Tag Archives: math

  barry can you hear me?

Happy 4th of July Collection of Op-Ed Filth!

This week was so fucking awesome it blew my mind all over my fucking face! Now get ready for this political op-ed column to have the exact same effect on your SOUL. I will trepan your life-essence and use it as renewable resource, and I will be carbon-neutral by 2011! You’ve been warned, slaves! Read more on Happy 4th of July Collection of Op-Ed Filth!…
  an education

UHHH… “The Secret Service investigated an Alabama high school teacher for using the example of shooting President Obama while teaching a geometry lesson.” Is there any other way to teach geometry? “He was talking about angles and said, ‘If you’re in this building, you would need to take this angle to shoot the president.'” Oh dear god. And not that it matters, but what’s he thinking here, secant? cotangent? Corresponding Parts of Congruent Triangles are Congruent (CPCTC)? Just kidding, it does matter. [TPM] Read more on …
  supply and demand

But Who Will Make More Doctors?

Oh so is this what that woman was talking about at Obama’s Knife ‘n’ Gun Show yesterday? This one questioner, called upon specifically because she had “concerns,” made the excellent point that if you insure 46 million people who currently have no health coverage, then they might actually go to the doctor once in a while! This may create a “doctor shortage” of some sort that would be terribly inconvenient for those of us who currently enjoy immediate access to doctors of all sorts, due to the fact that we do not have to share them with a large percentage of our countrymen. Read more on But Who Will Make More Doctors?…
  polling shocker

Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!

Nobody quite knew what to make of Karl Rove’s very aggressive election night projections, but it seemed safe to conclude that he was trying to mess with Barack Obama in a very sinister and subtle way. People feared that Rove’s projection of 338 electoral votes set the bar too high, so that if Obama won narrowly he would look “illegitimate.” And if Obama lost, he would really look like a loser. Read more on Rove’s Electoral Projections Were Realistic-ish!…
  polling theories

Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates

Through the magic of his math and numbers, Nate Silver has proved conclusively that modern American voters have a very secret shameful prejudice they will only indulge in the privacy of the polling booth: they do not like Republicans. Sure, they will tell a pollster on the phone, “Yes, I am definitely voting for that nice Republican. Some of my best friends are Republicans!” but then they will still pull the lever for the Democrat when nobody is looking. This is why so many Republican candidates underperformed in 2006 poll projections. Americans must have an open, honest dialogue about party affiliation so that our poll projections can be more accurate. [FiveThirtyEight] Read more on Bizarro Bradley Effect Shocker: Voters Secretly Refuse To Support Republican Candidates…
 

How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now

So Hillary Clinton has announced that she will stay in the presidential race until there is a nominee. By most measures, there already is one, so she is stupid. But Elite Math still says that she has a chance of winning this thing, as the above scenario from CNN’s thrill-a-minute delegate counter shows. In this one, she will clinch the nomination (with one extra delegate!) by winning 45% of undecided superdelegates and 100% of remaining pledged delegates. Yes She Can! What other possibilities are there for Hillary to become president, according to this fun CNN game? Read more on How Hillary Clinton Will Win The Nomination Now…
 

Obama’s Joyless Math Beats Hillary’s Magical Maps

Cable news anchors, you are all fired, except for Chuck Todd. You freak out for weeks about all the crazy doomsday scenarios in which Hillary Clinton might be able to WREST the nomination from Captain Hope, and finally at 2 a.m. you’re like, “Oh, but the math.” This is a photograph of Hillary Clinton also thinking about math. [New York Observer] Read more on Obama’s Joyless Math Beats Hillary’s Magical Maps…
 

Hillary’s Magical Maps!

Top Clinton advisor Harold Ickes arrived on Capitol Hill yesterday armed with magical maps showing how his candidate would win the nomination if Democrats were Republicans, Florida and Michigan’s excluded votes were included, and black caucus-goers were cast into the sea. These maps created a spacious gulag in the Middle West for educated voters under 40, and demonstrated how Barack Obama could never win tough Republican strongholds like California and New York. Read more on Hillary’s Magical Maps!…
 

The Pennsylvania Surge Is Working!

Hold on to your panties, Obamatards: since Wednesday night’s debate, Barack Obama has lost a point and Hillary Clinton has gained two in the prestigious Zogby Poll. The final nail in the coffin comes from Zogby’s own John Zogby: “No ground really gained or lost by either candidate after Wednesday’s debate.” DOOM DOOM DOOM. [Newsmax/Real Clear Politics] Read more on The Pennsylvania Surge Is Working!…
 

Clinton Fears U.S. Becoming Island Nation Of Samurai

Hillary Clinton is afraid that Americans are going to start prancing around in knee socks and filming radioactive giant lizard-based horror films, now that we are sinking into a “Japanese-style malaise.” But these terrible tragedies can be avoided if we resort to crazy nanny state policies like having the Federal Housing Administration purchase underwater mortgages. Read more on Clinton Fears U.S. Becoming Island Nation Of Samurai…
 

Al Gore Will Be Our Next Vice President, Again

There is no better way to divine the future than to see what people are betting on. This is why everybody knew well in advance that the Patriots were going to win the Super Bowl in a walk! Now the mathematics of chance turns its eagle eye to the Democratic vice presidential contest and discovers that the likeliest pick is Nobel Prize winner, 8-year Veep, and secret president Al Gore. Read more on Al Gore Will Be Our Next Vice President, Again…
 

Mike Huckabee Bravely Battles Math

Senator John McCain might have enough delegates to win the Republican presidential nomination, but that’s not stopping rival Mike Huckabee from soldiering on. Huckabee now has the opportunity to define himself as the only true conservative in the race with the guts to stand up to Big Math. Read more on Mike Huckabee Bravely Battles Math…
 

To Do: Math Marketing

* Mute Math at the 9:30 Club with The Cinematics & Someone Still Loves You Boris Yeltsin $15 at 9 p.m. [9:30 Club] * The Artie Shaw Orchestra (minus the late Artie Shaw) at the Blues Alley. $25 at 8 p.m. & 10 p.m. [Blues Alley] * Four local authors — Louis Bayard, Eleanor Herman, Franklin Foer, and James Swanson — read from their books at the Penn Quarter Olsson’s. What connects these authors? HarperCollins paperbacks. Free at 7 p.m. [Olsson’s] Read more on To Do: Math Marketing…