mayors

As we continue to mourn our Fallen Heroes, let us not forget Mayor Janice Daniels of Troy, Michigan! This beloved character danced onto the pages of our Wonkette storybook earlier this year, when she put on her Snuggie, logged into her The Facebook account, and started yelling “QUEERS!!!!” at children. It did not take long […]

Those shameless libruls are at it again, making jokes about your teenage daughters and black men and THE SEXING. Only this time, these concepts are being strategically interwoven into a new hawt Tumblr, “Cory Booker Hey Girl” (much more sneaky than two short weeks ago, when Lena Dunham explained the importance of losing one’s virginity […]

Santee, California Mayor Randy Voepel, according to the local Patch, recently received an email from a Chinese fellow who collects autographs asking for a contribution from Voepel. The email sort of resemnbles “spam email,” but we’re only saying that because we’re racist. But instead of deleting the email or not responding or, well, sending him […]

Four East Haven, Connecticut police officers were recently arrested by the FBI for unlawful abuse and search of some of the city’s Latino residents, but Mayor Joe Maturo’s immediate response to the arrests was so heinous as to suggest that maybe the officers had been told to be racist and abusive by a racist and […]

Mayor Michael Nutter, Democrat of Philadelphia, likes to swear, but he only really swears about people who deserve it, nor does he ever apologize for his remarks, and he is therefore kind of great and should run for president. In his latest viral video attempt, Nutter made some remarks about a Tuesday shooting that killed […]

Omnipotent Chicago mob boss and mayor-for-life Richard Daley held a press conference with local reporters yesterday to discuss the city’s handgun ban that will probably be overturned by the Supreme Court, which loves giving citizens of violent death-towns as many handguns as the Constitution permits (10.9 trillion). It was a very serious affair, and Daley […]

Were you in northern New Jersey this morning? Ha ha, now you are in jail, maybe! Seems the FBI arbitrarily decided that today would be a good day to just arrest every powerful person for their obvious, constant corruption crimes, and so they did, and now most mayors, rabbis, and “men from Brooklyn” are in […]

Your Wonkette loves its small-town Republican mayors who overshare their dumb little Obama jokes, so here’s some guy named Boyd Austin. A Wonkette Facebook troll operative claims that Austin is the mayor of something called “Dallas, Georgia.” And in his spare time, Austin likes to update his Facebook status with some of those wacky n***er […]

We were going to give our recap of Barack Obama’s sexy party for mayors today based on this Jake Tapper article, but how lame would that be brosef? “Articles” are for your GRANDFATHER, right, so we’re checking Jake Tapper’s Twitter instead, cuz maybe we’re rad like that? Eh. Mid-major city mayors tend to be too […]

Sometimes comical ex-Detroit mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, was released from Detroit prison after 99 days of memorable anal sex (and a possible conversion to Muslin!) He was picked up by a private driver (remember to pay taxes on that!) and emerged to the screams of a full dozen insane “fans.” He remains on probation, duh, but […]

Things haven’t gotten much better since we last checked in on Kwame Kilpatrick, the comical mayor of Detroit and a leading contender for Barack Obama’s black vice presidency. You may recall that his “woes” include bangin’ his chief of staff — the gal he seduced by texting racy notes about “Benz Chili Bowl” — and […]