YES SHE CAN'T: Hillary's big 10% win last night is now down to a 9.2% win, which is only "double digits" if you count the fraction of the percentage. Go Hilz! [Political Wire]
She's in it, and she's in it to win, but everybody else is just kind of looking at their watches with an increasing sense of annoyance. Let's take a look at the Top Ten reasons why Hillary Clinton won the last debate so much that if she doesn't drop out after Pennsylvania, Howard Dean will personally have her shipped to Gitmo.
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Every four years Democrats say they're going to win elections by getting more young 'uns and black people to vote, and every four years George Bush gets elected again. But this time will be different, says Barack Obama, because he is getting "folks" to register to vote and he will kick their asses if they don't.
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PENNSYLVANIA HATES HILLARY 5% MORE EVERY WEEK: Mrs. Clinton had a 15-point lead over the terrible bowler Barack Obama just three weeks ago. Now she's only got a 5-point lead over Hopeful Barry. By the time Pennsylvania finally has its primary in three weeks, we'll probably be having a war with Iran. [Rasmussen Reports]
Guess who took a big hit in the polls thanks to that crazy "slavery is wrong" reverend guy who Barack Obama used to love so much? That's right, Hillary Clinton.
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Besides the wives and children, who are the true victims of high-placed leaders' tawdry sex affairs? Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, of course! Former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and indicted Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick are (or were) both Democratic superdelegates. Spitzer was in the tank for Clinton, while Kilpatrick reportedly favors Obama, even though the Obama campaign halfheartedly denies it. So what happens when reckless oversexed Democrats let their personal addictions interfere with their public lives? They make the increasingly weird superdelegate count even less predictable. Of course, none of this matters if Clinton and Obama superdelegates keep cancelling each other out by getting caught in embarrassing situations in equal numbers. [Political Punch, NPR]
Even though Hillary Clinton is doomed to lose the delegate count in Texas, she insists that the Texas Democratic Party verify every signature from its caucus ballots before the state Senate district conventions in order to confirm her official losingness. You see, the twisted intestinal tract called "the Democratic voting process in Texas" intentionally allows opportunities for fraud at virtually every step of the process, and Clinton wants to make sure every on of these opportunities is taken. Or is it the opposite? We are confused, again.
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While he may not have won more delegates than Senator Hillary Clinton, Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama has still won the state of California through sheer force of charm and "momentum." It turns out that he keeps winning more delegates, even though the polls have been closed for years, but most news organizations can't bother to update their numbers because they can't do math.
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