The UK’s Telegraph publication completed its list of “the 50 most influential US political pundits” today with the top ten, and it’s only half-retarded. The big problem is that Matt Drudge comes in at #6, when there is no question that he should be #1. No one else on this list would have anything to say, and say all too often, if it weren’t for Matt Drudge. You really cannot underestimate this. Stupid England. [Telegraph]

It’s never too early to do a little Christmas shopping for your worst enemies, especially when the “shopping” is free! Send the people you hate a shitty poster of these beloved “conservative women” bloggers. Ha ha it’s funny because wingnuts are always complaining about “loose women” or whatever. Choose from Ann Coulter smoking on the balcony, Michele Malkin in the woods with a liberal computer, or Keith Richards. (PS — Don’t really do this because the “free” posters actually cost $7. Just print up a few at work. Use all the color cartridges. After all, you’ll be giving them to the people you hate most: the people you work for.) [Free "Luce Lady" Posters]

See, it was Reuters who said Hillary is the devil. [Drudge Report]

Christmas came ten months early this morning, when the Internet’s Matt Drudge claimed that some Clinton staffers had circulated this fantastic photo over the weekend of Barack Obama in his element on a trip to Kenya in 2006. Obama campaign manager David Plouffe slammed the Clinton campaign for “shameful offensive fear-mongering,” when really it’s just kind of funny. [Drudge Report]

What happened, Matt Drudge? Did the New York Times buy the Drudge Report? We can’t think of any other logical explanation for why you’d suddenly stop using your precious plain Arial font and start using red-communist liberal Times New Roman.

Not that it will last, but our nation’s ears have a little respite of peace today, because poor Hillary Clinton lost her voice. And then she cried about it. And make no mistake, these tears were real, because the only thing the Clintons will truly cry about is not being able to hear the sound of their own voice. [Drudge Report]

Matt Drudge is super excited about this dumb web-video game. “Online shooting game lets kids target presidential candidates,” he typed on Drudge Report today. Tragically, it’s just “virtual paintball” — an even dumber version of the dumb corporate-retreat diversion in which people play some sort of capture-the-flag game and aim the paint pellets at each others’ nuts. Also, the Rudy Giuliani in this game still has his iconic 9/11 combover. [Presidential Paintball]

Have you ever seen a sadder Drudge Report Siren? Hillary can’t leave Matt, not after he’s been telling the world how she’s so smart and tough and the whole President Clinton Jr. thing is inevitable! Hang in there, Matt! Hillary might still be your Queen.

DRUDGE REPORT FLASH

Will any of us ever forget where we were the day Matt Drudge tried to make a triple funny? NEVER FORGET!

Drudge Report
Earlier: Drudge Finds Mind For the Sole Purpose of Losing It Again

Yesterday, the Politico introduced us all to Mitt Romney’s $300 makeup consultant. “Hidden Beauty” in West Hill, CA is “a mobile beauty team for hair, makeup and men’s grooming and spa services,” making it the gayest thing to appear in FEC filings for the last quarter. Back when the Politico did this same deal with John Edwards and his fancy-schmancy haircut, veteran blogger Matt Drudge gave it a big link and five hundred siren gifs and said “DEVELOPING” in Courier New. The Romney story, while basically the exact same, gets no love from Matt. Why? Because Matt has a cruuuuush… MORE »

God help us all, we think he’s trying to make a “joke.” MORE »