We’re not quite heartless enough to mock benefits for deserving charities, but… well, we’re about to mock a benefit for a deserving charity. Because the theme of the benefit is “The Funniest Celebrity in Washington.” MORE »

Today’s edition of Wonk’d comes with a pretty picture. First, the sighting:

On Wednesday [3/22] I saw Kimora Lee Simmons (Russell Simmons’s wife) in her SUPER GOD DAMN OBNOXIOUS “tour bus” (what the fuck is she touring for??). Her “job” is to make sure Russ gets plenty of BJs, that her breast implants are replaced and upgraded every couple of years, and she gets enough publicity for marrying a rich black dude… But here’s the kicker: an official US govt. black SUV (license plate USSS9) was escorting her from downtown down M street to the Four Seasons Hotel!!! Your tax dollars at work, folks! Is this a great fucking country or what???

And now, the picture:

Finally, an addendum from this reader:

Turns out she’s on a ‘book-signing’ tour for her new book, ‘Fabulosity.’ (As if she can or even has to read or write!! More brainless bimbos taking up causes they can’t even pronounce. Gotta love it.)

After the jump, additional celeb sightings (but sans pictures). Remember: please continue to send us your sightings, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line. Thanks everyone!

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• Time reporter Viveca Novak says Karl Rove was the likely source of a July 2003 article about Valerie Plame. Novak: “I remember [Rove's lawyer] looking at me and saying something to the effect of ‘Karl doesn’t have a [Matt Cooper] problem. He was not a source for Matt.’ I responded instinctively, thinking he was trying to spin me, and said something like, ‘Are you sure about that? That’s not what I hear around Time.’ He looked surprised and very serious.” [Time, NYT, WSJ]
• Sen. Frist threatens to use the “nuclear option” to save Samuel Alito from a filibuster. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.): “We’re not close to a deal.” [WP, NYT, LAT]
• White House flack Trent Duffy: “What you will see more of next year is the president going back to the basics — winning the war and growing the economy and creating jobs.” [WT]
• Sen. Clinton’s quiet, centrist approach to Iraq “is drawing increasing scorn from liberal activists.” [WP]
• Ronald Brownstein on Alito’s abortion memos: “It’s still not clear these disclosures will seriously threaten Alito’s confirmation. And if they do not, both sides might need to rethink basic assumptions about the politics of the Supreme Court.” [LAT]
• Gov. Mark Warner (D-Va.) tours battleground states for a head-start on ‘08. Warner: “As Democrats, what we have to do is put forward ideas and candidates that can win in places like Florida, that can win in places like Virginia.” [NYT]

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• Reliable Source: Matt Cooper: “It’s a good time to remember that rumors are not the same as indictments, and indictments are not the same as convictions,” he said. “So we should all just take a deep breath.” [WP]
• Under the Dome: Allen (R-Va.) is a fan of both the White Sox and the Astros. . . Madeleine Albright had guest spot on “Gilmore Girls.” [The Hill]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Jim Moore and Wayne Slater, authors of “Bush’s Brain,” are rushing out a fresh book on Rove. [NYDN]
• Page Six: New book alleges Michael Moore is a “corporate criminal, environmental menace and racist union-buster.”. . . Clinton receives “custom-blended Chari-Tea from blonde tea maven” at a fundraiser. [NYP, NYP]
• Cindy Adams: Geena Davis is on the cover of the next “Capitol File” magazine. . . Time is “readying stuff” on Bill Clinton in case Hillary runs in ‘08. [NYP]
• Rush & Molloy: Clinton might be a shopaholic. [NYDN]

Judy Miller’s sprung and word is that it is because Dick Cheney aide “Scooter” Libby gave her the okay to testify, finally. The thing is: As with Karl Rove and would-be journalist martyr Matt Cooper, Libby signed a blanket waiver letting Miller release his name long ago. Journalist types differentiate between the blanket waiver of confidentiality and a specific one, but, uhm, you sign the first and maybe you’ll sign the second? Especially when your boss has already done that? What gives with the hanging out in the pokey and not watching CNN and not eating? Too cheap to spring for Canyon Ranch? We were all so First Amendment about you and shit. MORE »

• Reliable Source: Angelina Jolie proves a distraction at Capitol Hill conference on HIV/AIDS. Richard Branson also testifies: “If this were the U.S., there would be a war room set up.”. . . Lynne Cheney visits and revisits Pottery Barn. . . Connie Mack (R-Fl.) is divorcing. [WP]
• Under the Dome: Five Hall of Fame baseball players dragged out to talk about steroid legislation. . . Letter from two Democrat lawmakers regarding Plan B may have influenced FDA commissioner to resign. . . John Dingell (D-Mich.), Mark Foley (R-Fla.), Pat Roberts, ABC’s John Cochran, Howard Fineman, Matt Cooper, and Ben Bradlee attend screening of “Flightplan” hosted by Dan Glickman. [The Hill]
• Inside the Beltway: Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents found themselves hounded for ice by confused hurricane victims. [WT]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Gloria Steinem says ‘08 is too soon for Hillary. [NYDN]
• Rush & Molloy: Ari Fleischer is working for Bud Selig. [NYDN]