Matthew Boyle

You may or may not remember the story about New Jersey Sen. Robert Menendez allegedly doing sex with prostitutes, whom he then didn’t even pay, and then later it was claimed that the hookers were underaged, even. Hahaha, of course you remember it — you read Wonket, and are perforce a salacious-minded weirdo, gods bless […]

We’re still trying to make sense of this utterly bizarre and disgusting story that came out of Mississippi over the weekend. It involves Sen. Thad Cochran (R), who is running for re-election to a seventh term in office this fall. But first he faces a primary from a wingnut by the name of Chris McDaniel, […]

Remember Eric Cantor? Republican from Virginia, Majority Leader for his caucus in the House, perpetually looks like a guy entering his ninth day of trying to poop out a dildo that some overly enthusiastic District hooker shoved so far up his rectum that it lodged against his liver? Yeah, that guy. Cantor has been angling […]

These are dark days indeed for McKay Coppins, some dumb guy from Buzzfeed who wrote a totally uncalled-for scurrilous PACK OF LIES about Donald Trump, who as everyone knows is the YOOGEST, CLASSIEST GUY, and then McKay Coppins forced Donald Trump to fire his own top aide! What a dick! It is dark days for […]

OMG you guise!!! There is a man out there in America who does not love The Troops! And he is still allowed to write things for a living! Even though The Troops have bled and died for his right to have written a blog post titled “Fuck the Troops” in 2008! And Politico just published […]

Faced with a massive wave of Tea Partiers fleeing from his 2016 presidential hopes because of his support for comprehensive immigration reform, Florida Senator Marco Rubio is doing what he can to build a higher wall against further progress on fixing America’s broken immigration system. It is not known whether his new opposition to immigration […]

Iowa congressman Steve King was the star speaker at a “Stop Amnesty” rally in Richmond, Virginia, Monday, and supporters stayed away in droves — the crowd was estimated at between 30 and 60 people, almost none of whom appeared to be valedictorians or drug mules with calves the size of cantaloupes. Despite the disappointing turnout, […]

Remember last August when Lord Mittens Willington Hair Helmet Nom Nom Romney XIV was running for vicar or Lobster King or some such shit, and we would report on every syllable out of his mouth because that is how we roll during the interminable election season? Well it is one year later and not much […]

In his quest to misunderstand/misrepresent/ignore the context of everything ever, web-toed glandular mutant Matthew Boyle of Dead Andy Breitbart’s Embalming Fluid Emporium has taken the Obama Administration to task for being elected by a majority of voters twice exercising prosecutorial discretion with regard to immigration law. Oh Bamz, surely you are aware that utilizing such […]

Striking a blow for Freedom from Decency and the “gentlemen’s agreements” that have for too long kept presidents’ children from being the political punching bags that 11 and 14 year olds totally need to be, Breitbart.com’s Chaotic Evil Shitbag Matthew Boyle triumphantly revealed the specific location where Sasha and Malia Obama are vacationing (link is […]

Whey-faced tube of cookie dough Matthew Boyle, ace staff reporter at Corpse Andrew Breitbart’s Internet Resting Place, has quite the scoopy scoop today. As faithful readers know, Boil Boyle has been hot on the trail of New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez (D-Of Course) and some shenanigans what he done maybe got up to involving a […]

Next-gen rightwing journamalism Great White Hope Matthew Boyle was pretty proud when the FBI did some boring raid on some shady eye doctor allegedly organizing underage sex-hookers for New Jersey Senator Bob Menendez. Boyle had been beating his horse for months over it, while no one respectable would touch it. (Your Wonkette, along with the […]

Hi single people! Sorry about the uber-commercialized “fuck you I’m getting laid tonight” holiday that coupled people foist on you every February. You really don’t deserve it. But take solace in at least one thing: you are not Matthew Boyle of Breitbart/Daily Tucker fame. Most normal Americans will spend the day avoiding their Facebook Feed […]

Oh, Trayvon Martin, we are so sorry you are dead. You were just a few months younger than our own terrible son, who is terrible. We understand from others that this is not “rare.” And that he may grow out of it by the time he’s 25, or 30. You will not be 25 or […]

Bloated cub reporter Matthew Boyle is so mad you guys. Did you know that Martha Raddatz, who moderated the vice presidential debate, has close personal ties with a certain Kenyan Impostor? And that he came to her wedding to some guy she has since divorced? Because it was 400 years ago? And that neither she […]