Oh everyone look at Matt Drudge’s new failing meme: Obama, he’s so skinny right?, because of the exercise and the oversized t-shirts he likes to wear while exercising. Wrong. He is definitely chain smoking and throwing up all the low-calorie food he isn’t eating, and definitely not simply working out, as he is pictured doing in the photo accompanying Drudge’s story. [Drudge Report, image via The Awl]

Do you people still check out the Drudge Report thing? Yeah we don’t really either. But Gawker tells us that nowadays Matt Drudge only posts articles about Barack Obama and Serena Williams and whatever other black people exist beating up white people and line judges everywhere, most likely on buses. Well, Matt’s given out your lead story assignment for the night, news anchors, so let’s have some rough drafts ready by four okay? [Gawker]

Time magazine chief clownsack Mark Halperin, the reporter who modernized “bullshit” for the post-Cold War era, is cold goin’ nuts in this, the most anticipated edition of HALPERIN’S TAKE in 350 years. He actually produces some trenchant TAKES within his ten TAKES, but we all know that this is what’s really getting him all riled up: “7. Please stop saying that Matt Drudge has lost his influence — or that those who point out his obvious influence are therefore celebrating his influence.” Yeah come on guys! Mark Halperin’s got like nine books resting on the key assertion that Matt Drudge determines everything in politics! [The Page]

Let’s see, what do the nuts have to complain about today? That Barack Hussein is lookin’ at white folk in a critical-like fashion! Yes, yes he can. So much for the “good old days,” when the only coloreds in the White House were the Help, and you can bet your white ass they wouldn’t be all up in your grill, looking at you, when you were talking to them. Barack Obama should jes’ look down at his loose shoes when he’s gettin’ spoke to. [The Awl]

Your Wonkette prides itself on staying current with the latest entrants into the cancerous wasteland of Political Blogging, as it is our duty to inform America about where it should spend its non-Wonkette online time, instead of at the Huffington Post. This week, we have thoroughly studied the new “megablog” from Matt Drudge’s personal slave, Andrew Breitbart. Breitbart described his latest project, Big Hollywood, in a Moonie Times column this week as such: “Big Hollywood is not a ‘celebrity’ gabfest or a gossip outpost - it is a continuous politics and culture posting board for those who think something has gone drastically wrong and that Hollywood should return to its patriotic roots.” To answer your immediate question, yes, Kathryn Jean Lopez is a contributor. MORE »

SARA K. SMITH IS PRESIDENT OF DRUDGE REPORT: Your favorite Wonkette editrix is also writing comical blog posts serious journalism for NBC in, uh, New York. And Los Angeles. And she got a DRUDGE LINK for her very first piece, about how lonely puritanical Democrats don’t have any Sexy Scandals — it’s right there in bold, italic and underline in the right-hand column. This is the equivalent of winning the Pulitzer/Nobel/Oscar times 1 billion on your first day at work. [NBC New York/NBC Los Angeles/Drudge Report]

Hey kids, here’s your current top story on Matt Drudge’s wingnut bastion, The Drudge Report. He is so upset about Obama’s middle finger popping up as he scratches his face, which happens all the time! Who knew that Obama would be so stupid as to intentionally flip off his challenger the day before an election, thus ruining all of his chances? Matt Drudge is So Powerful. With this kind of election-eve material, maybe he’ll get his very own diary on RedState some day! [YouTube]

Hmm. It appears as though Matt Drudge is speaking Muslim now. He is so ahead of the curve. [Drudge]

Just to reiterate, but isn’t it funny that the Republicans nominated the guy Matt Drudge hates more than anyone? [Drudge Report]

MATT DRUDGE GAY STRIPPER CHAKA KHAN OUTRAGE: When Drudge was growing up in Maryland, he was friends with a dude who later became a college professor in Washington and then a gay stripper, and has now written a book, which mentions how Drudge totally loved Chaka Khan back in the day. [Gawker]

We were just enjoying this Politico story about how Matt Drudge hearts Barack Obama and this is Reason #2,098,388 why John McCain won’t be president. And then, just as we clicked for the next page, we had a brief glance at the world’s most insane, perfect blog comment in America’s long stupid history of blog comments. Really. Come see. MORE »