Tag Archives: math

  begun these nerd wars have

Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup

One of the “fun” things about presidential elections is that every four years there’s a new dumb thing about the process for political junkies to yell at each other about despite the disinterest or genuine disgust of normals, and this year it’s polling! Did Nate Silver’s devil-math suck all the fun out of democracy, forever? Were the polls skewed because they didn’t reflect Republican understanding of reality? Were Gallup and Rasmussen “in the tank” for Republicans? Well, Gallup Editor-in-Chief Frank Newport has decided to weigh in on this controversy, and would like you to know that (a) Gallup was not wrong, because it abruptly stopped picking Romney to win by 7 points several days before the election, and (b) Nate Silver is a parasitic remora clinging to the great white shark that is Gallup and if everyone gets into the Nate Silver business the whole polling industry will collapse, and then we’ll have no polling at all, and then we’ll be sorry! Read more on Without Gallup’s Crappy Polls, Nate Silver Is Nothing, Says Gallup…
  rise of the machines

Terrifying Numbers-Wizard Nate Silver Predicts Electoral College; Future Elections To Be Replaced By Math

Good morning, America! Does this map look familiar to you? Of course it does, it’s the map appearing on every newspaper website in the country, indicating which party won all the various states in the Electoral College in last night’s election. Except this particular map actually comes from Nate Silver’s math and numbers emporium, and was created before any votes were counted! Is this proof that all elections will be replaced by the soulless beeping of IBM computers? Let’s hope! Read more on Terrifying Numbers-Wizard Nate Silver Predicts Electoral College; Future Elections To Be Replaced By Math…
  skew skew ka choo

Don’t Worry, Republicans, We Have Found These Awesome Made-Up Polls For You

If you’re a Romney supporter, you likely look with sadness and disdain upon the current state of political polling, which has consistently failed for weeks to show your guy with a lead.  In fact, the last time Mitt Romney had a lead in the RCP average, it was fall. Of 2011. What to do, then? Well, you unskew the polls, that’s what! Enter Unskewed Polls, which takes scientifically conducted polls and, with no particular methodology or reasoning, makes them pro-Romney. Read more on Don’t Worry, Republicans, We Have Found These Awesome Made-Up Polls For You…
  the fetus you save may be your own

Arizona Republicans Manage To Combine Wars On Women, Math

Hello Arizona, how many children are you going to save from the whims of their cruel, ignorant, feminist, baby-murdering mothers? Answer: none! Or maybe: a lot! It’s tough to say, because U.S. District Judge James Teilborg is confident that abortion restrictions after 20 weeks of pregnancy will not really lead to less abortions but Maricopa County Attorney Bill Montgomery insists that it will save fetuses. The GOP, it does not do math so good lately.  Read more on Arizona Republicans Manage To Combine Wars On Women, Math…
  rich folk

Sorry, Arkansans Making $1899 Per Year, You Are Too Rich For Medicaid

Here is a fun (!) morning math lesson for you, our brilliant and talented and math-capable readers! If Arkanasas currently provides Medicaid to those making 17 percent of the poverty level in the US, and the poverty line in the US for a single person is $11,170 per year, how little do you have to earn to be eligible? The answer is $1898. That is not very much bread, man! So would Arkansas like some free federal cashish to expand its eligibility for Medicaid to those making all the way up to the poverty line? Read more on Sorry, Arkansans Making $1899 Per Year, You Are Too Rich For Medicaid…
  wonkette algebra hour

Moonie Times: Obama Plays Golf One Billion Hours Per Day

DC’s favorite Korean cult newspaper The Washington Times is celebrating President Obama’s 100th round of golf as president by putting this in fascinating mathematical context: “The next time President Obama hits the links, it will be his 100th round of golf since coming to the White House. That’s quite a milestone in just 3 1/2 years. As it takes him about six hours to drive to the greens and complete 18 holes, Mr. Obama has spent the equivalent of four months’ worth of work time golfing. Meanwhile, the U.S. economy has been stuck in a sand trap.” Care to show your work there, Moonies? We’ll show ours. Read more on Moonie Times: Obama Plays Golf One Billion Hours Per Day…
  department of wtf

Georgia School Brings Slavery, Slave Beatings Into Math Questions

Georgia’s Gwinnett County School District is coming under fire after parents came across math homework featuring some really atrocious questions involving slavery. Two questions in particular — one involving the number of oranges picked by slaves and another about the number of times Frederick Douglass might have been beaten in a week — were apparently aimed at teaching third graders about multiplication. Nine teachers at Beaver Ridge Elementary School insist they were “attempting to do a cross-curricular activity with a book the children had read about abolitionist Frederick Douglass in their social studies class.” Um, which book? These teachers might be decent at math, but they are terrible at social studies. Read more on Georgia School Brings Slavery, Slave Beatings Into Math Questions…
  the way confounds

Stunning Enlightenment of Alvin Greene Renders CNN Incapable of Doing Math

Surprise candidate Alvin Greene was soundly defeated in his second bid for elective office on Tuesday. He captured only 37 votes or just about .01% of the 3,892 cast in a Democratic primary to fill a state legislature seat to cover an area including his hometown of Manning, South Carolina. Read more on Stunning Enlightenment of Alvin Greene Renders CNN Incapable of Doing Math…
  barry can you hear me?

Happy 4th of July Collection of Op-Ed Filth!

This week was so fucking awesome it blew my mind all over my fucking face! Now get ready for this political op-ed column to have the exact same effect on your SOUL. I will trepan your life-essence and use it as renewable resource, and I will be carbon-neutral by 2011! You’ve been warned, slaves! Read more on Happy 4th of July Collection of Op-Ed Filth!…
  an education

UHHH… “The Secret Service investigated an Alabama high school teacher for using the example of shooting President Obama while teaching a geometry lesson.” Is there any other way to teach geometry? “He was talking about angles and said, ‘If you’re in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president.'” Oh dear god. And not that it matters, but what’s he thinking here, secant? cotangent? Corresponding Parts of Congruent Triangles are Congruent (CPCTC)? Just kidding, it does matter. [TPM] Read more on …
  supply and demand

But Who Will Make More Doctors?

Oh so is this what that woman was talking about at Obama’s Knife ‘n’ Gun Show yesterday? This one questioner, called upon specifically because she had “concerns,” made the excellent point that if you insure 46 million people who currently have no health coverage, then they might actually go to the doctor once in a while! This may create a “doctor shortage” of some sort that would be terribly inconvenient for those of us who currently enjoy immediate access to doctors of all sorts, due to the fact that we do not have to share them with a large percentage of our countrymen. Read more on But Who Will Make More Doctors?…
  polling shocker

Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!

Nobody quite knew what to make of Karl Rove’s very aggressive election night projections, but it seemed safe to conclude that he was trying to mess with Barack Obama in a very sinister and subtle way. People feared that Rove’s projection of 338 electoral votes set the bar too high, so that if Obama won narrowly he would look “illegitimate.” And if Obama lost, he would really look like a loser. Read more on Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!…
  polling theories

Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates

Through the magic of his math and numbers, Nate Silver has proved conclusively that modern American voters have a very secret shameful prejudice they will only indulge in the privacy of the polling booth: they do not like Republicans. Sure, they will tell a pollster on the phone, “Yes, I am definitely voting for that nice Republican. Some of my best friends are Republicans!” but then they will still pull the lever for the Democrat when nobody is looking. This is why so many Republican candidates underperformed in 2006 poll projections. Americans must have an open, honest dialogue about party affiliation so that our poll projections can be more accurate. [FiveThirtyEight] Read more on Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates…
 

How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now

So Hillary Clinton has announced that she will stay in the presidential race until there is a nominee. By most measures, there already is one, so she is stupid. But Elite Math still says that she has a chance of winning this thing, as the above scenario from CNN’s thrill-a-minute delegate counter shows. In this one, she will clinch the nomination (with one extra delegate!) by winning 45% of undecided superdelegates and 100% of remaining pledged delegates. Yes She Can! What other possibilities are there for Hillary to become president, according to this fun CNN game? Read more on How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now…
 

Obama’s Joyless Math Beats Hillary’s Magical Maps

Cable news anchors, you are all fired, except for Chuck Todd. You freak out for weeks about all the crazy doomsday scenarios in which Hillary Clinton might be able to WREST the nomination from Captain Hope, and finally at 2 a.m. you’re like, “Oh, but the math.” This is a photograph of Hillary Clinton also thinking about math. [New York Observer] Read more on Obama’s Joyless Math Beats Hillary’s Magical Maps…
 

Hillary’s Magical Maps!

Top Clinton advisor Harold Ickes arrived on Capitol Hill yesterday armed with magical maps showing how his candidate would win the nomination if Democrats were Republicans, Florida and Michigan’s excluded votes were included, and black caucus-goers were cast into the sea. These maps created a spacious gulag in the Middle West for educated voters under 40, and demonstrated how Barack Obama could never win tough Republican strongholds like California and New York. Read more on Hillary’s Magical Maps!…