Oooh go now go now before these enterprising Republicans figure out how this “Internet” thing works. (Naturally, the suggestions forum has already been bombarded with Paultards.) [Rebuild the Party]

REACHING AROUND THE AISLE: Sarah P’s “husband and oldest son are independents,” and the rest have yet to vote in an election. [Politico]

Who would make the most terrible running mate for John McCain, an ill-tempered old fraud who is despised by everybody in the Republican Party? Joe Lieberman, of course — another sour old geezer who is despised by everybody in the Democratic Party! It’s a match made in heaven … and here’s why! MORE »

Oh, Texas Republicans, you are always so funny. Here is a fun button worn by everyone at the Texas GOP convention. When not making hilarious rape jokes, Texas Republicans like to make jokes about ambitious coloreds. [America Blog]

Everyone know the UN has failed to solve all those wars and shit it was supposed to solve. This is because it was created and run by pussies. John McCain has a better idea: a thing that’s like the UN but started by a totally tough badass. And instead of like Finland and Sweden and shit it’ll have the USA and, uh… the Green Lantern. MORE »

WALNUTS! McCain is perhaps the last and certainly the loudest presidential candidate to support the Iraq war as it has been fought and lost by the current president, Richard Cheney. He promises, if elected, to continue it onward and upward, forever and ever and ever, until we win three, possibly four more times. America will not lose in Iraq on this maverick’s watch. MORE »

* Rudy G. and Steve Forbes are two crazy peas in one crazy pod. [Shakespeare's Sister]
* Chuck Hagel will show you what maverick means: If think you got his vote for something, fuck it, he’s against it — that’s what real mavericks do. [Political Wire, Hotline on Call]
* Hippy horticulturalists get peace sign to grow on Capitol lawn, man. [Fishwrap]
* Virginia gun owners don’t want their stereotype to go to waste. [Freakonomics]
* Links to more ridiculous shit about Walnuts! [The Left Coaster, Informed Comment]
* Obama campaign gets the page views by any means necessary. [PrezVid]

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John McCain brought his silly bus back this week — you remember the one, the STRAIGHT SHOOTIN’ INDEPENDENT NO-NONSENSE MAVERICK EXPRESS — and it’s pretty much exactly like his magical 2000 campaign that everyone loved except for the bit where he has more money and is an administration stooge now.

Everyone loved his bus back in 2000 because he’d let reporters sit in it and get drunk and chat with him all day long about whatever they wanted and sometimes McCain would say “gook” or “kike” or “colored” and they’d all laugh and then maybe someone would report it and McCain would say he’s sorry he’s such a STRAIGHT TALKER and everyone would laugh some more.

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John McCain has hopped back on the Straight Talk Express, everyone! The Maverick’s back and he’s tellin’ like it is again!

Since the weekend, WALNUTS! has been telling everyone who’ll listen that he hate hate hated ol’ Don Rumsfeld. Walnuts decided a couple days ago that he’s always thought that Rummy was the “one of the worst secretaries of defense” (he’s no Clark Clifford, that’s for damn sure). Reporters dutifully pretended the statement mattered, and McCain dutifully kept saying it.

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There’s nothing the press likes more than a prominent politician hated by every single member of his own party. In a medium where discussing ideology is complex and not particularly fun, it’s easy to declare someone a “moderate” based on nothing but the vehement disgust they inspire in committed partisans. So Joe Lieberman and Chuck Hagel, who hold two of the most extreme positions on Iraq in the US Senate (in opposition to their respective parties), are brothers-in-centrist-arms. MORE »