benz Chili Bowl

Sometimes comical ex-Detroit mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was released from Detroit prison after 99 days of memorable anal sex (and a possible conversion to Muslin!) He was picked up by a private driver (remember to pay taxes on that!) and...

Kwame Kilpatrick Vetoes His Own Removal

Things haven't gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama's black vice presidency. You may recall that his "woes" include bangin' his chief of...