Eliot Spitzer was on the Today show this morning to chat with Matt Lauer about that time the latter fought a deer with his bike, and lost. Now look, jokes about how Eliot Spitzer made it with all the ladies are not funny anymore, at all (although it is funny in this interview when Matt Lauer basically asks Spitzer how many hookers he’s sexed, specifically). Spitzer is smart and goddamnit he should have another job! He should still be running New York! Total FBI-Wall Street conspiracy set-up with this guy, maybe. [MSNBC/Salon]

Man, the inauguration, remember that? All sorts of famous people went to Washington D.C. to see the most famous celebrity of all, Michelle Obama. Wonkette readers spotted such elusive figures as “Paul Bengala,” a rare tiger-pundit hybrid, as well as “Matt Laurer,” a retired wrestler and morning talk show host. You also saw legitimate celebrities such as Tom Brokaw, Kurtis Blow, and Miss France. Most importantly, Kev-O-Tron and SayItWithWookies got to hang out with each other in “real life,” which is just adorable. Details after the jump.

Have you left your basement recently and seen somebody sort of famous, preferably a person kind of related to politics? Send your reports to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “Wonk’d.” MORE »

Sarah Palin went on the Today show wearing the same faux-bondage pink jacket she wore the day after the whole “Wasilla hillbillies raiding Neiman Marcus” scandal broke. (This is why there will never again be a woman candidate for public office, because women’s fashion choices are so mercilessly deconstructed by evil bloggers, etc.) She talks at length about the remarks she prepared to give before John McCain’s concession speech. She worked on these remarks for a week, with some top speechwriters! But then, inexplicably, she was told to just shut her yap and stand there like a normal VP candidate while McCain gave the first and only gracious speech of his campaign. This Palin is a real firecracker. Has she thought about running for president? [MSNBC]

Here’s WALNUTS! on this morning’s Today show, fucking himself over. He says that getting our troops out of Iraq is “not too important” considering the fact that we have military bases in such places as Japan and Germany, still. You may recall this “permanent occupation” line of logic from the Republican primary season, as it was the single most horrifying thing a presidential candidate said all cycle. Ohhh, WALNUTS! [YouTube]

Did you know the famous “3 A.M. Girl” in Hillary’s POLITICS OF FEAR ad is in the tank for Obama? Apparently, her family shopped her out as a little girl to be in non-POLITICS OF FEAR commercials, and that footage was then sold to the wire service Getty. That way, cheap Getty subscribers, like the Hillary Clinton campaign, could use the footage for anything — including the POLITICS OF FEAR. Watch this girl now denounce and reject Hillary, on this morning’s Today. [MSNBC]

In last night’s interview with Matt Lauer, Sen. Craig blames the scandal on a slow hurricane season, talks about getting jerked in the bathroom and how he used to “take it in” before things got too aggressive. Hello sailor! Oh, and he’s still not gay. MORE »

As the hype machine from today’s Today snippet continues to roll out, the entire wise-ass world anxiously awaits Matt Lauer’s hour-long interview with Sen. Larry Craig. 8 p.m. Tonight. NBC. Between Lauer and Craig, no 60 minutes of television will have ever aired such repressed homosexuality.

Sen. Craig to break silence on airport arrest [MSNBC]

Apparently not yet ready for the “serious” questioning he’d get on a Sunday morning, Larry Craig (and his terrifying wife) will subject themselves to an awkward chat with Matt Lauer next Tuesday, after an interview on local Idaho TV. This will be his first TV appearance since his arrest for toilet cruising in a Minneapolis airport, his guilty plea, his promise to resign, his legal challenge of the guilty plea, that challenge’s dismissal, and his announcement that no, on second thought he won’t be retiring after all. No word yet on whether his sad adopted children will be joining the happy couple. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Matt Lauer hosts a dinner at Cafe Milano for Meredith Vieira… Sales of Ann Coulter’s new book are strong… Alberto Gonzales denies that his children download music illegally. [WP]

• Heard on the Hill: Rep. Lynn Westmoreland (R-GA) is boning up on the Ten Commandments, after being unable to name all of them on The Colbert Report… Rep. Howard Coble gets invited to the White House, takes a female staffer — picked through a lottery — as his guest. [Roll Call]
• Page Six: Celebs turn out to try and convince DNC executive director Tom McMahon that New York should be selected to host the Democratic national convention; Barbara Walters promises to take McMahon out and get him drunk. [NYP]