Tag: Matthew Boyle

Donald Trump’s New Daddy Turned Dead Breitbart Into Most Delightful, Bigoted Sh*thole On Internet

A deep, wonky dive into how hard Breitbart and Stephen Bannon suck.
He was only wearing it for a costume, he swears.

Donald Trump Doesn’t Want To Press ‘1’ To Hear Jeb Bush Lose In English

Louche stool Donald Trump gave an exclusive interview to Dead Breitbart's Home for Terrified White People on Wednesday, and revealed that not only is he certain he'll be elected president in 2016, but he's pretty sure he'll win re-election in...
You're looking especially Muppetlike today, Senator

NJ Sen. Robert Menendez Indicted; Sorry, Daily Caller, No Fake Underaged Hookers This Time

Sen. Robert Menendez (D-New Jersey) has been indicted on corruption charges by the Justice Department in a bribery scandal that Yr Wonkette would never even cover if the guy had been a Democrat. He's accused of receiving campaign contributions...
Douche fight! Douche fight!

NRA Will Drown Grover Norquist’s Islamic Terrorism In A Bathtub

Better take cover, kids, because there's a big ol' Battle of the Rightwing True Believers a-brewin', and there's no telling where the stray rounds will hit. Seems that Grover Norquist is getting a little Politics of Personal Destruction thrown...
#BetterThanJeb

Conservatives React To Jeb Bush With Usual Thoughtfulness And Rage-Induced Aneurysms

Jeb Bush’s announcement this morning that he is exploring maybe thinking about the possibility of considering a run for the presidency has set off an awesome fit of rage and whining among the true conservatives of the right, and...
Just to be clear: This is sarcasm. Really!

U.S. (And Coalition, Sure) Bombs ISIS In Syria, Yay!

Excellent news, everybody! We're at war again! Ha-ha, we are joking -- we are always at war, but we are also never "really" at war! We are at Kinetic Counter-Terrorism Operation again, with shiny new airstrikes on ISIS and...

The Daily Caller Is Being Run By Cuban Communists

You may or may not remember the story about New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez allegedly doing sex with prostitutes, whom he then didn't even pay, and then later it was claimed that the hookers were underaged, even. Hahaha, of...

GOP Senator Has Sick Old Wife With Dementia, Maybe A Mistress, And Matthew Boyle Is ON IT.

We’re still trying to make sense of this utterly bizarre and disgusting story that came out of Mississippi over the weekend. It involves Sen. Thad Cochran (R), who is running for re-election to a seventh term in office this...

Tea Party Has A New Squishy Liberal To Hate, You Will Never Guess Who (It Is Eric Cantor)

Remember Eric Cantor? Republican from Virginia, Majority Leader for his caucus in the House, perpetually looks like a guy entering his ninth day of trying to poop out a dildo that some overly enthusiastic District hooker shoved so far...

Brave Hero Breitbart Reporter CRUSHES Dumb Buzzfeed Guy Who Lied All Over Donald Trump

These are dark days indeed for McKay Coppins, some dumb guy from Buzzfeed who wrote a totally uncalled-for scurrilous PACK OF LIES about Donald Trump, who as everyone knows is the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST GUY, and then McKay Coppins forced...

Guy Who Dissed The Troops Five Years Ago Writes About Something Else, Wingnuts Outraged

OMG you guise!!! There is a man out there in America who does not love The Troops! And he is still allowed to write things for a living! Even though The Troops have bled and died for his right...

Marco Rubio Fights To End Tea Party Migration To Other 2016 Candidates

Faced with a massive wave of Tea Partiers fleeing from his 2016 presidential hopes because of his support for comprehensive immigration reform, Florida Senator Marco Rubio is doing what he can to build a higher wall against further progress...

Iowa Rep. Steve King Wins The Morning With Anti-Immigration Rally For Crowd Of Tens

Iowa congressman Steve King was the star speaker at a "Stop Amnesty" rally in Richmond, Virginia, Monday, and supporters stayed away in droves -- the crowd was estimated at between 30 and 60 people, almost none of whom...

Mitt Romney Says Thing, Upsets Wingnuts; No, This Is Not A Rerun From Last August

Remember last August when Lord Mittens Willington Hair Helmet Nom Nom Romney XIV was running for vicar or Lobster King or some such shit, and we would report on every syllable out of his mouth because that is how...

Barack Obama Ignoring Immigration Laws, Probably Jaywalking While Doing Rape and Murder

In his quest to misunderstand/misrepresent/ignore the context of everything ever, web-toed glandular mutant Matthew Boyle of Dead Andy Breitbart’s Embalming Fluid Emporium has taken the Obama Administration to task for being elected by a majority of voters twice exercising...

Matthew Boyle’s Latest Crusade For Breitbart’s Corpse: Let’s Put Those Awful Obama Daughters In Their Place

Striking a blow for Freedom from Decency and the "gentlemen's agreements" that have for too long kept presidents' children from being the political punching bags that 11 and 14 year olds totally need to be, Breitbart.com's Chaotic Evil Shitbag...