Tag Archives: matt barber

  nsfw

Wingnut OUTRAGED Obama Gave Interview To Noted Gay Porn Site ‘Huffington Post’

  Big news: President Obama finally did an interview for a gay porn website! Which one, you might be wondering? Fratmen? No, silly, Barack Obama isn’t a fratman, he is the president! Broke Straight Boys? Wrong again, Obama has enough money already. Cocky Boys? We would have seen that already … ahem. No, it is Huffington Post, the gay porn site Arianna Huffington made! Read more on Wingnut OUTRAGED Obama Gave Interview To Noted Gay Porn Site ‘Huffington Post’…
  Make Your Own Billy Club Joke

Wingnut Matt Barber Will Not Be Anti-Gay-Bashed By Armed ‘LGBT Squads’!

They're definitely coming, but not for Matt.
Sometimes we feel a little bad for wingnut’s Wingnut Matt Barber, who spends so much of his time obsessing about the Gays (and the threat they pose to America) that we figure he must be exhausted by quitting time every day. Simply fagged out! His latest rant suggests that perhaps he’s getting a little desperate for material, warning that America faces a whole new danger: scary gangs of armed gay thugs, empowered by the state to make everyone submit to gayness! Read more on Wingnut Matt Barber Will Not Be Anti-Gay-Bashed By Armed ‘LGBT Squads’!…
  Buy One Get One Free At Last Free At Last

Martin Luther King Dreamed That One Day All Rightwingers Would Claim Him As Their Own

Just cut that out, will you?
It’s Martin Luther King Day (his actual birthday was last Thursday), which means it’s time for that weird annual ritual where people who oppose almost everything he stood for in life claim that King is absolutely, positively one of their greatest heroes, and that were he here today, he’d surely support their libertarian, small-government, guns-everywhere, fuck-the-poor, end affirmative action, America for Americans, pass Voter ID, and Freedom For All God’s Corporate Children agendas. After all, Martin Luther King once gave a speech at the Lincoln Memorial, which consisted of a single line about how he dreamed that one day people would be judged not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character, and then he sat down, having said all there was to say on the matter. Read more on Martin Luther King Dreamed That One Day All Rightwingers Would Claim Him As Their Own…
  Let's All Sing The Doom Song!

Obama To Declare Martial Law, Kill Us All With Ebola Because Slavery

Stay calm, OK?
We bet you never would have guessed that the diagnosis of one (1) human being with Ebola virus would lead to a whole bunch of daft conspiracy theories, did you? Don’t be ridonkulous, you would say to yourself. We live in a highly developed modern technological society with terrific special effects in our movies, telephones with more computing capacity than was needed to go to the moon, and medical care that is second to none, if you can afford it at least. We are so advanced that we aren’t even impressed by digital watches anymore, that is how far we have come from the primitive ape descendants we used to be. Read more on Obama To Declare Martial Law, Kill Us All With Ebola Because Slavery…
  It Gets Stupider

Wingnuts Fight For Sacred Right To Keep Bullying Gays, Who Aren’t Real Anyway

Actual result of anti-bullying laws
Here’s a very nice thing that grew out of a very ugly thing, and a very ugly thing in reaction to it: Minnesota’s got a new “Safe and Supportive Schools Act” aimed at combatting bullying and making schools safe and supportive, don’t you know, for LGBT young people. It was passed earlier this year as part of a settlement in a civil-rights lawsuit, and following a string of suicides in the Anoka-Hennepin school district. And of course, now that the law is being implemented, a bunch of wingnuts are fighting to reverse it, because it is Gay Indoctrination that is oppressive to decent Christians who hate gays, with all the Christian love in their mean, pinched hearts. And that is why on Saturday, the “Minnesota Child Protection League” is having a big fundraising dinner headlined by two of America’s premier advocates of gay panic, Matt Barber and all-around Loon Queen Michele Bachmann. Read more on Wingnuts Fight For Sacred Right To Keep Bullying Gays, Who Aren’t Real Anyway…
  the continuing crisis

Wingnut Sexpert Matt Barber: ‘The Left’ Wants To Legally Jizz On Your Children

Wingnut extraordinaire Matt Barber, who writes almost exclusively about how The Gay Agenda is going to kill us all, except for when he explains that feminists are in favor of rape, has discovered another completely new thing about “the Left” and the gays: The real goal of all this legalizing of gay marriage and gay this and gay that is to legalize and promote sex with children, because that’s just how “the Left” rolls. Read more on Wingnut Sexpert Matt Barber: ‘The Left’ Wants To Legally Jizz On Your Children…
  no rest for the wicked

How Is Michelle Obama Being ‘Evil Hitler’ Today? By Encouraging People To Get Health Insurance

That Michelle Obama, always with the evilling, and the Hitlering, like some kind of Evil Hitler. It is like you cannot even turn around in this once-great nation without running into the First Lady of the United States doing something evilly Hitlerian, for instance, encouraging people to drink more water, or encouraging people to sign up for health insurance. Well, she has pulled that evil Hitlerism one too many times for our good pals Mat Staver and Matt Barber! And they are not going to take it any more! Surely, though, they are just going to jaw some, and their invoking of Michelle Obama’s “evil,” “Hitlerian” “dismemberment of children” by encouraging people to sign up for Obamacare is not intended to make anyone take any steps to do something about the great evil Hitlerism nurtured by the mom-in-chief? That would just be crazy! Read more on How Is Michelle Obama Being ‘Evil Hitler’ Today? By Encouraging People To Get Health Insurance…
  something nasty in the woodshed

Wingnut Matt Barber Simply Does Not Care For Young Conservatives’ Libertine Bathhouse CPAC Orgy

Poor Matt Barber. He went to the Conservative Political Action Conference hoping to find like-minded moral scolds, but discovered that once the speeches are done for the day, the events at the Gaylord National Hotel are not all-night prayer meetings, but instead the sort of drunken revels you’d expect from dirty liberals. From the atrium-facing balcony of his 12th-floor room, he hears the parties, the nassty parties and the noise of all the Who’s-Whos in Conservative Whoville: A chorus has begun. What is this? Have party-goers launched an impromptu rendering of “America the Beautiful”? No, this is a chant, joined by scores – a hundred or more perhaps – of young conservative bacchanalians on multiple suite balconies and from the open air bar below. What is that they’re chanting? Is that, “Amer-i-ca! Amer-i-ca!”? At first, it’s hard to tell. It’s a booming echo that reverberates throughout the entire hotel. And then it becomes clear. Alas, our next generation of conservative leaders are not chanting, “Amer-i-ca! Amer-i-ca!” They are, instead, chanting, “F**k O-bama! F**k O-bama!” And I hang my head. Oh, Matt, you poor thing. Somehow, you have managed to not notice that young people in large groups, away from home, often become boorish drunks, regardless of ideology? Barber’s CPAC-inspired cri de butthurt really is a thing of beauty, reeking of disappointment and self-righteous rage. It’s like the time Lisa Simpson won an essay contest and discovered that Washington was a cesspool on the Potomac. Read more on Wingnut Matt Barber Simply Does Not Care For Young Conservatives’ Libertine Bathhouse CPAC Orgy…
  virgin/whore but mostly whore

Wingnut Columnist Matt Barber Decides Feminism Means ‘Please Rape Me.’

There’s this useful phrase, “Not even wrong,” used to indicate an argument that so completely and sloppily misses the point being discussed that it can’t even be assessed as an argument — for instance, a creationist who asks if evolution is real, why don’t we see dogs giving birth to leopards, huh? Not only is that question not right, that’s not even wrong. We mention this because we’re going to be taking a look at the latest brilliant thoughts by crazed WND columnist Matt Barber, who applies his critical thinking skills to a Salon think-piece by Katie McDonough and manages to completely refute something that has no resemblance to anything McDonough actually says. It’s actually rather impressive how thoroughly not even wrong Barber manages to be. Read more on Wingnut Columnist Matt Barber Decides Feminism Means ‘Please Rape Me.’…
  this way for the butthurt ladies and gentlemen

Wingnut Matt Barber Vows He Will Not Get Gay Married, Even If It Means Death Camps And Jail

It’s Monday, which means it’s time to open up the old email inbox and muck out all the Nazi analogies that have piled up over the weekend. Today brings us a generous offer from wingnut Matt Barber: “Attached is a column submission for your consideration. Re-print permission granted.” Well, hey, free content! Oh, wait, it’s from Matt Barber — bet it’s full of stoopid and hyperbole! And by golly, it is! Plus, we’re not sure we can really use it, since it’s an “exclusive” at WND, too. But anyway, what has our poor delicate flower Matt Barber drooping today? Ah, it is the SCOTUS decision on ghey marriage, of course, which is worse than Dred Scott and Roe v. Wade put together, since not only does it grant recognition to “sin-centric and sodomy-based same-sex ‘marriage,'” it also will have the “inevitable outcome” of leading to “Anti-Christian persecution.” Surprise! It turns out that Matt Barber is going to be persecuted if two ladies can file a joint tax return! Better clear out the slave cabins and the trains to Auschwitz! Read more on Wingnut Matt Barber Vows He Will Not Get Gay Married, Even If It Means Death Camps And Jail…
  seduction of the ignorant

Wingnut Matt Barber Calmly Explains Why ‘Obama’s HHS’ Is Pretty Much A Pedophile

Oh my gosh, you guys, did you know that Barack Obama is “grooming” your innocent children to turn them into sex fiends? We’d have been unaware of this science fact were it not for totally credible (or is it “credulous”? We mix those up sometimes) wingnut freakout artist Matt Barber, the guy who angrily denounced the media for ignoring a photo of a “huge Romney rally” that was actually a huge Obama rally in 2008. He also predicted — accurately — that Obamacare would force everyone to get sex changes. In his latest opus for CNSnews, Barber makes the novel claim that all sex education is based on the research of “sexual psychopath” Alfred Kinsey, and therefore all sex ed is aimed at “grooming” children to become sex perverts. He bases this groundbreaking assertion upon the work of his “dear friend and colleague” at Liberty University, Judith Reisman, a culture warrior who has only been making those exact claims against Kinsey, sex ed, and teh ghey since the 1980s. More recently, in 2007, she explained that the Virginia Tech shooter’s brain was poisoned by “erototoxins” generated by his pornography addiction. So you know that this is Real Science! Read more on Wingnut Matt Barber Calmly Explains Why ‘Obama’s HHS’ Is Pretty Much A Pedophile…
  not supposed to say it is just like goebbels

Wingnuts Furious Media Ignored Huge Crowds at Romney Rallies That Are Actually Obama Rallies

Matt Barber is an asshole, that is not “news.” He tweeted the above famous photo of a Portland rally (which at the time, we recall, some Foxers claimed the huge crowds had turned out not for Obama but for The Decemberists) and was quite miffed that the media is ignoring these huge, er, Romney rallies? The good folks at Good As You noted this, and Barber was forced most unwillingly to change his complaint from “media ignoring giant Romney rallies” to “now Obama’s rallies are so small!” But Barber seems to have gotten his ridiculously bad information from the crazy person after the jump. Read more on Wingnuts Furious Media Ignored Huge Crowds at Romney Rallies That Are Actually Obama Rallies…