Tag Archives: maureen dowd

  let's gossip about the week's top stories

Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won't be there. OR WILL SHE?
Coming soon to a town near you, but Sarah Palin won’t be there. OR WILL SHE? Hey Wonkers! We had a big week! Did YOU have a big week in your job? Just kidding, this post is not about you. Did you hear the big news about how Editrix Becca invested in a Winnebago for the Wonkette, so we can do onsite “journalism” at the Iowa caucuses and the Republican convention and wherever else news is happening? Or wherever else we decide to do drinky things. We are going to do ALL the activities, and you should be very excited. Read more on Just Biding Our Time Until We Find Josh Duggar’s Grindr At This Point. Your Weekly Top Ten….
  all the dicks that're fit to lick

Donald Trump, Who Owns Everything But A Mirror, Called Heidi Klum Ugly

Not yooge. There I was, minding everyone’s business, reading EOnline I guess. “The woman in question this time around was supermodel Heidi Klum. ‘Sometimes I do go a little bit far,’ [Donald Trump] admitted, before adding, ‘Heidi Klum. Sadly, she’s no longer a 10.'” Read more on Donald Trump, Who Owns Everything But A Mirror, Called Heidi Klum Ugly…
  Presidents: They're Just Like Us!

Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans

The feeling appears to be mutual.
The chattering classes have been poring over David Axelrod’s new book because it is full of all sorts of JUICY gossip about the most powerful man in the free world, B. Hussein Nobummer. Details continue to dribble out, but this one caught Yr Wonkette’s eye because it involves Maureen Dowd, who is terrible. Vox’s Dylan Matthews gives us a long blockquote about Obama’s “intense loathing” for Dowd, but here’s the best part. Read more on Barack Obama Hates Maureen Dowd, As Do All Patriotic Americans…
  Smoke your medicine

Colorado Is Gonna Smoke All The Marijuana — For Science!

It's for SCIENCE
Now that every single person in Colorado is hiiiiiiiigh on the reefer — except for lawyers; no weed for you, esquires — the state is going to invest your hard-earned pot dollars in scientific research to find out just how freakin’ awesome medical marijuana really is: Read more on Colorado Is Gonna Smoke All The Marijuana — For Science!…
  Some Men Just Want To Call The World Flat

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition

Holy nightmare fuel, Batman!
Most of the news today is predictably awful, so we will just skim it, thank you. Good god, you people aren’t actually relying on Yr Wonkette to be informed, are you? It looks like the government of Hong Kong is trying to avoid going all Tienanmen Square on pro-democracy protesters, so that’s a good thing. The federal government is trying to reach out to disaffected Muslim youth in America to prevent them from joining ISIS and other terrorist groups, a task which is made difficult by the fact that the government has done so much to treat American Muslims like pariahs (and American wingnuts keep calling for more). See the treatment of NPR’s Sarah Abdurrahman during a routine crossing from Canada back into the US last year for an example of actions that may be even more likely than AP History to make people hate this government. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Tom Friedman Rented ‘Batman’ Edition…
  Can Willie Be Our Weed Sensei Too?

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition

This child can't stand Maureen Dowd either
With no single national calamity to focus on this week, the Sunday New York Times brings us mélange of Big Journalism on Important Topics, the general drift of which leads us to wish we’d stayed in bed. For starters, there’s another must-read piece by Elizabeth Rosenthal, whose specialty is digging into just why the American medical system manages to be the world’s most expensive even though it doesn’t actually cover everyone. No, not even under Obamacare, imagine that. This time out, Rosenthal looks at the phenomenon of surprise extra fees in hospital bills, which can come from seemingly anywhere. As reimbursement rates from both Medicare and private insurance have been cut, hospitals have been bringing in high-priced, out-of-network specialists to help with tasks that often used to be done by residents or other hospital employees. Take, for instance, Rosenthal’s lead example of Peter Drier, a guy who had back surgery that he thought he’d planned for financially, but which resulted in bills from both the surgeon he knew would do the operation (and who readily accepted Drier’s insurance reimbursement, about $6,200), and an “assistant surgeon” who charged just under $117,000 and would not negotiate on the cost: Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Maureen Dowd Gets Pot Lessons From Willie Nelson Edition…
  Doob The Right Thing

Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo

The bad trip scene in that movie was kind of epic
Thank god, a Maureen Dowd column has finally resulted in something good for the world. After she chowed down on a pot candy bar and got super-hiiiiiiigh — very unpleasantly so — the legal marijuana industry in Colorado has referenced her “bad trip” column as part of an advertising campaign promoting Safe ‘n’ Responsible doobage. Read more on Colorado PSA: Don’t Eat All The Pot Candy Like That Idiot MoDo…
  But Still More ISIS Than You Want

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Kinetic Action, Dead Saints, And Less ISIS Than You Might Think

In this alternate universe, the Sunday NYT has a comics section
Good morning, ye Wonkers! Today’s top story is that Yr Doktor Zoom is once again breathing through both nostrils. You may have thought that ISIS or Syria or sportsball scandals or something was big, but that is merely because you Lack Perspective. Sadly, your Sunday New York Times has completely ignored the press release we sent them, so we will just knuckle under and let them dictate what counts as “news” — this stubborn insistence on top-down story selection, by the way, is why their medium is dying. Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Kinetic Action, Dead Saints, And Less ISIS Than You Might Think…
  Don't Read The Comments

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Child Labor’s Still Pretty Cool For Tobacco Growers

The best way to read your Sunday NYT
We depend on our Sunday New York Times for in-depth reporting on stuff that we may or may not care about, and on a good day we might even learn about something we had no idea we should have to care about, and now we can sound like a big know it all. Into that last column, let’s drop today’s story about teenagers who work 12-hour shifts on tobacco farms, like the 13-year-old we meet in the lede. But don’t worry, the growers provide safety equipment, of a sort: Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Child Labor’s Still Pretty Cool For Tobacco Growers…
  Sunday Bloody New York Times Sunday

At The New York Times, A Slow News Day

Fred Stein, 'Children reading newspaper' 1936
Things have quieted down in Ferguson and we have a holiday weekend, so the New York Times is full of analysis-type stuff today. There’s a pretty good piece on Democrats’ attempts to mobilize African-American voters who are outraged over Michael Brown’s shooting (and another story about that effort in Ferguson, specifically). There’s also longish story about the Chinese Communist Party’s attempt to prevent Hong Kong from doing free-n-fair elections, which is both well-reported and interesting, but which we bet you won’t read because it is not sexxay, you laggards. Go on, we dare you! You probably can’t handle it! The big breaking news of the morning, we guess, is the St. Louis Rams’ cutting Michael Sam, and if you read the New York Times for sports news, that’s in there too. Read more on At The New York Times, A Slow News Day…
 

You’ll Prefer Reading About Ebola Nurses Over Reading Maureen Dowd In The Sunday NY Times

Look, Mommy! Daddy has an analog tablet!
We’re still getting used to bringing you this New York Times roundup on Sundays, so bear with us. It’s a nice break from “Sundays With the Christianists” (which will be back at some point — there’s no shortage of material), but we’re still adjusting to writing about reality, as brought to you mostly by “reporters” instead of the fanciful Goddiddit tropes of our previous Sunday reading. Happily, for the fantasy element, we still have the columnists. Read more on You’ll Prefer Reading About Ebola Nurses Over Reading Maureen Dowd In The Sunday NY Times…
  the commentczar's in town

Deleted Messages Of The Day: If You Read The Bible, You’d Know How Real Demons Are, You Moron

To the editors: I liked the old library better.
Time for another trip to the comments queue well, where we skim off the finest of our would-be commenters’ contributions. First up, a real treat: an actual good old-fashioned email sent to Yr. Doktor Zoom by “Vinbin76,” who had a bone to pick with us after we made fun of that dumb WND piece selling DVDs by claiming that Robin Williams committed suicide because of demonic possession. It’s a tad long, so we’ll tighten it up a bit. Vinbin76 takes a dim view of most Christians and an even dimmer view of Yr Doktor Zoom: Read more on Deleted Messages Of The Day: If You Read The Bible, You’d Know How Real Demons Are, You Moron…
  It's Baaaaaack

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension

Mom always read the Times to us dring the Nixon administration
Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday is back, kids, and of course we have to start our perusal of the Newspaper of Record with its coverage of events overnight in Ferguson, Missouri. Not surprisingly, the midnight curfew declared by Gov. Jay Nixon yesterday didn’t exactly bring peace and quiet — demonstrations continued, the police fired tear gas, and seven demonstrators were arrested. Why the tear gas, after Capt. Ron Johnson had promised that it wouldn’t be used? At a press conference, Johnson Read more on Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday Returns, Now With 40% More Racial Tension…
  Let It Go

Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd

Maureen Dowd has been eating jazz cookies again. One time she met Robin Williams, which makes her think about her friend Michael Kelly, who later died covering the war in Iraq, and that’s why Hillary Clinton is a monster. Wait, what? Read more on Cool Robin Williams Story, Maureen Dowd…
  persons attempting to find a moral will be banished

Maureen Dowd Is Meh About A Thing

Guys, we’re really sorry we haven’t gotten around to announcing the big tote-bag winners of our most recent photoshop and caption contests; we really will get to those soon, and you should believe us, because we are professional bloggers. But in the meantime, we have a REAL challenge for you: Can you find a point in Maureen Dowd’s Tuesday column about Barack Obama and technology? At least we think that’s what it was about. Maybe it was about him being feckless or something. All we could tell is that it was quite a few column inches of Maureen Dowd being vaguely displeased with how this president does things, but with no real criticism beyond the hazy sense that stage-managed presidential media appearances are insincere, and so maybe it would be better if Barack Obama had a holodeck. We think. Read more on Maureen Dowd Is Meh About A Thing…
  you can't dust for vomit

Maureen Dowd Just Wants To Get Hiiiiiiigh

Everyone is having a mighty fine laugh over that idiot Maureen Dowd, and how she had a bad trip on “the pot.” Oh ho ho, what an idiot, they are chortling, can’t even eat a delicious marijuana candy bar without curling into a ball and weeping for eight hours. It certainly couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Except it has happened to a nicer guy, and that nicer guy is me, your Editrix! (Shut up, bitchfuckers, I AM THE NICEST.) I stand with MoDo, today and … today. Only. Seriously, that lady is usually fucking useless. Do you think a Monica Lewinsky monster loomed over her in the pitch black of the Denver Hyatt, smacking its blood red lips? Read more on Maureen Dowd Just Wants To Get Hiiiiiiigh…