The DC police are putting together a book with the 60 most notorious youth offenders so that people in-the-know will be kept abreast of these kids in the rosy-fingered dawn of their careers or something. It too has tenuous privacy implications, just like actual Facebook. [Washington Post] MORE »

• If you were denied your basic human right to attend the Inauguration thanks to “severe logistical breakdowns,” you could be eligible to receive a photo of all the fun you missed on Barry’s special day! [DCist]
• Hey listen up hippies: your all-natural trail mix has diseases. [WTOP]
• Jill, Michelle and Fentys Adrian and “his wife” ate food together at Georgia Brown’s. [DC Examiner]
• Dialectic of enlightenment: Overbearing parents have now become internet trolls in an attempt to prevent their own kids’ school districts ability to function. [Washington Post]
• Rahm Emanuel is telling George Stephanopoulos, King of Lilliput, important secrets on the phone every morning. [Fishbowl DC]

• Christian Kids in Virgina are trying to convince libraries to balance their “pro-gay” collections with books about how Jesus writes passive-aggressive Twitters or whatever every time a gay person smiles. [Washington Post]
• Major Fenty fired one of his neighborhood services coordinators for refusing to buy him Chamomile tea. It helps him sleep at night, dammit!  [City Desk]
• Here’s how your friends in Adams Morgan got wasted during last night’s debate. (Spoiler alert: It was Jello shots, mostly.) [Fishbowl DC]
• A Metro operator did this racist thing in which he talked about people wearing towels on their heads, but only because of how much he loved the Redskins. And what’s more American than that? [DC Examiner]
• Some Slovakian triathletes took pictures of some Virginian children going to school — because they love school buses! [WTOP]

• Meet Huck, a Maverick golden retriever who discovered turpentine in a Rock Creek Park stream. He played in that stream for 5 1/2 years. [City Desk]
• Maryland will eventually be as hot as the desert city of Phoenix, but at least it will be more humid! [DCist]
• Mayor Fenty is anti-union, according to unions, who printed out fliers in color saying as much. [DC Examiner]
• The only things still in DC are orphaned BlackBerrys, some losers who are embarrassed to even be there, and of course President Bush and his friend the president of Tanzania. [Washington Post]
• Some Metro cars received bouncy handles of the future, which are prejudiced towards both short and tall people. [NBC 4]
• The Washington Times cafeteria remains tragically barren, as diplomatic ties with the caterer are crumbling. [Fishbowl DC]