Wonkette

Usually it’s not worth it to post about Maureen Dowd’s column. She just does her thing. Nicknames, gender stereotypes, alliteration, hackneyed jokes, hackneyed narratives, whatever, let her quill gush forth, just leave us out of it. But things have changed, and she needs an intervention after this shit. Wasn’t this column the first scene from one of the Harry Potter books, with Voldemort talking about evil? Also: we are not notable practitioners of the so-called “Journalistic Ethics,” but is it really worth a New York Times columnist’s time and writerly capital to make things up? Like, entire narratives and motives? This column wouldn’t make the cut at most high school newspapers. Because. The badness. [New York Times]

JOHN EDWARDS WAS GROSS TO MAUREEN DOWD, TOO: “Back in 2002, Edwards sent me a Ken doll dressed in bathing trunks, Rio de Janeiro Ken, with a teasing note, because he didn’t like my reference to him as a Ken doll in a column. In retrospect, the comparison was not fair — to Ken.” [New York Times]

Four-year-old lazy greaseball European gay Himmler-phile Barack Obama continues to be too effete for the United States. He just got back from his stupid trip to Nowheresville, Iraq and pinko Europe and he’s already planning another trip out of the country — this time to “Hawaii,” the main island of Indonesia, where he grew up as a Muslim with pineapples as his only loser friends. From the Washington Post: “Sen. Barack Obama, preparing for the Democratic National Convention and the long march to November, plans to spend about a week in Hawaii in mid-August, mostly on vacation.” We look forward to Maureen Dowd’s interpretation of this on… well whatever day her weird column comes out. [WP/The Trail]

*HOW MUCH DID THEY PAY FOR THAT ONE:* The kids at Radar hear that the New York Times will endorse Hillary Clinton for president in a weekend editorial. Somewhere Paul Krugman is skipping and singing his favorite gleeful showtunes, while Frank Rich and Maureen Dowd are moving to France in whiny sobs. [Radar]

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Listicles, of course, are the year-end gift writers give themselves. But you know what? It’s been such a peculiar year for the Condibot that it would be totally criminal not to look back and reflect on its thrilling awkwardness. Join me on an epic journey through my personal (hey, get your own column!) favorite special moments in Dr. Ferragamo’s 2007, and my picks for AP’s Condirazzi photos of the year, after the jump…

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Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was all about Condi’s big Carnival o’ Peace™ in Annapolis. Yes! That was only a few days ago! Not much happened, but that didn’t stop people from writing about it. Plus: more excerpts from Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography which is maybe going to be serialized in Maureen Dowd’s column. And, finally, it was Mean Caricature Week! After the jump, we’ll relive the Condiweek that was.

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Imus is back, and what better way to celebrate than with this most truthy music video “Nappy Headed Hos” by white boy rap duo Accident of Birth. The lyrics strafe the political landscape: James Carville! Maureen Dowd! Snakes in the head! Tim Russert! Rush Limbaugh! Frank Rich! Tucker Carlson! And then, as if it could get any better, they toss in Humboldt County weed, Devo, John Lennon, Snoop Dogg, the Grateful Dead and Maker’s Mark!!? WTF? Quick, somebody sign these guys! MORE »

Now that TimesSelect has been brutally ousted, we’re gonna post all of the NYT’s op-eds all the time because they’re all just terrible. Maureen Dowd naturally seemed like a great place to start, but a peek at her column from yesterday showed that she had given the space to… Stephen Colbert! That’s some kinda genius, Times! How about you have Stephen Colbert always write MoDo’s column? Or just fire Bob Herbert. Either/or.

A Mock Columnist, Amok [NYT]

Yesterday’s Maureen Dowd column (oh, thank heavens for the end of TimesSelect!) was a wacky inside joke in which Dowd wrote ostensibly from the perspective of Justice Clarence Thomas, railing against Al Gore and disguising it as Anita Hill. Thomas refuses to apologize for denying Gore the presidency because he is a bore. It has been a while since we actually read MoDo regularly, so maybe our grasp of her grasp of irony is a bit rusty, but the whole thing is kinda funny considering how Dowd herself is nearly as responsible for Al’s political destruction as one vilified member of the court that sold him out! MORE »

“Web pundits like Markos Moulitsas of the Daily Kos and Josh Marshall of Talking Points Memo score high likability ratings with certain population segments, but their awareness numbers, which are more important than appeal, E-Poll notes, are barely on the radar screen. The same is largely true of elite newspaper columnists like Thomas Friedman, Maureen Dowd, Robert Novak, E.J. Dionne and Holman Jenkins.” [Forbes]