A senior administration official groping and kissing his gal employees, the chief executive covering the whole thing up, Democrats calling it worse than Watergate, silence payments made from government checking accounts — this would be the greatest scandal of the year, but it’s just some Missouri governor/agriculture director thing.

But just in case it eventually involves a ritual murder (because otherwise this is never going national), we’ve got the creepy rundown … after the jump.

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According to a Wonkette operative who heard this from two different sources, Republican Senator Kit Bond is going to bail on the Hill and become Chief Lord of the University of Missouri.

In a dastardly move that won’t change the Balance of Power (unless it also involves somebody sneaking into Tim Johnson’s hospital room), Republican and Missourah Guv Matt Blunt will do a Dick Cheney and appoint himself to the Senate seat.

More rumors and a funny picture, after the jump.

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