You guy, I’m worried about WND, Joseph Farah’s No. 1 News Source for Copy-and-Pasted Chuck Norris Columns. First came the screaming headline EXECUTIVE-ORDER PANIC: MARTIAL LAW IN THE U.S.? and three long paragraphs explaining President Barack O’Stalin’s nefarious plans to ration your wimmen, helpfully summed up here: A Canada Free Press article titled “Obama Executive [...]
Sad lumpen unemployed bitter former radio talker, inveterate gossip, bridge burner, and total future Wonkette editorial trainee John Ziegler has a scoop that can no longer be confirmed by his alleged source, late American blogger Andrew Breitbart, and boy is it a doozy! According to Ziegler, Drudge was in man-love with Barack Obama and kept [...]
American blog owner Andrew Breitbart is dead. He was 43 years old, and reportedly died of “natural causes” in Los Angeles early this morning. We knew Breitbart — “we,” meaning many of us who have written for Wonkette, including young Riley Waggaman, pictured above at left — and he was a pleasant enough goofball in [...]
Did you know that Rick Santorum is a very Christian person? He’d always come across to us like a publicly secular, church on Easter and Christmas only kinda guy who doesn’t really “buy into all that stuff.” But nope, he’s Christian as the dickens, and he sees everything as a struggle between God and Satan. [...]
It turns out that daily catastrophic tornadoes are not the only problem faced by America’s cities these days. Traditionally at the bottom of America’s socioeconomic system since being brought here in chains at the bottom of slave slips, black people seem to once again be having a very hard time of it during the Great [...]
“First lady Michelle Obama appears to have violated Illinois law — when she engaged in political discussion at a polling place!” Wha? Oh no! Exclamation point, for sure! After Michelle Obama finished turning in her early-voting ballot today (DRUDGE SIRENS! Update your residency, miss! You live in D.C.!), some voters asked if they could take [...]
WEIGEL RESIGNS IN DISGUST: OK, we do not know if he is disgusted, but we sure are! The Washington Post’s great experiment in assigning someone who knows what he’s doing and works hard to cover a political movement ends in failure. Weigel quit in the wake of his note to a private email list that [...]
Here’s the Emotional Clip from today’s Obamar press conference, where he tries to prove that he is “sufficiently enraged” over this whole oil spill with an anecdote, about how his freaking daughter wakes him up every morning by asking the annoying question, “Did you plug the hole yet, daddy?” Send that gal to military school, [...]
JULI WEINER IS THE NEW POLITICO: Bloodthirsty ambitious blog monster Juli Weiner, your beloved ex-Wonkette editor who is now editor-in-chief of New York City’s Vanity Fair organization (the Mafia), typed up some wacky jokes today about the faptastic new $100 bill looking all European and socialist, probably before going to her business lunch at a [...]
Matt Drudge is such an OCD closet queen with massive Asperger’s and autism and stuff. These are the kind of Mutant Powers of obnoxiousness that are required to make money in America these days. But it also results in strange outbursts like this, where he is compelled to tell Malia Obama, via a link to [...]
Oh everyone look at Matt Drudge’s new failing meme: Obama, he’s so skinny right?, because of the exercise and the oversized t-shirts he likes to wear while exercising. Wrong. He is definitely chain smoking and throwing up all the low-calorie food he isn’t eating, and definitely not simply working out, as he is pictured doing [...]
Do you people still check out the Drudge Report thing? Yeah we don’t really either. But Gawker tells us that nowadays Matt Drudge only posts articles about Barack Obama and Serena Williams and whatever other black people exist beating up white people and line judges everywhere, most likely on buses. Well, Matt’s given out your [...]
Time magazine chief clownsack Mark Halperin, the reporter who modernized “bullshit” for the post-Cold War era, is cold goin’ nuts in this, the most anticipated edition of HALPERIN’S TAKE in 350 years. He actually produces some trenchant TAKES within his ten TAKES, but we all know that this is what’s really getting him all riled [...]
Let’s see, what do the nuts have to complain about today? That Barack Hussein is lookin’ at white folk in a critical-like fashion! Yes, yes he can. So much for the “good old days,” when the only coloreds in the White House were the Help, and you can bet your white ass they wouldn’t be [...]
Your Wonkette prides itself on staying current with the latest entrants into the cancerous wasteland of Political Blogging, as it is our duty to inform America about where it should spend its non-Wonkette online time, instead of at the Huffington Post. This week, we have thoroughly studied the new “megablog” from Matt Drudge’s personal slave, [...]
